I feel guilty when I cry

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I am an average girl with her problems. Recently, I have been dealing with a lot of things like friendship problems and other stuff. I little more about myself is that I have a wonderful life, I’m in a loving home with my dad and my mum and my siblings as well as my dog. I have clothes a small weekly allowance and soon I will be going on a trip. My home situation is great and my parents aren’t fighting or abusive. Basically my life is great. Which is why I feel like I shouldn’t be allowed to cry. I don’t cry often but when I cry its from pressure from my parents to do well, friendship problems or things I cant tell my parents. Basically when I cry it means I really have had enough and I cant take it. But something happens everytime I cry, I always link it back to world problems and I think things like, why are you crying when some people are being k*lled or r *ped, some people are even getting hit by their parents or don’t even have food. Which is why I hate myself for crying, because I always know that there are so many people living a much worse life and Im priveledged…

I don’t know what to do…Please help me and give me advice

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Dear Starstruck,

It sounds like you’re carrying a heavy burden on your shoulders. :hugs: First of all, please know that it’s completely okay to cry and feel your emotions, no matter how good your life may seem. It’s important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid, even if they may seem insignificant compared to others’ struggles. Tears are precious and they are trying to tell us something. So please allow yourself to cry, tell yourself it is okay to cry and be curious as to what the tears have to share with you.

It’s amazing that you have a loving and supportive home environment, and that’s definitely something to be grateful for. However, that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel overwhelmed or stressed about your own issues. Remember that everyone’s struggles are relative, and just because someone else may have it worse doesn’t mean your feelings are any less real. Sounds like it may really help if you could share some of your stresses, problems and just how you feel with your parents. Wonder if you have ever tried speaking to them? If yes, how has that worked out before?

It’s important to practice self-compassion and allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment. Instead of beating yourself up over crying, try to offer yourself kindness and understanding. Remember that you’re doing the best you can, and that’s something to be proud of.

One thing you might try is to acknowledge your feelings and then remind yourself of your strengths and resilience. When you start to feel guilty for crying, try to reframe your thoughts by saying something like, “I’m feeling really overwhelmed right now, but I’m strong and capable, and I can get through this.” You could also start keeping an emotions journal. How does that sound to you?

Lastly, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted adult, like your wonderful parents or a counselor, about how you’re feeling. Having someone to journey with you and to offer you support and guidance as you navigate challenges in life makes one feel less alone and more able to do so.

Remember, you’re not alone, and it’s okay to not be okay. Keep being kind to yourself, and know that you’re doing the best you can. That’s all anyone can ask for!

Take good care, starstruck,
northern lights.