idk how to feel nowadays. “whats wrong w u” says my parents. ive been asking myself that everyday. i try to vent to my friends. all they end up saying “real” or “same”. why cant i get the comfort i want while others do. am i selfish? have i given too little? i try to be the nicest person i can everyday, put others above myself and my happiness. my mental health is decaying day by day, to the point where i need to get yelled at to get up. my mood swings are getting worse too. atp i can go from extremely happy to empty and numb within a few minutes. everyone says the same thing. “go exercise, itll improve ur mood” “u shld find help” whats exercise gonna do? i cant even get out of bed. if ur saying i can run around for 10mins and my suicidal thoughts will go poof and disappear id be happy to. im tired of my own misery, and im tired of everything. if i ‘try to find help’ my parents would have to know. thats the problem. i would if i could. all i need is someone to say “hey i can relate u dont deserve to feel this way” bc everyone and everything in my life makes me feel like i am deserving of this. crazy how the internet is more supportive than my irl friends and family. are my feelings are invalid? bc i grew up in a place where ive been constantly told “others have it worse, suck it up” my parents were not necessarily emotionally abusive. they js didnt understand. they “love” me but it doesnt feel that way. so i feel guilty. am i js an atttention seeker? what are all these useless efforts for? js to die in the end.
(ik my grammar is horrible, sorry if u had trouble reading the post, i js needed to vent, sorry)
Moodswings within a few minutes sounds really serious. U really should get ur school counsellor even when u dont want ur parents to know. Would it be better for u to get worse or them knowing? Ive attempted b4, therapy. cardio, full sleep, eat healthy n hanging out help me the most. Of course its not easy to start from cant get out of bed to running everyday but everything takes time n effort. Nothing will help ur mentak health recovery immediately