I have just joined this new company for 3 months , but i am really struggling to vibe with my colleagues here . i used to be liked so much by people at my previous company , and they have always come and talk to me . it is a very different vibe in here . they are not talking to me and not inviting me to anything. i feel so ignored..i have tried to have some kind of conversation, and small talks..but it didnt work..i have anxiety. and this worsen my anxiety . i am anxious every morning just the thought of going to work and being around the people that , i feel like, dont like me at all. you may think that this is a small problem and it is not that bad..but trust me , this affects me so much ..any advise ?
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Hey @user9771. I can really feel how heavy this has been on you. What you’re going though is not a small thing at all. When we’re used to feeling seen and included, entering a new space where it’s quiet or cold can feel like rejection, even if no one say it outright which can really shake your confidence. It makes total sense that this is worsening your anxiety.
It’s not just about “small talk”, it’s about belonging, and when that’s missing, work can start to feel really lonely. You’re not overreacting.
You didn’t become less likeable overnight. This isn’t about your worth, it’s about fit and dynamics that are still forming. The version of you that thrived at your last workplace still exists. You are still that person.
Also, just a gentle perspective shift: sometimes people in new environments take longer to open up, not because of you, but because of them, their own personalities, comfort zones, or even internal cliques. That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong at all.
In the meantime, if you’re open, what’s one small thing you can do to take care of yourself before work, like a song, a mantra or a grounding habit that reminds you: “I’m worthy of connection, even if it doesn’t show up immediately.”?
You’re doing your best in a tough situation, and that matters a lot. Sending a lot of care and warmth your way, okay? 
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Thanks. this means a lot , really . one small thing that i do usually before i step in my office ..inside my car, alone..is .. breathing , box-breathing, i saw this video on tiktok about dealing with anxious feeling, and it says about box-breathing ..and meditation.yeah it works , but this emotions is up and down everyday ..its roller coster . and it is very uncomfortable .im not a person who likes attention , or needs people to attend me , in fact , im a person who can get very private and i am actually always keeping things to myself . unless to people i am really close with , but now , all of a sudden , i long for human interactions..and i dont like this version of myself.
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hello, thank you for sharing. starting at a new place can be quite difficult since everything is unfamiliar, from the work environment and the team. from what I understand, you have taken the first step to start a conservation with your colleagues, which I commend you for that 
I believe through constant check ins like asking your colleagues how are you, or an interesting thing you can mention can slowly break the ice. I understand this may be a little tough.
and it is okay to want to have human interaction, as work can get quite hectic sometimes and confiding in someone is comforting. rooting for you op 
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thank you so much for telling me this. i do greet them good morning and all, i dont know, i am just sometimes a little annoyed when they are only talking among themselves and i was there . and no one is asking how am i doing . and i am new there , without nobody to help me with work , i have to call my senior-he’s not physically in the same office as me ..yeah , it is a lonely road. and i feel like i’m really on my own , and it sucks
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Hey again @user9771. Thank you for sharing this so honestly. I really admire how you’re taking care of yourself with the box-breathing and showing up every day even when your insides are flipping around like a rollercoaster. That’s no small feat. The fact that you notice what’s shifting inside you shows growth, not a flaw.
Maybe this version of you, the one that’s longing for connection isn’t a bad version. Maybe it’s a softer one. Maybe it’s a braver one too. One that’s slowly realizing that it’s okay to want support too. You don’t have to push it away or rush it. Just let it be part of you, without judgement.
When our inner world gets shaken, sometimes our old ways of coping no longer feel enough, and that’s when new part of us starts reaching out, longing for what’s we’ve been missing: connection, gentleness, understanding. That doesn’t make you needy, it makes you human.
You can be private and still crave warmth.
You can be independent and still need others.
It doesn’t have to be either-or.
You’re doing the best you can, and it’s more than enough for today. I’m proud of you
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A workplace is just for work, earn money and clock out. Colleagues can back stab u or 2 faced, u sure those ex colleagues dont have hidden agendas to always talk to u?
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hi @user1138
im not sure if my ex colleagues have any agendas behind it , and to be honest it dont matter anymore. it is just feel sucks when you are new to someplace and you do not get any support ..be it the work , or socially . you are being ignored . because we spend most of our time at the workplace other than home during the day ..thats when it gets so stress to deal with this kind of situation , tell me whats your take on this situation?
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Dear @user9771
Thank you for reaching out. I want to acknowledge that I think starting work at a new environment is one of the most stressful transitions a person can go through. It’s often underestimated, but it involves stepping into an unfamiliar environment, navigating unspoken norms, trying to build new relationships, and proving your value—all at the same time.
What you’re experiencing—feeling ignored, isolated, and emotionally disconnected—makes that transition even harder. In your previous workplace, it sounds like you had a sense of belonging. People gravitated toward you so you felt seen and valued. That connection was a protective factor for your mental health. I sense that it helped ground you.
Now, you’re in a space where that warmth is missing. You’ve made efforts—initiating conversations, trying to build rapport—but nothing has come back in a way that feels safe or affirming. And that absence of connection, it’s not just disappointing, it’s painful. And when you’re already anxious, that kind of emotional uncertainty can be demoralising and likely it hurts your self worth.
It is fully understandable that waking up each morning and anticipating this emotional disconnection is causing dread. You’re not imagining it, and you’re not being too sensitive. Your nervous system is simply reacting to a social environment that feels unsafe and unpredictable.
What’s missing for you right now is a basic human need: relational safety. To feel like you belong and that people care. Please know those needs are not weaknesses, they are wired into us as humans.You’re not asking for too much.
May I gently encourage you to focus on self-compassion and remind yourself that you are not failing. You are currently navigating a tough situation with grace and awareness.
Over time, do consider introducing small, low-pressure ways to slowly rebuild that sense of connection—perhaps through casual work-based interactions, or identifying just one person who feels approachable. But for now, it’s okay to just acknowledge the pain and let yourself feel it.
Please remember dear that your worth is not measured by how quickly people warm up to you. You are enough as you are. And this difficult chapter does not define your worth. Please hang in there. Keep at it and I recommend you also journal to reflect on your experiences in this journey. Reach out to your friends and family and the supportive community here whenever needed. 
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Dear @CaringBee
Thank you so much ! Yes , u’ve summed up everything that i ve been feeling right now . thats how i feel . it is very painful being neglected , and you’re feeling like no one is there for you . i’m literally on my own .i’m in the season of it is only me . and it feels unbearable . i’m sorry that maybe i am acting a bit of a clingy child right now -wanting attention and care so much ..and i am shocked myself that i’ve been feeling this way . i’ve been journaling ever since i’m feeling like this , and it helps a bit, i think . i will do ANYTHING to make me feel better about myself , about everything . thank you so much . you dont know how much your words help me dealing with this emotion right now .
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