Made a few mistakes at school and my friend group talked about me behind my back

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I am currently a student at a school and every thurs and fri, we are supposed to come to school to run a restaurant as part of our training. I get confused and unsure easily and sometimes when I feel like I messed up my work, I affect my team members and they will be irritated at me. My current team is also my “friend” group( even though I’m really only comfortable with a select few people), and I realised after training together that I just feel like I annoyed them to the point that deep down they are fed up with me.

They are the type of people with very strong personalities and have no qualms telling people off and I feel like they are not very understanding whenever mistakes happen. Because there were multiple moments where they criticise people’s skills amongst themselves whenever the person they are critiquing is not there and sometimes i feel like this happened to me too.:frowning:

Just today I heard my “friend” telling something to the team members talking bad about me after I made a mistake and after I left and I can’t help but let it affect my mood for the rest of the day. I feel like I am overreacting to the snide comment but I can’t help but keep crying as I am typing this down.

I just know that they’ll talk ■■■■ about my incompetencies again tomorrow when they meet up for a sch related event tom and I feel like I just can’t handle being friends with them anymore and staying in this course because I feel like they secretly dislike me deep down and also because sometimes I just don’t get people’s instructions and then proceed to make a mistake:(

Because of this I always dread training days and sometimes I feel like certain members are inclusive of me but sometimes they are not. There’s only 1 friend who I truly trust to talk about my reservations about certain members within my group but she’s in another team( which can’t be swapped).

I don’t know how to move on from it because I know they’ll be harsher on me if I decide to really completely cut them off and once I’m completely “out” of their friend group. I’ve already distance myself from a girl who constantly made me feel disrespected and who doesn’t seem to consider me a friend but I feel like if I keep distancing myself from more people, I’ll eventually be considered the “pariah” of my team who keeps messing up the workflow.

I just don’t know how to better myself at work even though I really tried my best to understand :downcast_face_with_sweat:. They’ll get frustrated if I ask them to keep on repeating themselves. If there’s any advice to offer and how I should move on from my feelings I’d love to hear

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Helloo @adaptableraindrop2474 ! The situation you’ve described sounds exhausting.. the combination of trying to learn a demanding skill, navigating a complicated social dynamic, and then overhearing something hurtful, all in the same day. It makes complete sense that you’re upset, and crying doesn’t mean you’re overreacting. It means something hurt you.

What you might want to think of is, on the work side, one thing that can really help when you’re someone who gets confused easily in fast-paced environments is to write things down as much as possible on a small notebook for example. When you receive an instruction, jot it down immediately. This reduces how often you need to ask someone to repeat themselves, which takes pressure off both you and them. It also helps to ask clarifying questions before service starts rather than during, when everyone is calmer and more patient. Something like “just to confirm, when X happens, I should do Y?” feels less disruptive than asking mid-rush.

On the social side, what you’re describing, people who gossip about others’ mistakes, have strong personalities, and aren’t very forgiving but it is a genuinely difficult environment to be in, and it’s not a reflection of your worth. Some people process stress by criticising others, and that says more about them than about you. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but it’s worth holding onto. You don’t have to make a dramatic decision about cutting people off. You can simply invest less emotionally in their opinions of you, while staying professionally cordial. The goal isn’t to be their close friend ~ it’s to get through your training and do well in your course. Your one trusted friend sounds like a real anchor; lean on her.

All the best @adaptableraindrop2474 ! :flexed_biceps:

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Tysm for replying :folded_hands: . Relating to your 2nd paragraph I have tried out the suggestions before but I’m scared that with my current course, I’m bound to upset my team again and then feel horrible and doubt my friendship with people. I always take down notes and try to listen attentively but I usually won’t get it unless I see the action being carried out ( I strongly suspect I have adhd but that’s another problem I have difficulty opening up to my parents about).

Relating to 3rd point how shld I try to invest less about other people’s emotions? I just find it very difficult to stay warm with people again after being scolded/talked bad about because inside i would feel very sulky. The girl was also a universally beloved person (but very hotheaded when angered) so I feel like I will ruin my chances of being cordial if everyone alr secretly hates me. Tbh I still feel heavy inside and find it hard to move on from just now and I don’t want to face my course training days again :confused: