hi this year school became really stressful and there were several times this year when I lost interest in my hobbies and felt very sad all the time. in the past few months I have started to have frequent mood swings and will get angry and frustrated or very withdrawn when I’m at home and feel like I have to put a lot of energy when outside when interacting with other ppl. in the last week I’ve also been feeling very hopeless and tired at school and I don’t want to study for my end of year exams anymore. my grades have dropped and I’m so far behind my study schedule that I don’t want to study anymore. I have frequent negative thoughts about suicide but I dont actually want to do that but the thoughts just come naturally and are like voices in my mind. I have been crying non stop for no apparent reason and get triggered easily. I feel tired and sad often and even though I have talked to my mom about it, she keeps trying to fix my problems and unintentionally adds pressure on me to do well in my exams. I think I may have depression but I’m not sure and am thinking of seeing a doctor
Hi @banana_hi, thanks for sharing so vulnerably. I think it’s great that you’re considering professional therapy, how do you intend to start looking?
I get how difficult it can be to start when you feel like you’re way behind schedule. Are you someone who studies better alone or with friends? Preferably those that you’re super comfortable with so you don’t need to use a lot of energy to interact with.
Hi @banana_hi,
I’m really grateful that you reached out to share what you’ve been going through. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been carrying a heavy emotional burden, and I want you to know that your feelings and experiences are valid.
It’s not uncommon for the demands of school, especially during challenging times, to take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. Feeling sad, losing interest in hobbies, experiencing mood swings, and having frequent negative thoughts are all signs that something may be affecting your mental health.
I commend you for your willingness to talk about these thoughts and feelings here on this platform – This is a positive step towards understanding and addressing the issues, and I’m proud of you for this!
Sometimes, the stress of upcoming exams and external pressures (like from your mother’s expectations) can be difficult to balance altogether, but I affirm you for seeking help and support when you’re struggling to balance it all.
Considering the frequency of negative thoughts about suicide, even if you don’t want to act on them, it’s crucial to take them seriously. It’s a positive sign that you’re open to the idea of seeking professional help by considering seeing a doctor. They can provide you with a proper evaluation and guidance on how to manage your mental health. I would also encourage you to speak to a mental health professional (whether it’s a school counsellor or someone outside of school), to find support and get specific interventions to help support you through this season.
If you ever feel like you have a difficult time and need urgent help, please do call these numbers:
- SOS: 1-767
- SOS whatsapp: Share on WhatsApp
- IMH - 63892222
In the meantime, I encourage you to try out these activities and resources to help you to manage your feelings – these can be pretty helpful when things get overwhelming! 
- Deep breathing: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
- Reframe perspective: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
- Stay positive: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
In the meantime, I encourage you to keep talking to someone you trust about your feelings, whether it’s a friend, family member, or a mental health professional. Sharing your thoughts and emotions can be a powerful way to relieve some of the emotional burden you’re carrying.
Again, I just want to help you to remember that you don’t have to go through this alone, and there is support available to help you navigate these difficult times. If you feel overwhelmed with your sadness or feel that you really want to find out about your signs of depression, please do approach any GPs or clinics to get a referral to see a mental health doctor (psychiatrist) who can assess if you have any mental health issues.
If not, please continue to feel free to share here on this platform and reach out if you need to pour your heart out. We’ll be here for you!
Take care of yourself!
Don’t think about getting on anti-depressants. Once u get on them, you can’t get off easily and could get permanent damage. Withdrawal could be terrible including depression, panic attacks, akathisia. And you could become permanently impotent like myself.
Go and do some research about the meds. They’ve been linked to suicides and homocides - usually due to akathisia.
Exams and schooling years will be over some day. Don’t make a transient stressor turn into a lifelong health problem and live in regret like me and many others who fell for this trap.