I hate my bestie but she’s reaching out to me, or am i too petty?

I think i hate her now. She was my bestie. Or am I too petty? This is going to be a long read. Let me know your opinions.

I have this friend. I met her in ITE. She was hearing impaired, had to wear hearing aids, but still struggled to hear what people were saying. I would say she was my BFF at the time. I helped her no matter what, gave her my notes, homework, and whatever she needed. I taught her as well. I truly saw her as my BFF even though she was the type to be jealous if you did better, and to be proud if she was better than you. An example would be when she scored lower than me for a test and she was unhappy and sulking all day. But when she scored higher than our other friend, she would act all proud. Once I was doing my homework during break, I saw her trying to take a picture of it. I ignored it and didn’t call her out for it. During ITE days, I was dating this other guy (not my current BF). She would constantly call him handsome and check his Instagram stories (he isn’t even from ITE, by the way). She also has a tendency of bragging that she’s talking to a guy who is attached. Okay. I did advise her not to do so, but ultimately it’s her choice, and I did not and will never force my opinion onto someone.

After ITE, she went to work for a year or more, and I entered poly. We kept in contact, but I have since distanced myself from her after two things happened.

FIRST: Someday in 2022, We went out to eat, and she told me to pay first (something I rarely do because I have trust issues from people using me for my money - that can be a story for another day). Anyway, it was $70+. I paid first, and she said she would return it to me that day. It never happened. I asked for it a few more times, and she said she would pay back… it never happened. I didn’t text her since. A few months passed by, it’s now 2023, she asked to meet and made a joke about how I should treat her to food. Instantly, I snapped back by saying I would if she actually paid me back the money she owed me. She said she swore she paid me back and told me to check my bank accounts and send proof that I paid and that she didn’t pay me back. She insisted that she had paid me. I came prepared, sent her the date + screenshot of when I paid, and showed her that I never received any money from her that month. She paid me back and I never texted her again. But this year she started texting me again to rant about things. Whatever.

SECOND: We had this sleepover. On Thursday, December 22, 2022, she texted me, wanting to have a sleepover at my house, to which I agreed and suggested we could do it on the weekend. She preferred Saturday. I informed her that I would be out, and she replied:

  • nvm
  • u can trust me
  • i’ll be ur fam’s next daughter

:skull: bro the third reply was not it.

I replied, saying my mom would be having guests over, and she said she would leave early. So I gave her a choice: either she comes on Saturday night or Sunday morning. She replied:

  • LOL
  • SAT
  • dw sun
  • I got monday blues

I asked what time she could come and she replied:

  • anything la hor
  • anytime
  • or after the guests leave
  • i come early la
  • give me house access
  • i take care of your room
  • i can stay inside ur room like a hermit

??? :skull: Bro, we aren’t that close for me to give her access to my house while I’m not there. Do you know how much trust you need to actually let someone stay in your room while you’re away? I imagine this for couples only or super close BFFs.

I let her know that I was packing my anime figurine collection into a box because I would be getting a built-in cabinet installed, along with a new desk and whatnot. So my room would look different than before. She replied:

  • eh count me in then
  • help y’all move
  • arrange stuff

To which I said, the installation is only happening in my room, not the whole house, so there’s nothing to move or arrange besides arranging figurines in my new cabinet. I didn’t tell her this but the reason I don’t want her touching my stuffs is because…yes it’s mine, and I want to do it my way because it’s my room, and my figurines are expensive, costing up to $600. And she replied: (referring to the reno)

  • my parents cAN NEVER

I told her I will be rearranging the things myself and she replied:

  • not bad
  • but dont want me to touch

:skull: why cannot ?? my stuff. and shes not gonna pay me back if she broke it.

