Broke down at work

Hey therapist,

Today I broke down at work when my higher manager asked if everything was okay and if I had anything I wanted to say about my issues.

I just couldn’t control my emotions about some workplace bullying incidences by my line manager although I always told myself to never break down when issues arise cause it’s a big Nono at work. I told my manager that what the superior did to me (she was in the room) had taken a toll on my mental health. Prior to these tears, my boss had called me out on some late submissions I had.

In my previous workplace, I also broke down in front of my former higher manager about another bullying case by my superior.

As for now, I really don’t think much about my career progress and promotions because of what happened today and am more focused on my well being. But I feel much better today after all my crying because I can move on to action plans for my mind.

Prior to this I was crying uncontrollably at home at random times when I think of how unfair my treatment was at work. I even felt so demotivated to live and carry out life as it is.

Im not sure should I do some depression anxiety screening or what? I just feel my my body is recovering now

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Hello @jello190 ! Not a therapist here but just wanna say it’s okay to let out your emotions especially given the situation you were in. Im so sorry you had to go thru such unfair treatment at work and it must have definitely been not easy for you to report it to your manger so kudos to you for fighting for yourself and your mental well being :muscle:t2:

If you are thinking about weather you should seek help or not well I can tell you from personal experience I decided to go to the councillor during a period of time when I was overwhelmed and looping through a spiral of negative thoughts. It really helped me organise my thoughts and emotions overall.

Also I feel that it’s perfectly fine to seek support even when you’re feeling okay or recovering , as doing so can reveal valuable insights that aid you in navigating challenging moments. So don’t be afraid heh :relieved:

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Hi @jello190

Thank you for sharing about what you just went through at work. It must’ve been really difficult so I’m glad you found the courage to open up to share this. I’m wondering how you must’ve felt in front of your manager… definitely feels like a pressure cooker situation especially with the bullying incident and you trying to hold it all in. I think the tears and sadness (or perhaps even some anger) could be a signal about what you truly felt and it was your body’s way of expressing it. It might feel random but our emotions are strongly tied to our thoughts too – in this case, I would think it made sense for the way you responded given what you felt and experienced before, and feeling how history is repeating itself too, I’m guessing.

It sounds like your emotions were acting as a messenger – I’m wondering what it’s trying to tell you. I wonder if there might had been one very clear or strong emotion being felt or that it could’ve been a mixture of several different ones? Whatever it is, your emotions was and is valid, and that it’s only natural for you to have experienced it. Now what you can do is to try and see what’s behind those emotions –as in, what kind of thoughts are driving them, is there something that is not being met or got taken away from you? That could clue you in towards what you’re actually seeking out. Look for patterns or any common theme(s). The more you understand your emotions, the more actions (like you correctly pointed out: action plans!) you can take to meet your needs.

Additionally, it could be helpful to speak to a professional for some assistance, perhaps you can consider Family Service Centres. They can provide a safe space to help you process your feelings and to come up with some ideas to help you deal with what you’re experiencing. Regarding screening for depressed mood or anxious feelings, you can check this out for more information – I think it’s helpful to find out more to better understand your condition.

I’m glad to hear that you’re putting your mental health as a top priority. I hear you when you say it must’ve been difficult to go on, with life no less. It must feel scary and lonely too so I want you to know that I’m here to listen if you’d like to share more. I also want to remind you to take care of yourself! That starts with getting enough rest, nutrition, care, joy, exercise, compassion, companionship, etc. - anything that helps you through the day! Lastly, do let us know how else we can continue to support you, yeah. Hear from you soon!

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Thank you very much for the kind reassurance and advices. As a daughter, I’ve grown up with a father who has always taught me to suck everything up and to never ever show signs of in his own understanding, weakness such as crying as it shows I can’t cope at work. I’ve tried This technique and it has worked well for one year but I find myself occasionally crying in the washroom cubicle, home and at my private work room as it’s been a stressful year and I’ve overcomed everything I never knew I could do. You’re right, looking for patterns is essential and I’ve just signed up for the gym and I can tell you how much it has given me some good dopamine and so much joy within just a day. I wrote on this page because I felt like my life would change after that breakdown and opportunities won’t come my way anymore because I’m a sensitive person but I’ve also noticed that I always pre amp what people would think about me. It’s all in my mind. And the beauty is we don’t need to really worry what others think say or do else we would never live in peace. I’ve just continued to be professional at work as per usual even after the incident and I will try my very best to prioritise my well being. Much love to you because your words has made me feel like my feelings are seriously valid for the first time in my life :heart:

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Hey @jello190 great to hear back from you! And sharing how you’ve found ways to cope via exercise, shifting attitudes, and most importantly prioritising yourself! Also, thank you for your kind words too!

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