Hello all, thank you for your kind words and advice. Its been almost a week and so much has changed. I confided in my teachers and course head about this matter and they told me that theyll do their best to help. One such way theyve been trying is to make us sit in groups in the classrooms but it has been failing since I just end up sitting alone anyways and people only sit with me if they have no choice and even so, they purposely sit near to their friends so they they can still talk to each other, and i feel even more pathetic. Ive also told my parents about this matter and they suggested that if nothing seems to improve, that i should withdraw and take a gap year to do other things and possibly reapply next year or apply to another school. But theyve also told me that I could try to just put my head down and study so hard until people have no choice but to approach me for help. Honestly im just feeling so lost, I dont know what i want to do. While taking a gap year sounds amazing to me as ive always wanted to explore more options and go work to save money to pay for my education, I’m scared that I may not be able to continue my education if i tried to reapply back to my poly (plus i JUST bought a new laptop 
) On the other hand, if i choose to continue poly life i feel like id be very miserable since in the first month alone im already feeling depressed and ive developed anxiety issues, and im worried that because of my mental state ill start doing badly in class (which has already started) and ill get “kicked out”. Like ive mentioned before im going to see a counsellor this afternoon, but i dont even know what i want to hear from her. Idk anymore im just feeling so lost
Just tell the counsellor wat u told us. You have to work on ur conversational n befriending skills too. Ask ai or reddit for tips
Hi user2014, thank you for sharing an update on your situation.
I’m sorry to hear that there hasn’t been much progress in reconnecting with your friends. Would you consider taking a small-step approach? Perhaps reaching out to one of the closer friends in the group for a casual catch-up over dessert, tea, or coffee before or after class?
Sometimes, simply asking for feedback can provide clarity and help you better understand the situation, rather than being stuck in assumptions that may not be accurate. It also gives you a chance to express your thoughts as well and what may feel like a big issue might turn out to be a small misunderstanding.
Life will always come with challenges, and while taking a break is sometimes necessary, ask yourself, how often can you walk away before it holds you back from growing?
At your age, friendships can feel especially important and fragile at the same time because it’s a sensitive time of growth and self-discovery journey. Remember, nobody is perfect. The fact that you’re reflecting on your experience shows maturity and knowing our flaws is the first step toward becoming a better version of ourselves.
Hope your session with your school counsellor went well today.
Remember, it’s a positive step to talk things through, and I hope it brought you some clarity or comfort.
P.S. When I’m feeling down, I try to dress up a little and make myself look more put-together, it helps boost my confidence. Staying in that gloomy mood can sometimes make things feel even worse. Looking good on the outside can be a small but powerful first step toward feeling better on the inside. It’s a way of showing yourself some self-respect and along the way, mutual respect from others might follow too. 
Thanks for sharing the update @user2014 
while you may not feel this way right now cos you’re deep amidst the challenges, you doing what you’re doing now is alr making the best of your situation and you’re resilient and that itself is so so so commendable!!! I really wanna emphasise that so you know you’re alr doing great (especially when I know you defo don’t feel so right now). It does sound like you’re at a bit of a crossroads, having to make difficult decisions >< sometimes I think we just have to choose which kind of hard we prefer. Either continuing or dropping out, I think it will work out if it is what you think is best for you!!! Can give yourself more time to consider and to adapt! Entering a new environment really takes time for each of us to adjust, the process often is really hard to bear but you’ll learn a lot about yourself 
taking a gap year can also turn out well when you take the time to try new things and learn more about yourself similarly!!! Jiayou 
hey @user2014, thank you for sharing this. i hear how heavy & overwhelming everything’s been, and i’m really sorry that things still feel so lonely despite all your efforts to seek help. that must be awfully frustrating and disheartening. 
