sorry if my english isnt good.
hi. im a 21 yo male , who have had a very tough childhood , so much trauma and painful memories , ive been under a lot of stress for almost all my life.
what bothers me today is , everytime something happens i get so anxious that i get stomach ache and light headed , whenever something happens i cant sleep anymore.
for example : i live in poor neighbor hood and lots of things happen around here.
i have a neighbor who has a drug addict son and they kicked him out of the house, and then went on a trip and left the addict boy outside the house , now he keeps bothering us with asking us to open the door for him and makes a lot of noises , that makes my family upset and angery , and that makes me extremely scared and anxious , im afraid something might happen , im always like this not just in this case , my life is a living hell i beg you to tell me what to do fix my self im dying inside with this amount of pressure on me , and no i cant move to another place we cant afford that
Hello @Cadusi! It’s a really big load that you have been carrying for so long. Your body’s reaction, which includes worry, insomnia, and stomachaches, is quite reasonable. Your nervous system becomes locked in survival mode after experiencing a lot of stress; you are always on high alert and anticipating disaster. You are not to blame for it. Your body and mind are only attempting to defend you.
Just wondering if it’s possible to raise the issue to your MP?
Hi cadusi, you’re in such a challenging situation. Home is a place you want to feel safe and comfortable, but there is a lot going on. I hear that there’s an unstable neighbourhood, and with your neighbour’s situation it affects not just the sounds outside your home, but your family’s responses in the home as well. I empathise and hear how that can create feelings of anxiety.
Anxiety and its bodily sensations can feel overwhelming and uncomfortable. As big and overwhelming as they are, anxiety is temporary and each episode will come to pass. Some things that might help is having a routine or plan in place to help you feel safe when the anxiety hits. What have been some things that you have done when these feelings hit that have been helpful? What are some spaces at home (or near home) that you feel safe in?
In the meantime, these are some resources that might be helpful:
The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise is something that we can do to help calm ourselves in moments of intense anxiety. A video about the exercise is here:
There are also free apps that have breathing exercises, like Calm and Headspace. I know breathing can be the last thing on a lot of our minds when anxiety hits. But when we breathe (and most importantly, for the full duration of the exercise) it helps our body feel safer and may reduce the uncomfortable sensations of anxiety.
Hi @cadusi,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing how you’ve been feeling. I can sense just how overwhelming and painful this constant anxiety and stress are for you. It sounds like you’ve been under a lot of pressure for a long time, with everything around you seeming unstable and out of control. I want to acknowledge that your feelings of fear, helplessness, and being trapped are real, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling like you have no way out.
You mentioned that you are living in a difficult situation where things outside your control are causing you significant distress, such as the noise and disruptive behaviour from your neighbour and the strain that it places on your family. This external chaos can feel like an emotional burden that never lets up, and it makes sense that it’s leading to anxiety and physical symptoms like stomach aches and lightheadedness. It sounds like you’re constantly in a state of alert, trying to anticipate what might go wrong next, and that can be incredibly draining.
I hear that you feel like you can’t escape this and that you’re stuck in a situation where it feels like you have no control. That sense of being trapped can add to the emotional weight of everything. It’s clear that you’ve been doing your best to manage a lot on your own, and that effort is commendable. But it’s also important to give yourself some space to acknowledge how tough it is right now and to not carry the burden by yourself.
You deserve to feel supported, and you don’t have to face this alone. Is there anyone, maybe a trusted friend or someone in your community, who you feel comfortable talking to about what you’re going through? It could be helpful to have someone listen without judgement and help you feel less isolated in this situation.
At the same time, I’d suggest taking small steps to regain some sense of control over your environment. Since moving isn’t an option right now, can you think of any ways to create a sense of personal space or safety in your current living situation? Sometimes setting boundaries with others or finding a small area where you can focus on yourself might help you feel more grounded.
It’s also important to know that there are resources out there that can offer you some help. Have you considered reaching out to a counsellor or support group? Therapy could provide you with tools to manage the anxiety and pressure you’re feeling. Additionally, there are local community resources or helplines that can assist you with dealing with difficult living situations.
