I am a upper sec student this year and I have been struggling with my mental health for like exactly a year now. I have struggled with passive suicide attempts and passive self harm (eg: id jaywalk and hope a car hit me and I’d hold very hot things with my bare hands so I could feel the burn — not very serious things but still) I always feel like I am being too much for my friends and that I am not good enough for anything or anyone. I also feel like I regret a lot of things in my life. I transferred to the IP stream this year due to outstanding academic performance and other things. I am really smart but I am not the smartest. I feel that way about everything. I always feel like a burden. I cry a lot at night and whatever I try to do to stop these feelings of anxiety and hopelessness they never stop. I try to tell my mum about it but she keeps telling me to “stop thinking about it” as if I havent already tried. She always just ends up lecturing me about how I’m “making these problems up by myself” and “causing unnecessary stress”. I dont even know what to do anymore. Any advice?
Hey, I read your post and that can be very hard. I’m in the same boat tbh, but what helped me was that I would go to church more often and that helped for a while but I still felt that way, so I started to force myself to love myself more because everyone deserves happiness in life. I went out more and started making new friends because I surrounded myself with toxic friends. And by going out and being myself, I felt as if there was still hope. Now I’m not a very social person, but but introducing myself more and making myself more confident, it truly helped. So I would try that if you haven’t already. Life is hard, but just know that you are loved, whether you see it or not. I felt exactly how you felt. But if you ever want to ask me questions or need more advice, or just want to talk. Lemme know 
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Hey, first off, i’d like you remind you that you do matter a lot, to the people around you even if you don’t feel it right now, okay? And I would like you to know that your mental health is something that is really important and even speaking up about it into the internet where no one really knows your identity is an act of wanting to live itself. This is not just a common phase or “making problems by yourself” like your mom says. What you’re going through right now is really really serious and very real. So, let’s tackle it a step at a time, for the issue with you feeling like you’re too muc for your friends or that you’re not good enough for anyone for anything, i would suggest that you talk to your own friends about these feelings. It doesn’t hae to happen all at once, but i would advise starting with a few close friends that you know you can trust with everything and slowly opening up from there. This process will be very difficult and very very challenging to get through, but trust me with the support of your friends who know what you’re going through will make the rest of the process a lot easier because you know you’ll not be alone. On the flip side, though, you’d have to be ready to lose a few of them, but there’s nothing to worry there, because if they would not stay by your side through this, i doubt they’d stayed on your side when you go through harder things in the future. As for your feelings of being a burden, crying yourself to sleep, feeling hopelessness and anxiety, i really suggest you try talking to your school counsellors, and i know that even walking into that office feels hard, or feels like you’ve lost, but its honestly the best desicion that you can make for yourself. There’s not much you can do about your mom but hopefully, if you can get the counsellor to give a letter to recommend you for therapy, she might agree. Good luck on that, and by the way, congratulations on making it to the IP stream, I’m proud of you.
Dear @happeningswan685
Thank you for reaching out. I can see that you are self aware that what you are going through cannot continue and recognise you need support.
I recommend you approach your school counsellor soonest. They are experienced in journeying with students with similar challenges as you. I believe the anxiety and hopelessness you are facing needs to be addressed with urgency as it’s already been affecting your mental health for over a year. You can also consult the counsellor and brainstorm appropriate ways to speak to your parents about your current struggles.
You could consider reaching the counsellors staffing the national mindline at 1771. Chat, web and text services are available 24/7 so it is a good option if you feel immediate support is needed. They can also connect you with suitable resources.
Please do not go through this alone any longer. You deserve to get non judgmental effective support that reduces the distress you are feeling. 