I wna see a therapist but i dont know if i really need it?

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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i have been feeling down and hopeless and have been unable to sleep recently and i took some depression quizzes and i they say i might have depression.

so like basically i have been rly stressed recently as i am sec 1 and i dsa to my sch (which is like an elite sch) and everyone is so smart and they study so much and i am worried i am not good enough

sometimes i think how much suffering i can end if i die and like idk if that is normal cos my friends also like say want to kill themselves if they dont do well in tests so like idk??

i have been talking to friends and my parents and that helps but its not enough and i feel scared to seek help

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Thanks for sharing your feelings, @thegreatwar. I can imagine the stress, especially during major transitions from primary to secondary school.

How long have you been feeling this way? If it’s for a prolonged period of time, then it will be good to seek help from a professional. You can look for one here.

I can also understand the agony that your friends feel when they don’t do well in tests. Sometimes it can be very disappointing when we don’t perform up to our expectations but I don’t think dying solves anything. I think your friends probably say that as a way to express how disappointed they are.

But on a separate note, since you DSA to your school. Are you enjoying the CCA parts? You must be quite good at something.

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hey @thegreatwar

thank you for sharing your feelings so openly. i know it must be hard making the transition from pri to sec sch, but i also want to congratulate you for managing to dsa in successfully!

about your friends saying they wanna kill themselves when they don’t do well for tests, i must admit im also guilty of doing so. its more of an expression than really meaning it, and if you really mean it when you say that then that’s something you should be worried about.

do you need a therapist? tbh i think everyone could benefit from a therapist. talking to one is a good way to process your feelings and thoughts and seek advice for your situation. i recently started seeing one and it’s been helpful having someone safe to share my problems with. but if you’re scared and would rather try and get through this on your own, that’s also ok!

here are some things you may consider doing:

don’t compare!
comparison is the thief of joy, idk where i heard that from. but everyone is on a different journey, and comparing will only make you feel worse about yourself. just focus on yourself and do a bit at a time, and be proud of yourself when you achieve small victories.

journal
you’ve probably seen this advice around a lot, but writing down your thoughts and feelings could be an effective way of processing and feeling better. physical or online, whichever is easier. i always feel better after typing out my thoughts, it’s a way of letting them out.

practice gratitude
this may be a little hard but if you can find a few things to be thankful for each day, it’ll make living a little easier. simple things will do, things like good food or friends.

if all else fails and you’re still considering seeking help, let me assure you that it’s perfectly fine! i’m not quite sure what is making you scared of doing so, but if it’s the stigma that comes with it, i know it’ll be hard letting people know you’re seeking help, but it should be your health and well being above all else. do keep that in mind! and if it helps you get better then why not?

you got this ok! jiayous and feel free to come back here if need be 🫶🏻

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hi! i get how ure feeling bc i am also in a school where i feel like everyone is so much smarter and better than me. your feelings are valid. its hard and stressful at school sometimes and like certain situations do leave us feeling inadequate. but i want to assure u that u are enough and that its going to be okay

just last week i went to see my school counsellor after alot of hesitation. i have taken several online quizzes before that indicated some signs of depression, but i kinda gaslighted myself thinking like “what if im not actly depressed but sad, and would it be silly to seek help? am i just not strong enough to handle setbacks?..” what rly made me take the step to seek help was the night i realized how much time i had spent being miserable. i think i dont deal with my negative thoughts in a healthy way and i felt that was something i needed help with.

so yea my first visit, i felt very uncertain about it but my counsellor was actually very patient, understanding and assuring. it felt good to be able to talk with someone and just let it out. i still feel like â– â– â– â–  most days. im learning to take things a step at a time and letting myself feel, but not be consumed by these negative thoughts.

you’re not weak for wanting to seek help, and it is okay to not be okay. for me, i felt that this was something i couldnt talk to my family and friends about. my counsellor assured me that i had a safe space to talk with him about my situation. i decided to seek help from the school because i dont have that money for private therapy. for a start you could reach out to your school counsellor, im sure they’ll be willing to listen and help you. all the best i hope things get better for you :slight_smile:

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Thank you for sharing your story. I have also been through the depression stage and it took me a while to overcome this obstacle. Besides your friends and parents, you might want to consider approaching your teachers or school counsellor. If you ever need someone, I can be your listening ear.

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you sound like youre being really hard on yourself :(( i hope you know youre more than your results or school performance okie!!
there are so many factors and layers of reasons why one may feel like they are struggling so badly, i’m wondering if you’ve pondered what are some reasons you feel scared about seeking help? :pleading_face:
it might be scary to admit to ppl arnd u but we can explore that tgt hereeee :people_hugging:

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Anyone is allowed to seek help for their problems, no matter how big or small! from what you shared, you seem to be having a hard time transitioning into your sec 1 life, and it is affecting your sleep and mental wellbeing. your struggles are completely valid because the pri to sec sch transition is not easy at all!! so if you feel like seeing a therapist then go for it, but if you’re feeling a bit unsure, you can start by talking to your close friends or family. im sure they’ll be willing to listen and support you :slight_smile: orr, you can also share more here on lets talk! me and other users are more than willing listen and support you if you need :slight_smile:

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Hi @thegreatwar,

Thank you for being so open about how you’ve been feeling. I can really hear the stress and pressure you’re under, especially after transitioning to a new school where everything feels intense, and everyone around you seems to be excelling. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed when you’re trying to adjust to a new environment, and I want to let you know that what you’re going through isn’t something you have to face alone.