Now moving onto the actual sleepover, this was before she paid me back, and I just took it as charity work, that’s why I let her come over for the sleepover. But I distanced myself even more after this. She slept on the mattress on the floor, I slept on my bed. She said she was going to watch her drama, so I got on the game with the boys, and we were on Discord. Now, my friend is interested and asked me to let her hear our conversation. I said no, privacy. Moments later, I went AFK in the practice range in Valorant, and she saw. She wanted to try and play a match. I said no because I’m still in a call with the boys, and if she wanted to play a match, she would have to wear the headphones. Considering how she spoiled my pendulum and headband on that night, I said no. (Could you imagine if I let her touch my figurines?? :skull:) Because my stuffs are expensive, okay, I just don’t want to risk it. She literally came to me and asked me to get off my own chair :skull:. Like, what attitude is that? Obviously, I refused, but she proceeded to sit ON MY LEG while I’m still on the chair and PUSHED MY HAND OFF MY OWN KEYBOARD & MOUSE and tried to play my game. And I can’t believe how childish it sounds right now as I’m writing this. She took the headphones off my head. I was mad…Okay moving on, we ordered McDonald’s and got snacks from a nearby store. She ate the chips on my bed, left crumbs EVERYWHERE. Opened drinks and snack packets were all over my bed. Then, she went to sleep. I had to clean up :skull:. How else am I going to sleep? I was mad. Whatever. She left the next day. I never invited her back.

besides all that:…. she’s also rude :woman_shrugging:

once she texted me:

  • shld i eat noodle
  • or
  • grab
  • let me see wat grab have

i replied

  • noodle
  • nvm
  • eat whatever u wanna eat

and her reply was

  • LOL
  • u basically got no say
  • in this
  • cos it’s my tastebuds

Like, bro, precisely why I said, “eat whatever you wanna eat”…

After my room was renovated, I have an Instagram page where I share pics of my collection and also my room. She saw it and texted me. This is how the convo went. I probably sound rude because I was still pissed about the whole sleepover thing. Enjoy reading.

her: room tour pls

me: for what

her: excuse me
i demand it
u deliver

me: LOL

her: ok room tour now

me: no

her: oi
r u gonna do it

me: no

her: i hope to see it later

me: no


me: cannot. film for what.

her: i wanna see. cant u just use telebubble

me: for what


me: is my room

her: as if i nvr been to ur room​:skull::woman_standing:

i ain’t got anyone to tell or show ur room

me: see for what

her: didnt i say out of curiosity. is that not a good reason. i just wanna see sia. i just curious. natural. no intention behind it.

me: no

her: nvm i come to ur house then see. dk when but soon.

me: why u want come

her: thats for the future to worry

me: cannot come

her: HUH. y so difficult cb.

me: nobody can come

her: what happen sia. tell me

me: i just dw ppl to come

her: i dont rlly touch
or mess up your things what
cant i be the exception

(bro does she not remember she broke my stuff before LOL)

me: bruh no one is coming to my house

her: even i no exception???

me: come for what

her: idk chill i guess

me: i can chill by myself

her: its not like i’m gonna visit you anytime soon
so how long until
your house is open for visitation
until ur room is messed up sit

me: forever

her: ok nvm u come my house

me: no

her: okay bye

me: whats your problem

her: more like wats ur problem
i shld be saying tat back to u

me: what is my problem?

her: but it’s ok i understand

Now she’s in poly, going into year 2, I think. Every now and then, she reaches out to me to rant about her classmates. Like, literally, she only texts me when she needs something or when she needs to rant. Now she wants to meet up, but I don’t want to. I rejected her, but she wouldn’t let go.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading 🩷 Let me know what you think.


Hey @anoni , I made it to the end! hahaha

Anyways, it sounds like there have been multiple instances where your friend upset you, but you didn’t manage to let her know that you were upset or uncomfortable with how she was behaving (apart from the incident where you asked her for your money back). Have you ever tried telling her what’s wrong or letting her know that you don’t like it when she does certain things (e.g. eating on your bed)?

I think towards the end your friend could feel that something was off but she didn’t want to confront you about it too…

Maybe you can try being upfront to her about how you feel about your friendship and see how it goes from there? Let me know how it goes if you do talk to her about it! :purple_heart: