Seeking help but nothing is helping

Ask a Therapist Coping
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I’ve been feeling terrible almost everyday and struggling to cope ever since 3-4 months ago when I lost my dad. Though initially I was coping fine but recently I have been progressively getting worse.

I finally sought help at my school’s counseling centre last Dec when things were getting bad and accepted that I couldn’t talk to my friends or family. But now I keep getting rescheduled and so far have only went for one intake session with my counselor a month ago. My first session was supposed to be a few days ago but got rescheduled to 2 months later. The past few weeks while waiting for my originally scheduled session was just terrible but I tried to be hopeful that it was coming up, but to have it rescheduled again to Mar made me feel overwhelmingly helpless. I can’t even imagine surviving until then, though I always do end up surviving. As it is, it was difficult for me to decide to seek help and it was supposed to be like my last resort, but this just made me feel so helpless now. I can’t help but keep feeling like nobody wants to help me anymore and like I’m abandoned, unwanted and left all alone, even though I know that it’s not my counselor’s fault so I feel really bad for thinking this way.

The past few months I really tried to help myself get better by trying journaling, going out more, seeking help, reading, and trying to learn how else I can cope. But at this point I just feel so hopeless, like I’m broken but I don’t know how to fix myself back up anymore. I feel like I’m fading away and getting worse until I won’t be okay again, and I’m really worried about these thoughts I’m having and I don’t want myself to get any worse than this.

Also I’m finding it hard to cope with school and work. There are some days where I just couldn’t function and I’m so afraid it will happen again and I end up not being able to go to class or submit my work. I don’t know what to do anymore.

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Hello my fellow otter @Otterly :otter: It must have been really stressful for you to have the sessions pushed back :disappointed_relieved:

Just wanna remind you it’s not your fault either for thinking what you’re thinking. Sometimes there are things that we can’t control and thats ok :people_hugging: I’m glad to see that you are trying to take control of what you can by coming here seeking for help so kudos to you for that hehe :muscle:

On my end I’m not sure what are your current options but I want you to know there are options out there and what I can offer first is a listening ear :slight_smile:

Perhaps @cottonsoul or @BKT could give futher advice ?

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Hi there @Otterly

Thank you for coming on and sharing about your struggles. Your feelings are still raw and I wanna commend your courage in reaching out, not only here but in your many ways to help yourself through this difficult times. Losing a parent is tough and I can’t imagine the pain that you’re going through. Grief has been described as a process that is non-linear and that it also comes in waves; rather than the pain going away/stopping, I wonder if you’ll experience its effects differently with time.

It’s also a difficult experience for you that when you sought counselling for help, which is supposed to be offered in a gentle and non-distressing manner, the opposite happened :pensive: However the things you did for yourself instead is a testament to your resilience and I wanna encourage you to continue doing that, especially to help out with your mood, even though just for a bit…And that the experience with your counsellor hopefully can be a way that allows you to process your grief, together with the feelings you had while awaiting for session.

I hear you when you say you feel broken given you feel separated with your loss. I think that your parts rather than put back together in the same way, will now be parts with new memories, feelings, experiences that is not the same as before. Nothing can be said to make it less painful butI wonder if this pain can be transformed into something else? Something that you can do to honour your grief and memory of your dad?

Also, you can consider reaching out to Family Service Centres as they also have professionals that can support you in a non-judgmental manner to help you cope and work through with school and work, one at a time. I’m also here and willing to listen whenever you feel like sharing. Until then, take care and allow yourself the space to ride the waves in this difficult moment :slightly_smiling_face:

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