Too Many Emotions Simultaneously

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I have had a very odd dichotomy for the past five months. I feel intense overwhelm for the June Holidays because I want to get my stuff together but it’s obvious that that can’t happen in a month. Plus, I would only have two weeks because I have to go overseas and I’m freakin’ out about my schoolwork because we still have schoolwork. I feel as if I’m burnt out but it has been five months, it can’t last that long, can it? I feel frustrated with myself that I can’t just get out of this lingering rut and do the things I want. But I know I need patience with myself too, take my time. I’m only a kid, and getting your life together can take months or even years.

I feel intense irritation but pity for two specific friends, and I can point out why too. For the first friend, they’re always sad and depressed. When the room’s all quiet, they would just say that he has clinical depression out of the blue. Due to their sorrow, they don’t have many friends. I am very aware that I’m their closest friend because they basically talk to me whenever I’m around. I try to make small talk so they wouldn’t bring their thoughts into it. I feel really bad that, because of their illness, they can’t seem to connect to anyone. But on the other hand, I’m irritated that they haven’t gone out to help themselves, and that they want everybody to know that their depressed. Like I get it, but we can’t do anything about it. It’s like the song POWDER by Melanie Martinez.

For the second friend, they constantly speak about themselves and just talk hours on end. Their voice is also quite monotonous which makes any conversation sound repeated. Sometimes it actually is repeated. Many of my mates have asked me if I actually consider them a friend, and they shared their own feelings. They say they don’t like this friend because they find them annoying that they keep talking about themselves. I’m assuming they think it’s narcissistic. I feel somewhat the same as they just can’t see that we don’t want to know about them in the moment, without any connection to anything going on right now. However, I’m aware that they have a condition that affects their social skills and development. They need help with certain things that neurotypical people have no trouble doing. They ask me for small favours constantly, which also makes me frustrated, but I understand why. They can’t go through school themselves alone. However, they also cling onto me all the time. Whenever we need to group up, they always want to stick with me, not letting me out of grasp. However, I know it’s because they have an extreme fear of people leaving them, which is why they’re clingy.

I feel irritated with myself because I’m sort of the lonely people magnet. People who are left behind stick onto me like glue. I’m starting to question if I’m the problem. There’s got to be a reason why they want to be around me everyday when I enter the room. I’m also angry at myself for feeling frustrated and hatred for them even though the things that make them unlikable are not in their control. I’ve been wondering if the reasons I feel this hatred is because it’s projection. I witnessed my friend say they hated one of my friends mentioned here, but they are sort of similar. So am I just projecting my feelings towards myself on them? Am I also lonely on the inside, and they can see that in me better than I do?

I am very grateful for the self-awareness granted to me. It helps me ponder deeper about the reasons for why I feel things and do things. Maybe one of the reasons I would want to learn psychology when I’m older haha! However, I have a lot of questions afterward that I can’t really answer. How do I cope with all these feelings in me all at once? Currently, it comes out numb, until I breakdown in tears when they all hit me, and then return back to the numbness. It feels pretty unhealthy and I’m genuinely concerned if I should see someone about this. Any replies would be great, thank you very much!

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i can see u are taking all the negative emotions onto u and u never release it. Go outside and release the negative emotions and learn how to one ear in one ear out. Just listen without absorbing

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Hi JayHyjinx,

First of all, thank you for sharing your dichotomy with us, it sounds like there is a lot going on and I’m glad you found an avenue to talk about it here :blush:.

I hear that you’re feeling like you can’t even enjoy your June Holidays because of the overwhelming schoolwork and burn out. Not being able to enjoy your time, or not being able to do the things you want to do sounds frustrating. At the same time, you recognized and mentioned that you need patience with yourself, that these things take time. I’m happy to see you give yourself that patience and understanding, and I wholeheartedly agree. School life can be difficult, emotionally and physically, and it is okay to give yourself the breaks and rests you need.

