Everybody hates me

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I feel like everybody hates me. All my friends hate me. And I know it’s partly my fault. For example, i want good grades and i blame my friend for not showing up or being 2 hours late or barely contributing. I cannot talk to them straight up although I once did and they apologized. But they continued the same behavior so I stopped talking to her not to ostracize her but because I just could not fake and act like i liked her when i was so disappointed in her behavior. To give more context, she had many CCAs, could never give time for group assignment. At first, she was my close friend and I could not confront her. I would say things in front of her to others saying my groupmates aren’t committed. I regret it. It was a bad way to deal with the problem. And her behavior continued the same way. When she showed up for group meetings, she would show up late despite my early reminders or phone calls. Then, she would not join the group call at all one day before the presentation day. That’s when i confronted her in the group and she did apologize. But after that, she showed up two hours later than the appointment time and when I refused to continue the meeting because of that, she acted like she was fed up with me and gave me attitude. In the end, for the assigment that we got A+ on, I wrote 33 out of 55 pages and she wrote 5. The content was based on hands-on practicals involving setting up servers, ethical hackinga, etc., so it took more time to produce it than just writing up some paragraphs.

Anyways, but she is really pretty and she talks sweetly to everyone so everyone likes her and now I’m the bad guy for not talking to her, and since she didn’t really hang out with other girls than me, it looked like she was left out. That was not my intention but I was too mad to change that. I talked to her again after two weeks. But everyone acts cold to me now. Some of her friends straight up act like they can’t even see me.

But I feel like everyone hates me and it was my fault. Now it’s effecting my daily life because whenever I say something to a friend, I would feel horribly guilty about it, thinking I’m such a bad person. I’m doubting everything I do. I cannot study well and everything is just going wrong.

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Dear @user4272

Thank you for reaching out. Reading your post I can see you were hurt, overwhelmed, and frustrated after carrying most of the workload for the group project. You were feeling unsupported, too and it was painful that your friend was unreliable and made little effort in the group despite your reminders. Anyone in your position would feel upset, especially when they care deeply about their grades and future.

Your frustration did not come out of nowhere. Your feelings are valid and I believe many others would empathise with what you endured.

Reading your post I gather that presently, your mind seems to be turning every interaction into proof that everyone hates you. Remember thoughts are just thoughts and they are not always the truth. This happens. When people are stressed, burnt out, or emotionally overwhelmed, the brain often focuses only on rejection, guilt, and worst case scenarios. That can make small changes in other people’s behaviour feel much bigger and more personal than they actually are.

You already recognise that indirectly expressing your frustration was not the best way to handle things, and the fact that you feel guilty about it shows wisdom, self awareness and empathy.

Do be gentle and compassionate to yourself acknowledging you are only human to have reacted the way you did. Give your friends and yourself time to let this incident pass.

How are you taking care of yourself as you navigate through this period? If possible reach out for support from a trusted adult such as a school lecturer or counsellor. You do not have to face this alone. :yellow_heart: