Family or Work

Question: would you rather earn more money but have lesser time with your family and kids OR earn lesser but have more time with family and kids?

Earning more money:

  1. Lesser time with family and kids (miss out their childhood)
  2. More workload
  3. Unstable working hours (need to work after working hours or even weekends)

Earning lesser money:

  1. More time with family and kids (get to be with kids and get involved in their growth)
  2. Lesser workload
  3. Stable 9-5 working hour
1 Like

Hi @anonymous307

Thanks for coming on to this platform to share your thoughts with us! It sounds like you are having trouble deciding what you want for yourself and your family. It is never easy when you have to decide between both because they are so important and having children involves a huge change within the family.

From your sharing, it sounds like you have an answer to your question and are aware of what you want for yourself. I am not sure if you are seeking for an answer or validation towards your preferred choice. If you are still seeking an answer, perhaps it can be helpful to consider the following suggestions !

  1. Have a discussion with your spouse/family member. It can be helpful to discuss any financial concerns and caregiving arrangement for the children. If you are earning less money, would it still be able to provide the necessary needs and wants?
  2. Calculate your finances. To make a more informed decision, list down your expenses and maybe it can give you a clearer picture of how much you need for the family’s finances. You can use past 3-6 months of expenses as reference.
  3. Your mental wellbeing matters. Think about what arrangement is most helpful for you now. Taking care of children while working is not easy and sometimes tiring. If you think you might feel overwhelmed with more workload or feeling guilty for not being there for your children, maybe the 2nd choice is more helpful. If you think that you can handle the workload and still be able to find time for your children, that could boost your reasons for choosing option 1. What matters most is your mental wellbeing, because you would not be able to juggle both work and family if you are constantly feeling stressed or down.
  4. Consider your priorities. Maybe you can take some time to think about what is most important to you at the moment. There is no right and wrong when it comes to identifying your priorities. Everyone has different priorities and you may get different answers when you talk to different people, thus it could be confusing for you. To help you understand yourself better, ask yourself “What do I want for myself”, “What is important for me”, “What would I do if I am not concerned about other’s opinions”?
  5. Being open to changes. Know that things will change and you can always switch to another option if it does not work out. It does not mean that if you choose option 1 or 2, you must always stay with that option. You can always change if you find that it is not working well.

I hope this is helpful for you and you find your answer! Do take care!

1 Like

@anonymous307 This is a fascinating and complex question. I suppose it’s crucial to evaluate what matters most to you at this stage in your life. For some, career growth and financial stability might be a priority, while for others, family time and personal well-being take precedence.

If you have children, you might find that your priorities shift towards spending more quality time with them, as being involved in their growth and development can be incredibly rewarding. A higher-paying job with unstable hours could still offer quality family time if managed well. Conversely, a 9-5 job that pays less might provide a balanced routine but could also lead to financial stress if it doesn’t meet your needs.

Consider what will bring long-term satisfaction and sustainability to your life! Sometimes, the quality of time spent with family can outweigh the quantity. Effective time management and prioritising meaningful activities during available hours can make a significant difference. Think about the future as well. As children grow, their needs change. You might find that during certain periods, having a stable and flexible job becomes more important.

Ultimately, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Reflect on what will bring you fulfilment and balance in both your professional and personal life.

I’m sure you’ll be able to make a decision that feels right for you!


Probably more time with family and kids since they only grow up once. You can still earn more money when they’re older. But I guess it’s not as simple as this because there are many assumptions eg your life stage, how many kids you have, how flexible your workplace is.

It also doesn’t have to be either of these options - one can always strive for earn more money but still have more time with family and kids haha