i just want to say: i really, really empathise with what you’re going through. i went through sth similar myself, and reading your post brought back such a vivid memory of sitting alone in the top row of the lecture hall while the rest of the class laughed and chatted in the rows below. i remember how small and judged i felt, and how hard i tried to pretend it didn’t bother me when it actually hurt SO much. so please know that when you talk about sitting alone and feeling pathetic… i feel you. and you’re not pathetic at all. you’re just trying to get through sth really difficult, and you’re doing it with a lot more strength than you realise.
also, you’ve been incredibly brave by telling your teachers, course head, parents, and showing up for counselling appointments. it shows how much strength you have, and i think that’s VERY commendable 
. even though the situation hasn’t improved yet, that effort matters, and i’m so proud of you for that.
i hear you when you say both paths feel hard. on one hand, taking a gap year feels freeing & exciting, but it also comes with worries about the future. on the other hand, staying feels like you’re forcing yourself through sth that’s already affecting your mental health. honestly, there’s no shame in not knowing what you want right now. it’s okay to take things one small step at a time. and no matter what you decide – gap year, staying in poly, changing course later – your worth doesn’t change.
please remember: you won’t feel like this forever. i know it might sound hard to believe rn, but you will find your people one day. people who cherish you, make space for you, who sit beside you, not because they have to but because they want to. i didn’t believe it back then either, but slowly things did shift, and they will for you too. be gentle with yourself, okay? you’re doing great 
I hope you can fight on. There is no reason for you to suffer because of other peoples rejection.
Well…during my secondary school days, school bullying is fairly common. And the victim is often punished together with the bully. And back in my days, there is 37 people in my class, and only 1/3 is female. And only half of them is chinese. And back than, i only have 3 friends that i get along well. But when progess to sec 3, all 3 of them was put into another class. so i ended up being alone, and i dropped off 3 months later. After i was scolded and punish together with a group of boys who skip art class and go to different classroom to steal thing, while i skip art class to stay back to catch up on homework after i didnt turn in for class for 3 weeks. I skip art because to me its a useless knowledge compare to english.
But still…20 yrs down the road, as a adult not, my biggest regret is to drop out of school because of some “jerks”. I really feel like i double victim myself.
So…do consider deeply that weather or not friends are more important or your future is more important.
And dont feel lonely because your classroom in school dont wish to make friends with you. Nowadays there are so many mental health activity centres for youths around which you can join and try to make new friends there.
Dont ruin your life because someone around you dont like you. As you will be giving them what they wanted. You should instead stick around them like a pest and make them drop out instead.
Hello! @user2014 thank you for sharing about what’s going on in your life now. Reading your post really struck a chord with me, especially the part where you said you felt more pathetic after the group sitting. I think this is a very common feeling to have when we feel rejected from our peers so I want to just take a second and let you know that whatever youre feeling is valid but it is not always a “fact” that you are! feeling “pathetic” does not mean that you are “pathetic”. you are just dealing with a lot right now so remember to give yourself some self compassion once in awhile 
although it must feel very discouraging to feel like your efforts did not work out but I just want to say that the fact that you made the effort to do something about the situation is very admirable and i hope you can see that too! its just a tough situation and all the feelings of loneliness and frustration, although its very painful, are valid and understandable why you feel that way.
I do wonder if it is possible to find friends outside of your classrooms. Who are the current people who you feel comfortable being around? What are some communities you want to join out of interests? Maybe these are some things you can consider? Joining communities can bring you to people who may be of a similar vibe / have similar interests with you! Sometimes people around us may not be a good fit for us but that just means we can consider exploring groups outside for better fits. It’s always nice to make friends and have some support along the way!
As for whether you should drop out or continue studying in poly, I would say that both are with pros and cons. At the end of the day, it is seeing what you prioritise and if the benefits of one choice can outweigh the loss of the other to you. It must be scary having to deal with so much uncertainty for both options but as long as you mentally commit to it and trust in the process and yourself, you may be able to turn either option into the right one. It must be hard though, im getting jitters on your behalf HAHA but im also cheering you on!
hope your counselling session helped you in this situation too hahaha
You open to be frens and chat? But im not in poly tho, already graduated