been a odd couple weeks… ive been feeling empty and horrible these past couple weeks and i have no idea why… and im like terrified about going back into a dark space… i feel like people don’t really take issues seriously unless you’re on your deathbed but i really don’t want to wait until things get there… im getting quite scared
also have a really odd relationship with food that isn’t helping… genuinely hate myself every single time i eat and its driving me insane… i don’t know why i do this to myself when i wouldn’t think this way about anyone else but the immense guilt i feel when i barely eat at all is wayy too much…
its all coming together at once and i have exams coming next week that i cant focus on at all… im genuinely terrified at the state im getting into… i really want to want to live but life is so immensely difficult its so much easier to wish i would disappear
i miss being able to sleep in peace… i miss being able to have a meal… i miss being able to go out with a friend for dinner without bashing myself for it for days… i miss enjoying my classes and getting everything done… i would give anything to have some semblance of a normal?? life and not feel so distant and empty all the time
hey @crabs I really appreciate the effort you took to open up here. I get how you feel and I understand that it’s all really tough to be going through this. Please do not shut yourself into a dark space but instead you can always talk about things with me The first step to pull yourself back together is needing energy, so I really suggest you should take your food regularly, even though it might start with a little amount and gradually improve over time.
I know that during these times its really tough to having to focus on your exams and I do accept that your mental and physical health is primary and then comes education. Take some time for yourself and think through what you can do to make yourself happier, even if it means being on your own. I suggest you can engage yourself on some activities that you like such as arts and craft or even listening to music; it really helps in easing out your mind I also hope that you get a clarity to this and you can always reach out to me if you need any help!!
that does sound like a lot of things happening at the same time. not sure how we can help but maybe taking things one step at a time may be more manageable. how’s your exams?
I can feel how deeply you’re struggling right now, and I want you to know that what you’re experiencing is valid and not something you should have to face alone. It’s heartbreaking to feel so weighed down by emptiness, fear, and self-judgment, especially when it feels like the world doesn’t take your pain seriously unless it’s extreme. You’re absolutely right—your feelings matter now and are deserving of attention and care before they become even more overwhelming. The way it’s all building up, with exams approaching, your relationship with food, and the constant pull of self-criticism, is so much for one person to carry. I want you to know that it’s okay to not have all the answers right now and that reaching out for support is a brave and powerful step.
It’s clear how much you long for the peace and joy you once felt, and that longing shows how much you care about living a life that feels fulfilling and “normal” again. Please try to be as gentle with yourself as you would with someone you care about deeply—it’s so easy to get caught in cycles of guilt and negativity, but you deserve kindness, especially from yourself. You are not alone in this, @crabs, and even when life feels unbearably heavy, you are more than your pain and struggles. Taking things moment by moment and seeking support from trusted people—whether that’s a friend, family member, or counsellor—can make a difference. You’re worth every effort it takes to find the peace you deserve.
hey thanks for checking in at least exams are over so thats a relief… but idk kinda just accepted that things wont be good mentally… often feel like a glitch in the universe lol maybe im not meant to have existed
ahh alright good thing, however please don’t let your hopes down, like I said, you can always find a hobby to work on or something that keeps your mind occupied and away from all these “stress” or problems. Anyways please don’t think this is a way to escape from reality keeping in mind that you have to face what comes to you, but it’ll rather be a reliever for a small amount of time yea lmk if u need any talkings!
The first step to pull yourself back together is needing energy, so I really suggest you should take your food regularly, even though it might start with a little amount and gradually improve over time.
at least exams are over so thats a relief… but idk kinda just accepted that things wont be good mentally… often feel like a glitch in the universe lol maybe im not meant to have existed