im pretty sure my anxiety/depression has gotten worse overall to the point im too scared to attend to my needs like how other people do for theirs. i just cant seem to do anything when theres people around. like my body just wont allow it, in school im too scared to even ask for help or to go to the toilet, i dont buy or eat any food during my breaks so i starve myself everyday no matter how hungry i am. does this ever get better? i do plan to seek professional help like therapy, counselling maybe even get prescribed but maybe not right now as i dont want my parents or family overall to know anything. any suggestions?
Hey @idkanymore. It sounds like this has been such a heavy and lonely experience for you. I can imagine how hard it must be to push through every day feeling trapped by fear, especially when it keeps you from eating or asking for help. That’s a lot to carry.
But I want to acknowledge how much self-awareness you’ve shown here. You’ve been able to notice your patterns, name what’s happening, and even identify possible next steps like therapy or counselling. That takes courage, especially when you’re dealing with anxiety and depression. And the fact that you’re wondering if it “gets better” tells me there’s still a part of you holding on to hope, and that’s important. Recovery is not instant, but many people do find ways to manage these feelings over time with the right support and small, manageable steps.
Since you’re not ready for your family to know, maybe you could look into school counsellors, helplines, or even text-based support so you can talk to someone safely. Even online spaces like this can be a way to practice opening up.
If you’re open to it, you might want to try tiny steps like packing a snack you can eat quickly somewhere private, drinking water during break, stepping out for a moment to take a breather, or asking someone you trust to walk with you. Those little wins can add up.
You’re not alone in this, okay? You’ve already taken a brave first step by speaking up here, and that’s something worth recognizing 
Dear @idkanymore
I’m sad to hear how much you are going through and I’m glad that you have taken this first step to reach out here. It is clear to me that you are self aware that the present behaviours are not working. Continuing them will not help; instead you find the situation is getting worse and more unbearable and you are in pain.
I feel and hear you.
Please know that it’s fully valid that it is going to be difficult to do things differently from what you are used to doing in the present.
Understandably it’s hard to change the present behaviours although these are causing problems.
Hence, I encourage you to start small in effecting changes, dear @idkanymore. For example, arrange with a classmate to go to recess together to buy a small snack.
Practise walking towards the nearest toilet just to wash your hands at first and gradually build up the steps towards using the cubicles.
What @ScribblingSunflower has suggested, which is to bring food and snacks from home and eat them in the classroom is something you can definitely try out, too. Gradually, arrange with a classmate to go recess to buy a small snack (like a bread bun or bao) which you can eat either along the school corridor or in a quiet corner of the school. What you are doing here is slowly building up the steps to expand your comfort level to do more of the daily functions.
Reach out to the school counsellor and share what you are going through. I believe just talking about it in a safe space is helpful and you may gain some insights and learn strategies to slowly function despite anxiety.
Alternatively you can call the national mindline 1771 if you prefer anonymity.
I hope these are suggestions which are useful and doable. Start small and celebrate small wins. Let us know how you are doing and reach out whenever you need to 
hi @idkanymore , im sorry to hear that things haven’t been going well for you 
being unable to seek professional help could be daunting, but im glad that you decided to take the step of telling us your troubles! i hope you can find some comfort this way 
some suggestions i have:
- have a friend accompany you for your school activities, like buying food and going to the toilet. it may be scary alone, but perhaps having someone you trust doing the same actions can make it easier for you
- bring some food from home! this way, you don’t need to go through the trouble of buying food
- go to the toilet before/after school, and during recess? you’re allowed to go without the teachers permission at these times
also,
^yes, i think it does :))
Hello @idkanymore Thankyou for sharing, I was in a similar situation in primary and secondary school, I did not eat because I was scared of meeting people from my primary school in the Sec school canteen and also went hungry for the day including CCA days.
I just wanted to say that, it’s too normal to be scared, everyone will be scared, but even in fear you still managed to post this, to seek help, so thank you for your courage and bravery for being able to manage this step.
If you want to seek help without your parents noticing, I would recommend helplines like what
has suggested. Or even online videos on social anxiety that can provide you with healthy techniques to be able to manage it. I know it’s an overwhelming fear and after any teacher asks you a question your heart beats faster, I feel this way too, and it’s normal. So, please take it slowly, and I’m sure it’ll be better. Sorry for the poor english.
Hi @idkanymore,
Your experience sounds incredibly heavy and isolating, and I want you to know that your pain makes sense given everything you’re carrying. The fear of being seen, judged, or misunderstood can be paralyzing, especially when it feels like even basic needs become battlegrounds.
You’re not weak for struggling with this. In fact, the fact that you’re still showing up is a sign of strength. It can get better, especially with support, and while you’re not ready to involve your family yet, there are gentle ways to start exploring help that respect your boundaries.
For a start, you may wish to seek help by contacting these anonymous helplines. These operate 24/7 and are offered free-of-charge:
National Mindline: 1711 (Call) or +65 6669 1771 (WhatsApp)
Samaritans of Singapore: 1767 (Call) or +65 9151 1767 (WhatsApp)
Best regards,
Han_Solo_2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline
Hi there thank you for sharing this here. That fear sounds so intense, and just hearing how you can’t do things that you need to do, like go to the toilet and eat — I really empathise and can hear how big the fear is.
I’m glad you’re open to counselling support, because you shouldn’t have to go through this alone. It’s so brave and I’m proud of you! I’m excited for you to take those steps to getting better, when the time comes.
What might be helpful in the meantime, is taking small steps that you’re willing to try out. Going from zero to 100 is scary. But what might a zero to maybe 5 or 10 look like? For example it could be trying to eat a small snack (so not a full meal, and you don’t have to go out and buy it too just something maybe you can bring from home and eat it). Or whatever a comfortable small small challenge looks like for you! Because sometimes doing the big things are scary, but there are some small things that you can try too
Hello @idkanymore thank you so much for sharing all of this. I can really hear how overwhelming things have been for you, and it makes so much sense that you’re feeling scared and stuck right now.
What you’re describing, the fear of meeting your needs when others are around, the way anxiety and depression make even small tasks feel impossible, is actually a very common and valid response to the kind of distress you’re going through. You’re not alone in feeling this way. Sometimes, just getting through the day takes every bit of energy we have, and things like eating, asking for help, or going to the toilet can start to feel too difficult or unsafe, especially in public or school settings.
You mentioned not eating during breaks even when you’re hungry. That’s a really painful situation to be in. If it feels manageable, maybe having a small familiar snack with you, something easy and comforting, could be one gentle way to take care of yourself. No pressure to finish it, just having it there can be a quiet reminder that you deserve care.
I’m also really glad to hear you’re thinking about therapy or counseling. That’s a huge and brave step. And it’s completely okay if you’re not ready to involve your family right now. Many people feel the same way, and there are still options out there. When you’re ready, you might be able to find confidential support through school or online services.
Things can get better, even if it feels impossible right now. You’re already showing so much awareness and strength just by noticing what’s going on and talking about it. You’re not broken. Your mind and body are just trying to protect you in the best way they know how. And with the right support, things can shift.