I find it hard to like people

Hangouts Family and Friends
1

it’s so difficult for me to actually like any of the people i call friends. for some reason i just end up disliking them or hating them. i cannot tolerate most people they just piss me off so bad and i don’t know why. and i think it’s a me problem because i’ve had so many friends over the years who i just drifted away from or i secretly harbour hate/disdain for them. i don’t want to be so much of a hater but idk what to do about this?? like i don’t think i’m explaining it properly. there’s really only 1 person who i can tolerate 99% of the time but sometimes i get so jealous and annoyed with them too. idkkkkkkkkkkkkk what the point i’m trying to make is yeah.

also i feel like i think weirdly. like, my emotions that i express just feels like i’m projecting what i think other people want to see if that makes sense. if something good happens to a friend i’ll just be like “oh congrats!!” but inside i literally just don’t care. even when my closest friend tells me stuff i just don’t really care. but i pretend i do because i don’t want to seem like a bad person. or if something bad or sad happens i don’t genuinely feel sympathy/bad but i pretend like i do. like i don’t know how people feel things for others, i only feel for myself?? is there smth wrong with me or do most people feel the same way??? i try to feel bad or show some emotion or smth but lately i’ve been too tired to fake it and my friends have noticed and asked why i don’t seem sincere/genuine but idk what to say i cant just say that i just don’t care??

edit:

also i hateee spending time with people most of the time but all my friends at school are like the hanging out type y’know but i just can’t be bothered because i hate it. at school during breaks they always want to sit together somewhere or eat together and it pisses me off because i don’t want to do that but whenever i say i don’t want to hang out they all ask like “omg are you okay?” like just shut up please

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Hey @siren It sounds like you’re feeling completely out of sync with the people around you, and I can imagine how exhausting and isolating that must feel. It’s okay to have these complicated feelings and even to feel frustrated or annoyed by the expectations others have about how you “should” act.

The fact that you are feeling frustrated maybe because you do care how your friends think about you or how your friendship will turn out? So what I’m hearing is that you want to be in sync with them, but due to your personality, you just can’t act like how people ‘expect’ you too.

It also sounds like you’re spending so much energy on trying to match what others seem to want from you. It’s no wonder you’re tired of faking reactions or pretending to care when, deep down, you don’t feel much connection to their experiences. The truth is, some people are more naturally empathetic, while others may have a harder time relating to others’ feelings. This doesn’t make you any less or “wrong”—it just means your emotional experience might be different from those around you. And it makes sense that you’d find it hard to express interest if it feels forced or not genuine.

Sometimes, understanding and accepting that you’re not drawn to the same social dynamics can help you decide what kinds of relationships do work for you, even if they look different from what’s typical. So, give yourself permission to feel how you feel without judgment. If there’s one or two people you can tolerate or feel comfortable with, that might be all you need right now.