sorry for the long rant but I have no words to describe how I feel anymore life just hurts so much and my parents hate me my father can suddenly throw temper at me and use vulgar my mother can suddenly blame me for everything my parents treat everyone else so nicely but treat me like their slave and dog CCA conductor is so against me she scolds me when I wasn’t playing when many other ppl also didn’t hear her telling us to start playing my school betrayed me and called my father to school so everything I told my counsellor and teachers is now exposed and they even told my father to not let me know about this reminds me of how I got backstabbed by my friends last time and got bullied by them I feel like I’m such a bad friend cos I always say curse words and sometimes hurt other ppl without knowing because of what a demon I’ve become after suffering for so long everyday life feels too spoiled to be lived and my grades are also so bad this so called good sec sch is actually so bad i hate my life i want to die in peace i dont trust anyone rn really im so tired..
hey @LonelyShadow06
thank you for sharing your story here, it sounds like it’s been really challenging for you and it takes courage to share about how you feel 
it’s really unfair that your parents take their anger out on you for seemingly no reason 
and it doesn’t help when the stress of schoolwork and cca is adding on to all of this…. I really feel you, I found secondary school to be one of the most challenging times in life. navigating the pressure of having to excel in acads and the different dramas from your friend groups… it can all be really exhausting 
it can feel like you’re alone in this, but I assure you that you’re not. many other students feel the way you do, and i think you post would actually show others that it’s okay to feel this way sometimes. despite all the friend group drama, this is also the period of time where you find your real friends who will support you through it all. i might not completely understand your situation, but please have hope 
know that you are safe to talk about your feelings and struggles in this space, no one will judge you for this. please take care! 
thanks for ur kind words glad to know I’m not the only one feeling like this ig..but still thx not everyone will react like this when they see how I feel tysm <3 
Hey @LonelyShadow06,
You don’t need to apologise for talking. When someone has been holding a lot in, it doesn’t always come out clearly.
What I’m hearing isn’t that you’re a “demon.” It sounds like you’ve been hurt in several places at once… at home, in school, in CCA, and even in friendships. When things stack up like that, it can start to feel like everyone is against you and there’s nowhere safe to turn. That feeling makes sense given what you’ve described.
I also noticed that you’re worried about how you speak and whether you’ve hurt people without meaning to. The fact that you think about that tells me you care. Someone who truly didn’t care wouldn’t question themselves like that.
I hope that I can be of help to you, it does read like you want all this pressure to stop immediately. Out of everything you mentioned; your parents, school calling your father, CCA, your grades, which one feels the heaviest right now?
Let’s focus on one thing at a time.
probably my parents cos apparently I’m still suffering everyday and they are telling me that I’m gonna pay for all the costs of my glasses lenses and all those shits wth did I even do… I either feel empty or tired or nothing it rlly hurts like this and its torturing me..
It sounds like your mind keeps circling back to what your parents say. You replay it, question it, argue with it in your head but nothing changes. That back-and-forth is exhausting.
We can’t control what they say. And I’m not going to tell you to stop feeling anxious about it. Given what you’ve described, the anxiety makes sense.
But there is one part that is still yours. When they say something harsh, you don’t control the words. What you can slowly work on is whether those words become how you see yourself.
Right now it sounds like when they blame you or threaten you with things like money, it turns into “maybe I’m the problem” or “maybe I deserve this.” That’s the part we need to look at.
It’s possible your parents don’t know how to handle their frustration and it comes out as anger or threats. That doesn’t make it okay. But it also doesn’t automatically make what they say true.
Instead of trying to change them, start smaller. When something is said, separate:
- what was actually said,
- and what you are telling yourself it means about you.
That small gap is where your control is.
We’re not trying to win against them. We’re trying to stop their words from becoming your identity.