i think i have come up with a revaluation !! i think being busy life my (unhealthy) coping mechanism. when i dont have places to be or my deadlines arent nearing then i just try to like relax, watch netflix, do crafts which is like supposed to help me (right). but like when i have screentime and kind of have nothing to distract me from being sad then i feel really sad and feel like crying but no tears come out… its like the sch holidays rn and like i have so much work to do and i just cant get myself to do it and i keep procrastinating. recently i have been sleeping later cos i procrastinate and only rmb to do my homework late at night. i also feel like im not as connected to my friends and loved ones and i really dont know what to do atp! im honestly rly scared to seek help like im no way letting my parents to know im going for councelling as they would need to sign off on it for care corner and no way im going to the sch councillor thats sooo intimidating, and even if i had to i would definitely lie straight thru my teeth cos if i told her what i was truly feeling she would def notify my parents and all my teachers which is not cool!
Dear @TheGreatWar,
Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your thoughts so openly. I can feel the weight of your emotions through your words—you’re navigating a lot right now, and it sounds incredibly tough. I hear you when you say that being busy has become a way for you to cope with your emotions, but that when you do slow down, the sadness creeps in and becomes harder to manage. It’s important that you’ve identified this pattern of using busyness as a coping mechanism—it shows a lot of self-awareness, and that is a key step in understanding what’s happening emotionally.
I also hear you describing how sadness takes over when you’re not busy, and the difficulty of expressing that sadness fully, especially when tears don’t come. That can feel very isolating, as if your emotions are trapped inside and you can’t release them in the way you wish you could. Sometimes, we suppress emotions or avoid feeling them because it feels safer or easier than confronting them head-on, but when that happens, it’s like those feelings get stuck, creating a kind of emotional weight that becomes harder to bear over time.
You mentioned how you’ve been procrastinating and feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork during the holidays—this can feel like a vicious cycle where one part of you knows you have things to do, but another part of you feels too exhausted or disconnected to take action. It’s also so difficult when you feel disconnected from your friends and loved ones and can’t seem to get the emotional energy to reach out or engage in meaningful connections. I’m deeply concerned that this emotional distance you’re feeling might be further isolating you, making it harder to process your emotions in a healthy way.
I can really feel the weight of the emotions you’re carrying, and I want to take a moment to acknowledge the fear you’ve expressed about seeking help. Fear of seeking help can come from many places… Are you fearful about being judged, misunderstood, or feeling like you’ll be burdening others? You mentioned feeling like you might have to lie to your counsellor or keep your true feelings hidden because you’re afraid that seeking help might burden your parents or teachers.
I want to gently challenge that belief—you are not a burden. Sometimes, the idea of seeking help feels overwhelming because we’re afraid it might change the way people see us, or we might feel vulnerable and exposed. But asking for help is actually one of the strongest things you can do. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you need support, and that courage shows that you are not weak—you are strong for acknowledging what you need and seeking help to take care of yourself.
Let’s take a moment to reflect on why seeking help might feel so scary. Could it be the fear of being seen as weak? Or perhaps you’re afraid of not being understood, or even worrying about what others might think if they knew how you’re feeling? Sometimes, our minds can play tricks on us, and these fears can feel magnified, even though the truth is that the people around you—those closest to you—want to support you.
It’s okay to feel hesitant, and I can hear that you might feel isolated in these emotions, especially when you’re already feeling disconnected from friends and loved ones. But I want to reassure you that seeking help does not mean you’re alone in this. There are people around you—whether friends, family, or professionals—who want to support you. You are not alone in your struggle, and everyone close to you is there to help you as you navigate these difficult emotions. Even though it might feel like there’s a lot of fear and uncertainty around opening up, the people who care about you want to see you heal, and they’re ready to listen and offer support.
You don’t have to go through this alone. You have the strength to ask for help, and it doesn’t have to be a huge leap all at once. Maybe it can be a small step, like talking to someone you trust first—whether that’s a friend, family member, or counsellor. Take your time, and let yourself be as vulnerable as you feel comfortable being. Seeking help doesn’t mean you have to expose everything at once; you can start with small pieces, and build trust in the process as you go along.
Please know that you don’t have to carry this burden alone—asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a brave step toward taking care of yourself. You are worthy of support, and you have people who are ready to walk alongside you through this journey.
You’re doing something really brave by recognising these patterns, and I want to hold space for the courage it took to bring all of this up. It takes strength to face these emotions, even if they feel overwhelming, and acknowledge the difficulty in managing them. I want to encourage you to keep noticing these patterns without judgement. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, sad, or anxious, and it’s okay to not have everything figured out right now.
I can also see that you’ve started journaling, which is such a positive step—writing can help you uncover your feelings, understand your thoughts, and process your emotions in a way that is much less overwhelming than keeping them bottled up. That act of self-reflection is so important, and it’s a powerful tool in understanding and working through your feelings at your own pace. Perhaps as you continue journaling, you can begin to explore not just your emotions but also small victories, like recognising a moment of emotional release, or noticing the steps forward you’ve taken, no matter how small.
Since you mentioned that sadness is something you’re finding difficult to process when you’re not distracted by work or busyness, I’d like to gently encourage you to consider creating space in your day for those feelings, even if it feels uncomfortable. It doesn’t have to be long or drawn-out—perhaps just a few minutes where you allow yourself to sit with those emotions. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but sometimes the more we avoid those emotions, the harder they are to confront when they inevitably arise. Allowing yourself that space to feel, without judgement, can be really healing.
And as you think about your fear of seeking help, I want you to know that it’s okay to take small steps toward vulnerability. Seeking help doesn’t always mean diving into a conversation with a counsellor right away—it might start with a trusted friend, a family member you feel more comfortable with, or even just a brief conversation with someone you trust. You don’t have to do everything at once, and it’s perfectly okay to take baby steps when it feels right for you. You deserve to be heard and understood, and seeking help can offer the support you need as you work through these tough feelings.
Your courage to ask these questions about de-stressing is also so valuable. You’re already on the right path in exploring different ways to cope with your emotions, and it shows that you are not giving up on yourself, even when it feels hard. Finding what works for you might take time and experimentation, but it’s great that you’re starting to question and seek out alternatives. In addition to journaling, you might also try techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, or even gentle stretching to release physical tension. Sometimes we store emotions in our bodies, and offering yourself physical relaxation can be another form of emotional release.
Above all, I want to emphasise that you’re not alone in this. Your self-awareness, courage to ask questions, and willingness to keep trying new things for your emotional well-being are all signs of your strength and determination to heal. It’s okay to feel lost or stuck sometimes—what matters is that you are actively seeking ways to make progress, and I am here to support you through this journey.
Take small steps, be kind to yourself, and remember that healing is a process. Every small victory counts, and you are moving forward, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.
Just wanted to affirm for sharing your thoughts and feelings here, for showing up for yourself and recognising these difficult experiences.
It sounds like after big waves of business, when the time to relax comes, these feelings of being sad and wanting to cry come out more.
There’s an analogy of the cup. We all have a cup and the business and stress of life fills it up. When it starts to overflow, sometimes without realising, our body may start to respond to this. I wonder how this analogy sounds for you?
I will encourage you to give your feelings the space and time to emerge. In a way this gives you time to pour out some water from your cup. In that time and space you give it, what are some of the thoughts that come up? How would you describe that sadness that you feel?
It’s also nice to see that you’re considering professional help, and I want to validate that having your parents be informed is scary. Would that mean you’re below 18, or 21?
its really amazing that you’ve recognised this and reaching out!! it really takes a lot of couragee 
which part about going to the school counsellor is intimidating for you? if it really isnt an option, do you have any teachers that trust/can confide in?
thank you and yea im below that so need parents consent so thats not cool
i share my feelings with my best friend which is a good outlet to rant and get advice
I hear you, and it’s tough to be in that situation.
Was it scary for your parents to know you’re in therapy? Or that they will find out what you have said in therapy?
For places like Care Corner or Clarity, I believe that while they need parent consent, what you say exactly isn’t going to be shared with your parents. The consent is more to receive the service.
That said I understand of course, for parents to find out about therapy, is going to raise a lot of questions that you may be uncertain on how to answer.
thats great :)) are there any adults you trust?
im not undergoing their counselling cos i dont want to ask my parents
probably my mother but she keeps brushing off hints i drop her that i haven’t been mentally well so like idk and im scared that she wld judge me