Im 15 years old turning 16 and im scare of literally everything. I dont know why am i so scared of everything all the time and i know that it has a toll on everyone close to me but i just cannot get rid of my fears. I am especially afraid of sleeping alone and i always need my mom to sleep with me and i know she probably gets annoyed because she thinks that i should be old enough to sleep by myself. I rlly want to learn how to sleep by myself without worrying but i cant no matter how much i tried and im so tired of being worried about it all the time. I really want to tell them what i am afraid of but i just cant. I wish i dont worry all the time and just relax so that my parents dont get annoyed at me all the time.
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Since u r still in secondary school, u can reach out to ur school counsellor
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Thanks for sharing @Idk2. It’s brave of you to share this because it’s not easy to admit when we’re struggling. Feeling scared “all the time” can be exhausting, especially when it feels like it’s affecting your family too.
Have you thought about why sleeping alone feels so scary? Is it the dark, being by yourself, or something else? Sometimes figuring out the “why” can help you tackle it bit by bit. Maybe you could start with small steps, like keeping a comforting item with you (a stuffed toy, a blanket, or even a light) or setting a goal to try a few minutes alone before asking for company. You don’t have to go all-in at once.
Hi @Idk2,
It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of anxiety right now, and I want to acknowledge how challenging that can be. Anxiety can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming, and it’s okay to seek help and support for it. Many people experience similar feelings, and you’re not alone in this. Taking small steps towards addressing your fears can make a big difference, and it’s important to be kind to yourself in the process.
One thing that might help is to gradually increase your comfort with sleeping alone. You could start by keeping a light on or using calming music or a white noise machine to create a soothing environment. It’s also helpful to establish a bedtime routine that includes relaxing activities like reading or deep breathing exercises. Remember that it’s okay to ask for support from your mom while you work on this – letting her know that you’re trying to overcome this fear might help her understand your perspective better.
It’s also important to find ways to express your feelings to your parents, even if it’s difficult. You could start by writing down your thoughts or practicing what you want to say. It might help to remind yourself that they care about you and want to help you feel better. Seeking support from a counselor or therapist could also be beneficial, as they can provide strategies and tools to manage your anxiety. You deserve to feel safe and at ease, and taking these steps can help you move towards that goal.
If you require assistance on where to seek help, CHAT is a good place to start. Here’s the link: https://www.imh.com.sg/CHAT/Get-Help/Pages/default.aspx
Hi @Idk2
Thank you for writing in and bringing up this experience. I’m glad you reached out for support. It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge and share your fears.
Firstly, please know that it’s completely normal to feel scared or anxious, especially during adolescence. Your brain is still developing, and it’s natural to experience fear and uncertainty.
It’s great that you’re aware of how your fears are affecting those close to you. Recognising this is the first step towards making positive changes.
Let’s tackle your fear of sleeping alone. It’s not uncommon for people to feel anxious or scared when sleeping alone, especially if they’re used to having someone else present.
Here are some suggestions to help you gradually become comfortable sleeping alone:
- Gradual exposure: Start by having your mom sleep in the same room, but in a separate bed. Gradually increase the distance between your beds over time.
- Nightlight or comforting object: Use a nightlight or keep a comforting object, like a stuffed animal or favorite blanket, to help you feel more secure.
- Relaxation techniques: Practice relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery, to calm your mind and body before sleep.
- Communicate with your mom: Have an open and honest conversation with your mom about your fears. She may be more understanding than you think, and it can help her support you better.
Regarding your fear of sharing your concerns with your parents, it’s helpful to remember that they want to support and help you. It might be helpful to start with small, low-stakes conversations to build your confidence.
- Choose the right time and place: Find a comfortable and private setting where you feel safe discussing your fears.
- Start small: Begin with small, manageable conversations about your fears, and gradually build up to more significant discussions.
- Use “I” statements: Instead of saying “you always,” say “I feel anxious when.” This helps to focus on your feelings and experiences.
Remember, overcoming fears takes time, patience, and support. Be gentle with yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it.
Keep in mind that you’re not alone, and many people have overcome their fears and anxieties. You got this!