i feel alone

i feel so alone right now. exam stress is getting to me and my family members keep acting like im an adult. I kind of wish i was an adult so i could go far away with my friends and i can be myself. where no one can tell me i can’t play music and that i can only study and that i can’t enjoy my holidays. i wish i was still in camp with all my friends and that we were all sneaking out of our dorms to grab a snack to eat. but i’m not im kid who’s alone in my bedroom, crying, freaking out, no friends or anybody i can actually talk to right now.

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My family is falling apart/has already fell apart. My brother has been off at the dead off night doing god knows what and he’s really rude. my mom has barely had a actual conversation with me and doesn’t respect my privacy in the slightest. she keeps scolding me for doing small things, like sitting on the floor or playing my ukulele without much reason either. she has not let me have a single free day during the September holidays and asks me to study, my dad also has no respect for my privacy at all. Frankly i don’t want to be near them. whenever we’re all together because it just feels like they all hate me, i haven’t had a proper conversation with any them for the past month the only time they’ve actually talked to me properly is if they want to tell me off. i always get the sick feeling that im gonna get really badly scolded.

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Hi @anonymous65 , thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts openly. I am really so sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling alone recently and that you’ve been crying so much. You’ve gone through alot, and yet you’re still here, trying to figure things out and seeking support - I commend you for being so brave and so resilient!

I hear you - your family doesn’t feel like family for now. It’s really painful to experience this falling-apart between each member, and I’m really sorry to hear about this. Sometimes, families have conflict and struggles that might be difficult to manage for the time being - but don’t give up. You have more resilience in you than you think.

For starters, perhaps it would be good to manage your exam stress - because if you feel too stressed by your exams, it would be difficult to manage anything else on your plate. Some ways to manage your exam stress can be doing deep breathing exercises (https://mindline.sg/youth/resource-group?group=health-and-wellness&sub-group=self-care) and focusing on your breath while calming down. This can be so beneficial for us when we feel angry or overwhelmed by our surroundings. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!

Secondly, try to seek support from your friends around you or your teachers or school counsellor. I feel that it’s important for you to share your feelings honestly and openly in a safe environment, and not to bottle things up. When you can share your feelings, you’ll be able to slowly figure out strategies together and help you untangle your home situation together. Perhaps, the school counselor can even help to speak to your family as a whole and work on the family situation too. It could also be helpful for you to practice acceptance (read more here: https://mindline.sg/youth/article?type=resource&resource-id=459) and help yourself to manage your expectations of your family members.

Last but not least, do try to prioritize self-care in the tiniest ways - even if it means eating something that makes you happy, or drawing little doodles on your paper to help you relief some stress. Find little rainbows in your life, and focus on the positives :slight_smile:

Again, I really commend you for your resilience and bravery and I just want to remind you that this community is here for you :slight_smile: