I am feeling very lonely but it was not always like this. I had a friend group and i was getting along well with my classmates. but all of a sudden i feel like my friends are ignoring me and my messages, i feel like they created a separate groupchat without me or sth and i feel very left out. as such i feel like dropping out and just start to work and save up to go to a private institution that I actually want to go to. But i also feel like i may be overthinking and i shd just keep my head down and study hard and graduate. but school just started last month and i already cant take it, what should i do?
Hello @user2014
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and struggle with us. It definitely can feel tough and challenging when you feel left out. Wonder if you’re opened to have a chat with your friends or someone that you trust most in the friend’s group.
Curious to know also if you are pursuing something that you enjoy/ like, what are your thoughts about what you are currently studying.
I would like to say that it’s okay to question your path, but don’t rush big decisions based only on how things feel right now. However wanted to assure you too that your thoughts and feelings are valid.
Not sure if you also have any trusted figure you can share your concerns with- maybe even approach your school’s counsellor who can help navigate with you these feelings etc. You deserve support- you don’t have to do this on your own.
I hope things gets better for you. Take care! 
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Have u tried cca? Dropping out is quite extreme
Hello @user2014! Thank you for taking the courage to share your experience and feelings with us! That sounds heartbreaking. No one deserves to go through that. Have you asked them why? It’s okay to have mixed feelings about this. You are going through a lot, and your thoughts or mind is in a mess too. Take things slowly and discuss this with someone, as it’s a big decision. Also, as you’ve just started last month, you still have plenty of chance to meet more people 
. Don’t give up! However, if things get too overwhelming, talk to someone ! At the end of the day, your mental health is very important.
Hi @user2014,
I hear you, and I know how isolating this must feel. It’s really tough when you suddenly feel left out, especially when things were going well before. That shift—going from being surrounded by friends to questioning your place—can be painful and confusing. It makes sense that you’d be considering big changes because feeling excluded can make everything else, including school, seem less important. But before making any decisions, it’s important to give yourself space to process these feelings, rather than letting them push you into immediate action.
While your concerns are completely valid, it’s also possible that emotions are amplifying your worst fears. When we feel disconnected, our minds sometimes fill in the blanks in ways that reinforce those feelings—like assuming there’s a separate group chat or that others are intentionally ignoring you. This might be true, but it could also be a misunderstanding, or a shift in dynamics that isn’t meant to exclude you. Before making any drastic choices, try to gather some clarity. Maybe check in with a friend individually or observe whether there are other explanations for their behavior.
If your friendships don’t feel as strong as before, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that dropping out is the only option. Sometimes, early university life comes with adjustments, and people settle into different social circles. It hurts, but new connections can form too. Take some time to consider whether changing institutions is truly what you want or if it’s an emotional response to feeling sidelined. If you’re struggling, opening up to someone—a trusted friend, a mentor, or even a counsellor—could help. No matter what, you’re worth being heard, and this situation doesn’t define your future.
Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline
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Dear @user2014 ,
I hear your stuggles, and i hope that this platform will provide you with strength and hope. We’re all here to listen and help!
It can be really isolating when we are alienated. But you’re not alone. Im sure most of us have gone through friendship problems before, myself included. School is more than just the friends you meet in class! Have u considered exploring CCAs or clubs and societies? You’ll never know until you try! Who knows, you might meet really good friends there too. Outside of school, you can also try volunteering with youth corps or any organisation of your choice. There’s many ways to meet new people who you might click with!
Importantly, i hope you know that the way others treat you do NOT define you. You are more than other people’s perceptions of you. Domt stop being youself. I believe you’ll find true friends one day that will bring value into your life.
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Hey, thanks for sharing what you’re going through. It really sucks to feel left out, especially when things seemed fine not too long ago. That sudden shift can be so confusing and painful—like you’re standing in the same place, but everything around you changed without warning.
I actually went through something similar too. My closest group of friends made group chats without me, and it hit me hard. I felt invisible. But with time, two things really helped me heal: first, I started focusing on building individual friendships instead of trying to stay part of a friend “group.” I asked myself—what was I really looking for? Belonging? Connection? Once I understood that, I realised there were so many other ways and people who could meet those needs.
Second, I turned inward and focused on myself—figuring out my values and aligning my life with them. When I did that, the hurt from those lost friendships started to sting less. It’s not your loss—it’s theirs. And it might not feel like it now, but this could be the start of something new and even better. It’s a painful chapter, but it also creates space for new people to come into your life—people who might vibe more deeply with who you truly are.
If things feel too overwhelming, you don’t have to carry all of this alone. It might help to chat with someone through the Ask-a-Therapist service or check out the Self-Care Lounge on the platform. You matter, and your feelings are valid 
Here for you.
