Feeling heavy hearted over work

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
1

Hi,

I came across this platform and wanted to share how I’ve been feeling about work. Being in a people-focused field, I often feel like I have to keep up a facade with both internal colleagues and external partners. Recently, I was told that I like to blow my own horns. I didn’t address it at the time, but the remark has been weighing on me, and I ended up having a bit of a meltdown.

Since then, I’ve been questioning myself, wondering if I somehow offended others when I usually keep quiet about my work unless it’s during an open appraisal where I share my achievements. Isn’t that normal? Her words really affected me, and lately, I’ve been holding back, hesitant to share anything—especially since my RO backstabbed me by telling my boss I’m “transactional” in my work.

It feels heavy, being misunderstood like this, and it gets worse when they indirectly reference God and karma in group chats, which seems aimed at me. As a Christian, I struggle to relate to it, and I’m beginning to wonder if I should just quit. What I assumed was a workplace filled with kind, supportive people now feels like a space with self-interest and hidden agendas.

As an overthinker, it’s affecting me deeply. I feel dejected and helpless. On one hand, I have bills to pay and a family to take care of, but work takes up 3/4 of my time. I feel burnt out, constantly anxious, and there’s never any time for personal learning. My boss expects me to multitask; which I do, but it’s overwhelming—and I don’t have any real guidance. There’s so much ambiguity, especially since we’re always trying out new initiatives. It’s all starting to feel too much.

I’ve to admit that I used to be vocal and share what I feel is right but I think the wrong perception has been formed and it’s quite hard to change it even when I try. From an optimist to a pessimist now….

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Hi @user1545

Thank you courageously bringing up what you are experiencing. That’s a lot going on and it’s fully valid and understandable that you are experiencing many emotions including :

  1. Emotional distress from perceived misunderstandings and criticism.
  2. Self-doubt and loss of confidence.
  3. Feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, and undervalued.
  4. Conflict between personal values and workplace dynamics.
  5. Anxiety and pessimism.

I believe it would help you to know that most of us would react similarly to how you are feeling if faced with your situation so you are not alone. Do seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional with some urgency so that some of the issues can be addressed fairly soon. It may bring some much needed relief from the current overwhelming distress.

I believe the following reflection could help you clarify your thoughts and figure out what to do next:

  1. Identify your strengths and accomplishments.
  2. Clarify your values and boundaries.
  3. Explore ways to address concerns constructively.

Once you have a better idea what you want:

  1. Communicate openly with your boss about expectations and challenges.
  2. Set realistic goals and prioritise tasks.
  3. Establish boundaries and self-care routines.
  4. Develop a growth mindset to cope with ambiguity.
  5. Document accomplishments for future reference.

Do also:

  1. Evaluate whether this work environment aligns with your well-being.
  2. Explore options for transferring or transitioning roles.
  3. Prioritise self-care and personal growth.
    Practise self compassion and mindfulness.

You 100% deserve respect, understanding, and a healthy work environment that facilitates your holistic growth and development reasonably and fairly. :heart:

1 Like
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Hello @user1545 ! :wave:t2: Thank you for sharing your experience !

It seems like you have a lot on your plate, particularly when it seems like you can’t be who you really are at work. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. It may be draining to work in a people-centered sector, particularly when everything you say and do appears to be scrutinised and expectations conflict with your ideals. It’s quite OK to discuss your accomplishments during assessments; that’s what such times are for, and it’s unjust for someone to misrepresent your motivations. When we are misinterpreted, it may be difficult to avoid overanalysing, particularly if we take pleasure in our efforts and transparency.

Workplaces may sometimes turn into places of rivalry and misunderstanding, which seems to be making everything you’re currently dealing with more difficult. Perhaps regaining a tiny amount of your own time, even if it’s just a few minutes each day, might help to calm the stress. You are obviously resilient, and it’s OK to take care of yourself while you go through this. Have faith that this event, no matter how difficult it may seem, doesn’t define who you are. You should be quite pleased of yourself since you’re giving it your all :blush:

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Thank you for the positive and kind words. I’ve lately been in a low mood again with the non stop work demands that dosent add value to my portfolio. I feel like a token having to craft high level work with no guidance. Thinking of quitting and just have a career break.

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Hello,

Thank you for the words of affirmation. I’ve been pondering and it appears that i might need to leave before it creeps on me. It surely isn’t align with my own aspirations.