hello, so my friend told me about this friend (X) they have
as an extrovert, X talk to a lot of classmates and know a lot of tea, ie knows dirt on everyone in the class.
that being said, X can still have a professional conversation with ABC, or even act like the hate isnt there but the next moment they go on and tell their closer friends things like ‘oh i dont like classmate ABC’
when my friend told me the story of this X person, i had 2 thoughts that come to my head:
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X is a two-faced person by going ‘i dont like ABC’ when ABC is not around, despite having an okay conversation with ABC
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how real X is for being able to keep it professional with someone they don’t like and sharing with trusted ones that they dont like ABC. because honestly, we dont have to like everyone
so im a lil conflicted how i should advice my friend if they should keep a distance from X or X is a trustable friend and would like to gather some of your thoughts on X. understand that this incident might be taken out of context/ may need more context, but my friend had been hurt before so i dont want them to get hurt again by X!
Hi @user8973,
It sounds like you’re in a tough spot right now, navigating the complexities of friendship. It’s completely understandable to feel conflicted about X’s behaviour, especially when trust is at stake. Friendships can often bring out a mix of emotions, and it’s tough when someone you care about acts in ways that don’t align with your values or expectations.
Have you considered how your friend feels about X’s behaviour? It might be valuable to discuss how they perceive X’s ability to maintain professionalism while privately holding different opinions. Reflecting on questions like: “How does this situation make my friend feel about their own boundaries?” or “Is it okay for X to share their feelings privately while still being cordial?” could provide clarity. It might also help your friend to set clear boundaries for what they expect in their friendships. Encourage them to surround themselves with people who appreciate and support their feelings, and remind them it’s okay to step back if they feel uncomfortable.
hello, I understand that can be really conflicting to manage, and perhaps you can also understand your friend’s viewpoint of the person and also share your experience. I agree with Obi Wan Kenobi as well!