ive been wanting to seek help for a very VERY long time but i really just cant do it.
i genuinely do not know how long things have been like this, it seems as if i have been miserable forever. im tired every day. i cannot commit to anything anymore— i have had many hobbies over the past 5 years and there is nothing i enjoy doing anymore. i cant commit in most of my relationships with others, i push away most people and i cannot help but feel hate towards a lot of people i am friends with. i have a select few (like 3) that i am quite close to but despite not wanting to lose them sometimes i am the one who keeps treating them somewhat harshly or avoiding them. i feel like the only genuine emotions i feel are anger, hatred, and sometimes resentment. i feel like people avoid me when im not the one making contact at all. i am very close to my parents and i love them to bits but i dont want to tell them things as they are the type to assume its “just a phase” and that ill get over it. its unfortunate that ive felt this way for more than 3 years now.
i cannot remember the last time i genuinely looked forward to anything— i see no reason in anything anymore. i am tired everyday, i dont feel like doing anything, and i avoid everyone when i have the chance. even if in doing so i feel even more alone and desperately want to be told that i matter, even if i know that certain people care about me, i choose to avoid them.
i really really want to get help but i dont know how. ive only opened up to those 3 close friends but i dont feel like ruining the mood by dumping my excessive feeling of nothingness on then. i would really really appreciate help : (
Hi @makimomota,
I’m really sorry you’ve been carrying this weight for so long - it sounds exhausting in a way that words barely capture. The numbness, the anger, the loneliness, and the fear of burdening others - it’s all so heavy, and yet you’ve kept going, even when it feels like there’s no joy left to hold onto. That takes a kind of strength that’s easy to overlook.
You’re not selfish or broken for feeling this way, and you’re not alone in it either. Wanting help is not weakness - it’s a sign that something inside you still believes in the possibility of healing, even if it feels distant. You matter, even when your mind tries to convince you otherwise.
With regards to help-seeking, here are a few options to consider. These mental health services are provided free-of-charge:
Youth Community Outreach Team (CREST-Youth): Promotes early detection of mental health needs in youths and offers emotional support for those in distress.
Youth Integrated Team (YIT): Provides mental health assessment, therapy, and case management for youths with mild mental health conditions.
Polyclinics (subsidised): Provides medical treatment / intervention for people with mental health concerns.
You may reach out to CREST-Youth, YIT or a Polyclinic through this link: mindline.sg | Free Mental Health Resources & Mindfulness Tools in Singapore
For immediate mental health support, you may contact the National Mindline at 1771 (Call) or +65 6669 1771 (WhatsApp).
Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline
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Ask someone to drag you or accompany u to therapy. It helps. Everything get better after therapy from my exp. My family n relatives dragged me to go out during my early stages n got better. I was at a stage where i couldnt help myself n needed external help
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Dear @makimomota
Thank you for writing in and seeking a way out of what you are experiencing. I sense it has come to a point where you feel it is unbearable and not addressing it is not an option anymore. To acknowledge that you need help is an indicator of your self awareness and strength. I am glad you have taken this step because it also shows your determination and motivation to get better.
You have asked whom you can approach for help. On top of the list that @Han_Solo_2000 has provided, do consider reaching out to a school counsellor if possible. School counsellors are trained to listen non judgementally and can provide a safe space for you to openly share your challenges. They will work out a therapeutic plan for you to slowly address the challenges you are facing. Over time, and with you practising new thinking patterns and behaviours, I believe you will see improvements to your daily quality of life.
In the meantime, please continue reaching out here whenever you need to for unconditional support and encouragement from all of us. You can achieve your goals of feeling better so move forward in this desired direction, by taking one tiny step at a time at a time. 
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Hey @makimomota, it sounds like you’ve been feeling stuck in this heavy, exhausting place for so long that it almost feels like it’s become your normal and that’s a deeply lonely and draining way to live. You’ve lost interest in the things you once enjoyed, struggle to maintain connections even with the few people you’re close to, and feel like the only emotions that come easily are anger, resentment, or frustration.
Wanting help but not knowing how to reach out is actually a very common and human struggle when you’ve been feeling this way for years. It’s not because you’re “weak” or “lazy” but because depression and emotional exhaustion sap the energy you’d need to take that first step.
Maybe you can start smaller than “get help.” Instead of thinking “I need to go to therapy right now,” you might try telling one trusted person just one thing about how you’re feeling, without explaining it all at once.
Maybe write it down first. Since talking in the moment might feel overwhelming, you could copy what you wrote here and send it to a counsellor, a helpline, or even one of your close friends.
Frame it as “exploring options” instead of “making a commitment.” Sometimes thinking “I’m just trying this once” feels easier than “I have to start therapy and keep it up forever.”
You’ve been carrying this weight for years, and the fact that you still want help even when you’re exhausted and numb means there’s still a part of you that hasn’t given up. That’s worth holding on to .
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I understand you and I’m really glad you reached out on here.
Three years is a long time to carry this alone. I get not wanting to “dump” on your friends, but real friends actually want to help when you’re struggling. You’re not broken and this isn’t permanent, even though it feels like it right now. Seeking help from trusted adults will help you get through this. You are worth it.
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