I'm Feeling Anxious

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1

hi there!

i think im quite an anxious and overly ‘nice’ person, and feel like i always overthink things and am very critical of myself. in my head, i feel like it’s hard to support myself during difficult moments such as studying for my upcoming test, because there are more things to hate than love. i always approach my parents about my anxieties but i feel like i bombard them with too much that it’s probably better that i stop for a bit and give them a break, although i do second guess that too…

i feel that academically, i’m behind compared to many, or all of my friends. i find trouble in completing all my homework on time, and although reflecting back, i don’t feel too worried about a few subjects like Science and Maths, there are also a few other subjects I’m pretty worried about because i know I haven’t done enough yet. i also feel that as an above-average student usually for the past few years, i should be doing above-average / pretty well in these tests, but im worried that that won’t be the case.

my anxieties are also probably due to the fact that i have really high expectations of myself, but without expectations i feel i won’t achieve anything.

i also feel anxious about my relationships with others. i get worried about whether im being a good enough friend for others, or am being a good listener. something funny; i like searching online about how to be a better friend / listener / whether being anxious is okay / other questions i have and write them down in my Notion, because i believe that it can be beneficial to know, but now thinking back, maybe it’s not very good for me and is instead being redirected into negativity

but idk, i know im probably being delusional and overly drama, but i can’t stop being anxious about this? how do i stop being so anxious, or what should i do? sorry this might be a lot for people, just feel like putting it out there cause am quite overwhelmed and want to find out what i can try to do next time in the future

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Hi @asdhbt1234 !

I can see that you have been feeling anxious in the recent days. Just wanted to say, it’s okay to feel anxious sometimes as long as we know how to cope with it properly. to be frank, I feel equally anxious at the current point in time for the same thing as u, my studies.

Well I’m in a phase of uncertainty where, I don’t really know how things are gonna turn out with regards to my study path. However, I try to cope with this uncertainty by trying to take action in areas which can possibly be changed for the better. In my case - I do so by trying to prepare before hand for lessons.

Apparently, I read from a book - 'The twenty something treatment" by Meg Jay, that, there is this part of the brain called the amygdala which kinds of anticipates the not so plausible case scenarios, and helps to prepare one to tackle them. When this part of this brain gets active, we tend to worry and anticipate the negative case studies more. To the Resident Therapists, please correct me if I’m wrong!

Combat this, we have to get mindful. The author who is a psychologist recommends us to do a simple activity. take a second to pause and as calmly as possible, write down the things u can see, hear, touch, and smell on a piece of paper at that point of time.

I have done this and it works in reducing my anxiety!

You can try this activity too, and see how it goes! Cheers!
Remember ’ Nothing is impossible. The word itself says “I’m possible”. ~ Audrey Hepburn

3

Hi asdhbt1234

Thank you for bravely sharing what you are experiencing. I want to assure that the feelings you have expressed are 100% normal and only serves to remind us of what it is to be human :heart: I believe there is a mix of school stress, self criticism and social anxiety.

Before I continue I would like to give a quick shout out to lovelychange for sharing about the book, your experiences and how you have personally benefited from the mindfulness exercise :slight_smile:

May I also suggest the following for you to consider:

  1. Self-compassion: Practice kindness and understanding towards yourself. Acknowledge your efforts and accomplishments. You don’t have to compete with anyone. Run your own race. Improve daily.

  2. Realistic expectations: Set achievable goals and recognize that it’s normal and ok to make mistakes.

  3. Time management: Break tasks into smaller chunks, prioritize, and focus on one task at a time.

  4. Seek support: Continue talking to your parents, but also consider speaking with a school counsellor for additional guidance.

  5. Reflect on online research: Limit your searching to specific topics and set a timer to avoid excessive reading. Focus on constructive advice.

  6. Friendships: Communicate openly with friends, ask for feedback, and focus on nurturing meaningful relationships.

  7. Mindfulness and relaxation techniques: Explore stress-reducing activities like meditation, deep breathing, or yoga.

  8. Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small.

  9. Challenge negative thoughts: When anxious thoughts arise, try to reframe them in a more positive and realistic light.

  10. Take breaks and practice self-care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax.

Remember, overcoming anxiety takes time and patience. Be gentle with yourself and keep working towards self-improvement. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step. You can do this! :heart: