Ive always been very introverted, but recently i have been actively trying to go out of my way to talk to people at university and try and make friends. Unfortunately after nearly half an year of these efforts i haven’t seen any positive results in the terms of close friends or even finding a romantic partner.
It’s left me feeling quite isolated and lonely. Please help.
i can be friends with u
Hi @Oberron
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I laud you for taking the initiative to step out of your comfort zone and try to connect with others! It takes a lot of courage to do that.
Firstly, please acknowledge that making friends and finding a romantic partner can take time, and it’s not uncommon for it to take longer than expected. It’s great that you’ve been consistent in your efforts, and I’d like to offer some suggestions to help you refine your approach:
Quality over Quantity
Instead of trying to talk to as many people as possible, focus on having meaningful conversations with a few individuals. This can help you build deeper connections and increase the chances of forming close friendships.
Shared Interests
Join clubs, groups, or attend events related to your hobbies or interests. This can be a great way to meet like-minded people, and you’ll already have a common topic to talk about.
Be Patient and Kind to Yourself
Remember that making friends and finding a romantic partner is not a competition or a deadline. Focus on enjoying the process, and don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t happen immediately.
Reflect on Your Approach
Consider seeking feedback from others or reflecting on your own behavior. Ask yourself:
Expand Your Social Circle
Try to connect with people outside of university, such as through volunteering, CCAs, clubs, or sports teams. This can help you meet new people and potentially find friends who share similar interests.
Celebrate Small Wins
Acknowledge and celebrate the small successes you’ve had, like striking up a conversation with someone new or attending a social event. This can help you stay motivated and encouraged.
Remember, building relationships takes time, effort, and patience. You’re not alone in this, and many people have been in your shoes before.
Keep being your wonderful self, and don’t give up on putting yourself out there. You got this!
i feel you!! im introverted as well and i find it difficult to make new friends too. but u mentioned that you’ve been actively going out of your comfort zone and talking to people, which i think is so brave of you! seems like things hasn’t worked out for you yet, but pls dont be disheartened. friendships can take a long time to solidify, and its even harder in uni because its difficult to meet each other consistently due to different schedules. one tip i have is to just focus on 1 friend at a time! quality over quantity, put your time and effort into communicating with just 1 person you think you connect well with, and with time, im sure that person will be able to appreciate and reciprocate your effort.
Hello OP, I understand how you’re feeling!
When I first started university during the COVID era, I was so used to being surrounded by friends, especially since in secondary school and polytechnic, making friends felt easier due to the close proximity and shared ■■■■■■■■ Friendships came naturally without me having to step out of my comfort zone too much. So, when I entered university, I felt extremely lonely and was also struggling with my academics at the same time (almost dropped out LOOOL)
What helped me back then was a change in mindset. I reminded myself that making close friends in university can be a bit challenging because we often have different ■■■■■■■ and schedules. I also told myself that this might be a time for me to become more independent and learn to be okay without always having friends around. It was also an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and make an effort to connect with others.
Some of the suggestions in the comments are helpful too, like joining CCAs (co-curricular activities) or making friends in hall if you stay on campus. Don’t worry too much! You’re just adjusting, and over the course of 3 or 4 years, you’ll definitely make a few friends here and there!