Finding it hard to enjoy things like I used to

I seem to have lost interest in a lot of the things that I used to like, like playing games (I lose interest super fast), cooking, and reading.

Somehow, nowadays I feel like I just want to lie down in the dark. I know I shouldn’t. I know I should go out and “touch grass”, but it’s hard.

I’m lucky my job allows me to WFH, because I’d have lost the job long ago if I couldn’t do that. Some days I can’t even get myself to get out of bed. Then I feel extremely guilty because I know I should be working, but I can’t.

Is this normal? Is this something everyone goes through? My mum tells me I just need to “grow up”. My dad doesn’t talk about it at all? :man_shrugging: I dunno, I feel like what’s the point of life if it’s just gonna be wake, work, eat, work, eat, sleep, and repeat.

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Hi @Relay7707, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. It’s important to acknowledge that what you’re experiencing may be indicative of mental health challenges, and it’s not uncommon. Many people go through periods of low motivation, disinterest, or feelings of guilt. It’s crucial to prioritize your mental well-being. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional to discuss your feelings and receive personalized guidance. You don’t have to face this alone, and seeking support is a courageous step towards well-being. It’s not about “growing up” but rather understanding and addressing your mental health needs. Remember, you’re not alone in feeling this way, and there is support to help you find meaning and joy in life again. :slight_smile:


Hello @Relay7707,

First off, I’d like to commend you on coming on to share about your experience - especially to reach out when you’re having low mood, guilt and feeling hopeless… :people_hugging: It must’ve been tough to go through it and not finding joy in activities or seeking connection with others.

Secondly, what you’re experiencing is valid given your situation; these are typical human emotions when one’s coping seem to be unable to cope from being overwhelmed. If we look at your emotions as a messenger - I wonder what is it trying to let you know? Have you experienced this before? Have you noticed if it’s brought about by something? Let’s try to see what’s behind those emotions like what kind of thoughts are driving them, is there a need not being met, was there something that was taken away from you? :thinking:

In the meantime, to help with the distress perhaps you can try out the below activities:
• Being mindful
• Being kind to yourself
• Shifting (to a more helpful) perspective
It would be helpful to be able to get support from others, especially from those close to you but your expectations doesn’t seem to match up with the support from your parents. I wonder if it’ll help if you’re able to feel heard and understood in order to truly get the support that is unique to you and your situation. At the same time, your experience of life (“wake, work, eat, work, eat, sleep, and repeat”) perhaps don’t match up to what you value like immersing yourself in reading/games and cooking (perhaps creating/crafting something for yourself and/or others?). Here is an opportunity where you can take stock of your values and to see what’s really important to you in life - what do you think are your values? Perhaps you can note them down and give them some thought. I find that values can kinda be a guide to help us live a life that is true to who we ARE and want to BE.

Also, if you feel that it’s still difficult to cope and you’re feeling overwhelmed, you can seek out support in a professional and non-judgmental manner from:

Remember that you deserve and can get the support you need. I’m willing to listen and I hope to hear from you soon. Until then, take care! :slightly_smiling_face:

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Hi @Relay7707

Thank you for sharing, I’m not a professional but I would encourage you to speak to a professional like a Counsellor, coach or therapist if this is something that you feel has been bothering and affecting you.

Seeking professional help doesn’t mean that that there is something necessarily wrong with you, it could be that you need some advice, coaching and seeking another perspective to your issues. You could explore your feelings and co create solutions to your issues (in your case, trying to cope with lost of interest etc).

I would say it’s normal to want to find something more than just work, eat, sleep repeat. It could mean that you’re just trying to find something that excites you or something you can look forward to and I hope you do find it!

Take care!


Agreed with @Marshmallow.youghurt seeking a professional has helped me with organising my thoughts and guidance when I was really overwhelmed by school work !

Also just curious @Relay7707 do you enjoy the kind of work you are doing ?

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Were there any triggering events that led to this? I think it’s normal to have periods of low motivation but if it persists for too long then maybe you’ll need professional help.

Hi! Thank you for the reply. No, not really. It’s just something that gradually came on. I don’t remember a specific time that something happened to cause this.

I just did things less and less, and one day I realised I wasn’t doing those things anymore, or I wasn’t enjoying them and was just “going through the motions”.

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Not particularly. It just pays decently, and I happen to be quite good at it haha. Seems like I spent my whole life learning it because I thought it would be interesting, and I really enjoyed it when I was younger.

When it became a job, it’s not that fun anymore. I think that’s normal though. I don’t know any people who actually enjoy their job, so I think it’s the norm.

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Was reflecting about what @BKT said that might be helpful for you, @Relay7707.

How do you feel about this change? Do you want to be able to enjoy the things you used to like or do you actually feel okay about this? You talked about how you should “go out and touch grass” - is that something you want or is that more like a society standard that you feel compelled to follow?

I think it’s perfectly fine to move on with life at your own pace. You seem to have a comfortable job that can feed you so maybe there’s no actual rush to find something you enjoy. Can take your time to find a next hobby that is sustainable haha

I want to be able to enjoy the things I used to like. I feel like nothing really brings me any joy anymore.

When I mention the touch grass thing, it’s because I tend to sit around in my room and do nothing, just staring into the darkness. I know I should go out and “touch grass” which I take to mean “get some fresh air” or see some people, I don’t know. It’s just hard, like I can’t get my body to obey me.

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Yeah I understand what you mean. I also saw your other thread on D&D but unfortunately I don’t play it haha.

If what you’d want is to get out, maybe can do small steps. Might sound a bit lame but I think it may help. Try sitting nearer to the door and just let the sunlight hit you for a bit. Then slowly move on to stepping outside the door. Then try just going downstairs. Maybe once you get the hang of it, you’ll find it easier to actually go out and meet people to do things together.

Thanks for the advice!

It really depends on the day, sometimes, I can happily go out, but other days, it’s really difficult. Sometimes I wanna go to the mall nearby to get something to eat, but then I somehow convince myself that “I don’t really need it” and just don’t eat.

It’s kind of good that I feel bad about ditching meetings and things, so I’ll really REALLY force myself out of the house if I have one at the office, even if I feel like crap.

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