Above all, know that you’re doing your best in a really challenging situation. Every small step you take to address this anxiety is progress. It’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay to prioritise your mental and physical well-being. You are not alone in this. We’re here to support you.
hi thank you for responding .
i dont have a safe space and in my house and situation its impossible for me to create a safe space. and i cant talk to my family because ive tried it before and they either laughed at me or didnt care at all , and talking to friends doesnt help at all its too much to handle and ive been dealing with for too long , im in a very difficult situation where there are few options for me .
i live in Iran and we’re poor. and i dont think i mentioned but my family is the biggest part of my problem and this neighbor problem is just recently.
since i live in Iran and im poor and i cant rely on my family to help me with my problems , i cant afford a professional therapist too.
i need to become mentaly strong that no longer these situations ruin me.
im in constent pain and misery and my life is a living hell , i need to be strong i need to learn how to handle this amount of pressure , i dont believe in god i dont have a good family or a friend group who can understand me , I AM ALONE in evey way possible , so tell me how can stop being too afraid and too anxious , i always see the worst case senario in every thing when something bad happens (which happens all the time) i feel like im this close to dying or losing someone i love , eventho my family is responsible for everything im going through but i still love them and i couldnt bare to see anything happen to them , they made me miserable and weak and im aware of that but that needs to change or im going to die before i reach 30
Hey Cadusi,
I hear the incredible weight you’re carrying right now. You’ve shared with me how you’re living with immense fear, pain, and pressure, feeling like you have no one to turn to. I can only imagine how exhausting it must be to face this every day, to have your thoughts clouded by the sense that things are never going to change, and feeling completely alone in your struggle.
Despite the overwhelming difficulties you face, you are here, sharing your feelings, reaching out for support, and seeking to understand how you can navigate your pain. Just by opening up, you’ve shown strength. Even when you feel like you can’t go on, you keep trying. That, in itself, is evidence of your resilience.
I want to acknowledge something very important: you are incredibly strong.
You’ve had to carry a burden that no one should have to bear alone—the weight of a difficult environment, a family that doesn’t offer the support you deserve, and the deep pain from situations beyond your control. But even in this, you’ve kept going. You’ve acknowledged your pain, which is a powerful step toward understanding yourself. You’ve shared your struggles with me, which takes bravery.
I hear that you want to become mentally stronger, that you don’t want to let these situations ruin you, and you’ve acknowledged how tough everything is. Just like right before you can become strong, you see the vulnerability in yourself and the fear right before your eyes. And now you are here asking for help, that is strength.
Strength is to lean on support, especially when it feels like you can’t carry everything on your own.
Strength is not just about facing everything alone, but about recognizing when you need help, even if it feels like you don’t deserve it.
Strength is power in your ability to express how you’re feeling, and there is power in the courage you’re showing right now by reaching out as you navigate this fear and anxiety.
Strength is you thinking you are alone, but the reality is, you’re not alone, even if it feels like you are.
Your feelings are valid, and your fear is understandable. It’s okay to feel scared, and remember that fear doesn’t define you—it’s just something you’re experiencing right now. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human, and that means you’re capable of moving through it.
I hear your desire for change, for relief from all the pressure. And though you might feel like there’s no way out, every small step, every moment you take to acknowledge your pain and ask for support, is a step toward the freedom you’re seeking.
You said that you feel trapped and stuck in your situation, or is this fear holding you back?
If freedom is the strength to gives you courage, Can you muster the strength to challenge that perception?
I want to hold space for your feelings right now. Your emotions are valid—the anxiety, the sadness, the frustration. It’s okay to sit with these feelings. Sometimes, when everything feels too heavy, simply allowing the feelings to be, without judgment or expectation, can be a powerful first step toward finding peace. And this is strength.
You may not realise, you have the ability to heal, one step at a time. The road might be long, and I understand that it can feel like you’re walking through darkness, but you are not alone in this. You are worthy of love, support, and peace… And please know that we are here for you. Your strength is real.