You talk about your irritation with two of your friends, both of which you mentioned that you dislike even though the things that make them unlikeable are out of their control. I think it can be helpful in situations like these to recognize that two things can be true at the same time: your friend’s issues are not their fault and that it’s also normal to feel irritated at them. I also think that you’re very understanding and sympathetic to be able to recognize that they need help, so please be gentler with yourself when it feels like too much. Even with friends who may not be suffering from similar issues as yours, it’s normal to feel like you need your own space/privacy, and it’s important and, very much so okay, to set boundaries.

It seems that you have been aware of these thoughts for a while now and personally, I’m happy to hear you’re considering studying psychology as a fellow psych student :grinning:. I do think learning more about yourself sometimes comes from learning from others and the field of psychology is full of self-growth and development. Anyways, right now, you have a lot of questions, and I can’t give you the answers because it might be more impactful to find those answers yourself (and I’m sorry if that’s something you didn’t want to hear :sweat_smile:). Here are some questions that might lead you closer to an answer:

  1. How have you been coping so far and what do you wish to be different? (e.g., would you like to allocate “breaks” or special care of yourself?)

  2. Similarly, If you think the current way you process emotions is unhealthy, what would “healthy” look like for you?

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I think it’s important to set boundaries. Here is an example:

“I’m feeling really overwhelmed right now, and I need some time for myself. I can’t hang out today, but I’ll let you know when I’m feeling up to it.”

It’s important to be honest with your friends about how you’re feeling. They may not realize that they’re overwhelming you, and they’ll appreciate your honesty.

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Hey @JayHyjinx, thank you for sharing!

I hear you on feeling overwhelmed and I can imagine that it is frustrating to juggle between your responsibilities at school and your social life. I want to firstly affirm that going through this phase in life and experiencing such emotions are normal things to do, especially in our youth. I’m curious to know what you mean by ‘getting your life together’. Are you referring to completing all your tasks and responsibilities; perhaps a goal you are trying to accomplish by the end of the June holidays; or is it simply that you wish to start doing the things you want to again? Whichever the case may be, you are absolutely right in that you don’t have to have it all figured out right now. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and it is okay to take a break from figuring stuff out every once in awhile. Life does not start after getting your life together (it is happening right now!) and you can always change your mind about what you want to do at any point in time.

I hear you on experiencing burnout. This can be tricky if not addressed because burnout does not just go away by simply ignoring it. Self-care is of utmost importance here to recover from this. This includes taking care of your physical health, sleeping well, taking frequent breaks, eating well, and doing what you enjoy. You mentioned going overseas for two weeks and you are worried about the homework you have to complete. It might help to make a plan for what needs to be done for school and prioritize your tasks so you can allocate sufficient time for each assignment. As much as possible, try not to think about homework while you are overseas so you can be present and enjoy your well-deserved break!

Regarding the situation with your friends, I would like to offer a different perspective from you being a ‘lonely people magnet’. It seems to me like you are someone who empathizes well with others, and you genuinely listen to your friends when they are sharing their stories with you. Perhaps they see you as someone safe to be around because you see them for who they are without prejudice. This speaks volumes about your character and I don’t think it is a bad thing at all that people want to be around you. With that said, I do understand your frustration with the situation as you are not responsible for other people and it may seem like they are not doing anything for themselves despite how much you are helping them.

I agree with what Jaws says here, in that you are allowed to set boundaries with your friends and they may not share the same level of self-awareness as you do.

I can’t say if your feelings towards this matter is a form projection or not, but it might be worth exploring. Do you perhaps resemble them in some way that you do not wish others to see? Who or what do your friends remind you about yourself? In what ways do you act like them or is there any area in life where you also show up in the same way? These are some questions that could help you get started.

I’ll leave you with some tools that you may wish to try that might help with regulating your emotions:

I hope this helps and take care ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶

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Thank you so much everyone! School has finally ended so I’ll take my time to consolidate you guys’ answers for a few days before going through whatever I planned. I never thought it’d get so many replies (in my eyes) so thank you!! I am grateful you guys read the full post haha!

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