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hellooo, i had a sport cca that i really really liked for a long time back in sec sch and so i recently started attending the same cca in poly, but after a few sessions i realised that it was so much more different as compared to what i was used to, but i thought that i could just put my head down and continue since this sport was my passion. however just last session the coach scolded me for misunderstandings and now im on her blacklist, so that has added to my demotivation when it comes to school. Moreover commute has been really tiring for me since i live far away, and i often question myself why i choose to travel 3 hours daily (1.5 hr to and back each) just to go for classes that i dont enjoy. i feel that my classes are boring and i dont enjoy attending them, also because my classmates like to crack jokes , sit in class and go on break together and i feel left out once again. I dont think i can actually drop out but i just want to be able to explore that option and i wanted to see if it’d better suit me but as of now im just feeling very lost in life, like i dont know what i want to do, and this anxiety and depression im experiencing is not helping me at all:(( ive tried talking to my family about this and they have been supportive of me by trying to motivate me, but im not sure its enough since ill have to spend at least the rest of the acad year with my classmates. ive also approached my teacher for advice and she told me to do whats best for me, but how would i even know that?? im just very unmotivated to go to school and i spend every waking minute in school trying not to cry
yea i have, but it wasnt as fun as i anticipated.
i dont think ill actually drop out but whenever i mention it (as a joke) to my friends, they tell me to go ahead and it makes me feel like they actually want to get rid of me
noo i havent confronted them because i dislike confrontation. while i understand it could probably clear the air but ive had bad experiences with confrontation, ive been called attention seeking or arrogant in the past, so i really want to steer clear of any possible drama 
hii your words mean a lot to me tqqq, ive tried joining CCAs and my main one was okay as the people there have been friendly with me but it has been a bit boring as compared to what i was used to in sec sch, and recently i got on the coaches bad side for the wrong reasons 
while i have other ccas theyre low commitment or havent started yet so making friends in other ccas have been hard. and i really do want to join more communities to try my luck but adjusting to school has already been difficult on my stress levels and i also have limited time for all my needs
regarding your methods, i have 22 classmates, 23 including me, and in my initial friendgroup there were 5 of us, and i realised that all of them seemed to have buddied up and i feel like the odd one out, like the 4 girls from my friendgroup actually buddied up and started to ignore my messages and initiatives and the other classmates ignore me too. group work has been a pain as im always alone and the teacher has to assign me into a group and when students pick their own groups, no one chooses me first and i cant choose anyone either because they avoid me. as such focusing on individual friendships has been unsuccessful since they always come in pairs. im currently trying to just focus on myself and study hard but the anxiety i feel like everyones judging me for being a loner is becoming more and more unbearable, i just sit in class doing breathing exercises to try not to cry while not even paying attention in class anymore
Hey @user2014
It sounds like there are many factors that is causing you stress. Am wondering if you would be able to talk to someone in school about your thoughts and feelings?
no not really, i tried to bring it up to a friend but i was interrupted by others and i hadnt gotten an opportunity since then. even today as i sat in class waiting the 4 of them came in together with some other classmates and sat away from me, and when i tried to make small talk with other classmates they brushed me off, im really not sure if its in my head anymore or they actually just magically started to dislike me.
i also just booked an appointment with the school counsellor but its 4 days later and im not sure i can handle coming to school with such a bad head space, even when i was on the way to school i already started to feel nausea like i needed to throw up
breathe breathe, lets take one step at a time, one day at a time! you’re alr making a great move forward by making an appt with the school counsellor! each day passing will be one day closer to getting your counsellor’s support! 
youve tried bringing this up to a friend but got interrupted, that must feel quite discouraging >< so im here to give you support to try again okie! the interruption is a fluke, dont let that stop you from trying again!! 
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Hi @user2014
Thank you for sharing this. It’s completely understandable to feel lonely and hurt when friends suddenly pull away. However, before assuming the worst, consider if there’s a chance they’re just busy or if a simple conversation could clear the air. If they’re intentionally excluding you, though, remind yourself that their actions reflect on them, and not your worth.
Think carefully before making a big decision like dropping out. Is leaving truly the best solution, or is it a reaction to temporary pain? If you stay, focus on your goals, explore new connections, and remember school won’t last forever. If you go, make sure it’s for a positive step forward (like to attend your dream institution), not just to escape.
You deserve friendships that make you feel valued. If this group isn’t giving you that, try branching out to other people or communities might be a better fit. And whatever you choose, prioritize your well-being. This phase is tough, but it doesn’t define your future. You’re stronger than you think. Hang in there! 
- miloluvr
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