i feel like whenever i make new friends, it always starts out fun and interesting, and that they’re really nice to talk to, especially since they’re enthusiastic in their replies. after a while, the friendship just dies down and we dont talk that often anymore. for friends who are in the same class as me, we do get more chances to interact in school, but it feels not very genuine, and that we only talk to one another because we dont have a choice but to stick together.
this feeling wasn’t that bad until i got into a relationship, and now i dont talk to anyone but my partner. but i feel like when it comes to academics, i have no one to turn to and no support system, i cant even tell my partner. i usually have good grades, but im always extremely afraid that i failed the exam, and my partner has told me that this makes him annoyed because i say im going to fail but i end up scoring pretty well.
thing is, right now i screwed up one of my prelim papers, and because im applying to overseas, im feeling extremely stressed out and i really need to do well for the last paper ive yet to receive. i went home early because im really drained and i just spent the journey home crying and trying to calm myself down, but my partner is still in school. i dont know who to talk to and he didnt reply my messages so im really lost and i just wanted to get this off my chest i guess. i dont even feel like going to school tomorrow and i cant bring myself to study despite As being less than a month away. any advice is welcome im so lost as to what i need to do to make people want to talk to me
Hello @user1395! Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling! I can see that you’re having difficulties connecting with others and it feels like you have a lot on your shoulders that you’re overwhelmed. I can relate a little to the friendship portion, however, I would like to let you know that the problem doesn’t necessarily lie in anyone. Friendships shift over time and it is distressing when it appears that the connection has faded and you are left alone. But I think people might be busy especially since I believe you’re taking your As soon and thus people might be busy as well and not because they want to distance themselves away from you. Additionally, perhaps in different classes, they might want to contact their classmates instead because of different classes have different pace or etc.?
About your partner, perhaps is a “jealousy” or a human reaction like how people could say they didn’t study and end up scoring well. Perhaps you can sit down and talk with him that things don’t come as easy as he thinks but remember to stay calm. I feel that things are overwhelming for you right now with your prelim papers etc. I would advise you to focus on your other paper and learn from your mistakes. I understand the process is difficult and rocky but as you said, As are coming up and you’re close to the end of it so right now is to focus and try your best to get the best grade you can
To summarise,
Your friends might be busy studying too. The fault doesn’t lie in you.
Your partner, sit down and explain to him things don’t come easy (although u aced it most of the time it comes with hard work too)
Focus on your A level that is coming up and learn from the mistakes you made during your prelims.
Talk to someone if you need to get things off your chest. If you’re unable to find someone, you can rant or spill it here (if you’re comfortable)
All the best! You’re super close to the finishing line! You finished PSLE and Olevel? One last major exam
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through such a tough time. It sounds like you’re feeling quite isolated and stressed out, especially with the pressure of academics and applying overseas. It’s completely normal to feel this way, and it’s important to know that you’re not alone.
First of all, it’s great that you’re reaching out for support. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, and it’s important to talk about it. It’s also okay to feel disconnected from your friends and to have difficulties in maintaining those relationships. Friendships can be challenging, and it’s okay to feel like you’re struggling in that area.
Regarding your relationship, it’s important to have open and honest communication with your partner. It might be helpful to explain to your partner how you’re feeling and why you react the way you do. Having a discussion about it could help improve your communication.
As for your academic stress, it’s important to seek support from your teachers, school counselor, or even a trusted family member. Having a support system in place can make a significant difference.
Additionally, consider seeking out study groups or academic resources to help you prepare for your exams. It’s okay to ask for help, and reaching out to others for support can make a big difference. Remember, it’s okay to take a break when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Self-care is important, and it’s okay to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Maybe take some time to relax and clear your mind before tackling your studies again.
Lastly, making people want to talk to you isn’t about changing yourself to fit their expectations. It’s about finding people who appreciate you for who you are. It’s okay if some friendships naturally fade away; it just means that those people weren’t the right fit for you. You’re not alone in feeling lost, and it’s okay to ask for help.
Hey @user1395 I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. It sounds like you’re carrying a lot on your shoulders right now, between your friendships, relationship, and academics. First, please know that it’s totally normal for friendships to come and go as it is, especially when life gets busy, and sometimes it can feel like connections fade, but it doesn’t mean you’re not valuable or interesting. Sometimes people get caught up in their own lives, but it doesn’t reflect on your worth as a friend, so don’t put the blame on yourself.
Regarding your studies, the pressure you’re feeling is real, and it’s okay to acknowledge that you’re not at your best right now…Taking a breather and being kind to yourself can actually help. What I would usually do when I feel overwhelmed or demotivated is to try to break down what I need to do into smaller steps—focus on one thing at a time, so you can try that out too. And it’s okay to reach out for help, even if it’s just someone to listen.
Some opinion from someone who had a hard time making friends was that I tried to expose myself to different interests (e.g., Kpop, Anime, Pop music etc) so that I could have relevant topics to start up with new people. Fortunately I like those interests as well and hope to find people that match my personality (not easy…).
You’re almost thereee, we can already see the end of exams yay! One quote I bring with me and hope it can help you too is that “everything will pass eventually” and that’s how I persist through. All the best and good luck!
im so lost as to what i need to do to make people want to talk to me
! Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling! I can see that you’re having difficulties connecting with others and it feels like you have a lot on your shoulders that you’re overwhelmed. I can relate a little to the friendship portion, however, I would like to let you know that the problem doesn’t necessarily lie in anyone. Friendships shift over time and it is distressing when it appears that the connection has faded and you are left alone. But I think people might be busy especially since I believe you’re taking your As soon and thus people might be busy as well and not because they want to distance themselves away from you. Additionally, perhaps in different classes, they might want to contact their classmates instead because of different classes have different pace or etc.?