I know it’s scary to feel like you might not be good enough, but the fact that you were able to dsa into this school shows that you do have strengths and talents, even if they might not feel as visible right now. It’s easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to others, especially in a high-pressure environment. Remember, everyone’s journey is different, and just because things feel tough right now doesn’t mean you’re not capable.

You mentioned taking some quizzes and getting feedback that you might be dealing with depression, and I’m really glad you’re recognizing that this might be something more than just everyday stress. Feeling down, hopeless, and having trouble sleeping are all signs that your mind and body are asking for some care. It’s also concerning that you’ve been having thoughts about how much suffering would end if you weren’t here. While it’s not uncommon for people to express thoughts like this, especially when they’re stressed, it’s important to take these feelings seriously.

One thing that stood out is that talking to your friends and parents has helped, but it doesn’t feel like enough. That makes sense because while talking to people close to you can provide some comfort, there are times when it’s helpful to have someone who is trained to guide you through these feelings. If you’re scared about seeking help, that’s completely understandable. Many people feel nervous about opening up to a counselor or therapist, especially if they’re not sure what to expect. But seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s actually a strong and brave step toward feeling better.

I noticed some of the suggestions others have shared, and they really resonate with me:

  • Don’t Compare Yourself to Others: Like one of the comments said, comparison is the thief of joy. Everyone moves at their own pace, and just because things seem easy for others doesn’t mean that you’re not doing your best. Try to focus on your progress rather than what everyone else is doing.
  • Journaling and Practicing Gratitude: Writing down your thoughts can help you process what you’re feeling and clear your mind. It might also help to write down a few things each day that you’re grateful for—small things that make you feel good, even if it’s just a kind word from a friend or something you enjoy about your day.
  • Exploring Why Seeking Help Feels Scary: You mentioned feeling scared to seek help, and that’s a really important thing to explore. What about it feels scary to you? Is it the idea of talking to someone new, or are you worried about what others might think? Sometimes, breaking down these fears can make them feel less overwhelming.

Lastly, if you feel like things are becoming too much to handle, reaching out to a school counselor could be a really great option. It might feel intimidating at first, but school counselors are there to help students like you navigate these exact kinds of feelings. They can provide a safe, judgment-free space where you can talk through what’s been weighing on you and figure out ways to cope.

Remember, it’s normal to not feel okay, and seeking help is not only normal—it’s a smart step in taking care of your mental health. You’re not alone in this, and there are people who want to help you through it. You’ve already shown so much strength by talking to your friends and parents and reaching out here. Keep taking things one step at a time, and if you ever feel like it’s too much, don’t hesitate to reach out for more support.

You’ve got this, and we are rooting for you!

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Hello @thegreatwar :wave:t2:! I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling overwhelmed, especially with the pressure of being in a competitive environment. It’s really good that you’re sharing these feelings.

It’s important to acknowledge that your feelings are real and valid. Being in an elite school with high expectations can make you feel a lot of pressure, especially when you compare yourself to others. It’s okay to feel scared or unsure—many people do when faced with new challenges. You’re not alone in this. When you’re surrounded by high achievers, it’s easy to feel like you’re not good enough. But remember, everyone has their own journey and struggles, even if they don’t show it. It’s not about being as good as everyone else, but about doing your personal best.
It’s concerning that you’re thinking about how much suffering would end if you weren’t here. Even though your friends may joke about similar things, those thoughts are a sign that it’s time to reach out for support. Talking to friends and parents is a great step, but if it’s not enough, seeking help from a professional such as a school counselor or therapist, can make a difference.
However, if you’re still afraid or uncomfortable to approach a counselor or therapist, you can always pen down your feelings here :slightly_smiling_face:!

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Hey @thegreatwar , it sounds like a lot to carry, especially with the pressure of being in an elite school and worrying about whether you’re good enough. It’s great that you’re talking to your friends and parents—that’s already a big step, even if it doesn’t feel like enough right now.

About the quizzes you mentioned, it’s important to remember that those online quizzes are just screenings, not a proper diagnosis. They can give you an idea of what might be going on, but it’s really important not to self-diagnose. If you’re feeling down and struggling with thoughts like this, it might help to talk to a professional who can guide you through it. I wonder, is there anything stopping you from seeking help, like maybe worrying about what others might think?

Sometimes it’s easy to focus on what we’re not good at, but have you thought about what you are good at? Everyone has their own strengths, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. What do you think you’re good at? It might help to focus on that and remind yourself that you belong where you are.

And it’s not normal to feel like you have to end everything to stop the pain. Even if friends joke about it, that doesn’t mean those feelings should be ignored. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, and you definitely deserve the support to feel better.

Take care of yourself!! And if you ever need to talk more, we are here. :slight_smile:

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thanks for your advice:)) actually my dsa isn’t a sport but its like a program run by my school (its quite niche so i wont elab too much lol)

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thanks sm​:heartpulse: yeah im pretty scared cos of the stigma. its pretty ironic thou cos i did a project in sch abt mental health :sob:

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thanks for your advice! didnt think that maybe my friends weren’t joking :smiling_face_with_tear:

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Hello @thegreatwar! I understand how you feel but let’s hope they are joking. If it isn’t, let’s take it as lightly as possible :slightly_smiling_face:. More people out there appreciate and love you :heart_hands:! Fighting !! :muscle:t2:

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