Everytime something happens its just like the whole world collapses. I dont have anyone to talk to when I feel tired or I want to vent my frustrations to. My father doesn’t take anything seriously and whenever I ask him to stop doing something stupid he’ll just start lecturing me on how he’s stupid for paying all my tuition fees. When I ask my mother she’ll always ask me to go away as she always feel that she doesn’t have enough space. My friends don’t know what’s going on in my life as I don’t try to show a gloomy side of myself, but with all the exams going on and what my parents have been doing to me, I don’t know what to do. No one really truly understands how I feel and I have no one to voice out to and I just wish I have someone to talk to. I sometimes don’t even feel like doing any homework when I get home and just want to take a nap or go to sleep. I wish my parents didn’t always assume I dislike to study and that im being rude, sometimes im just voicing out how I feel about some stuff they say that might be ridiculous but I always get put off as being disrespectful. Everytime something happens they’ll always compare me to my brother or their friends, but when I compare how they might have more support they’ll ask me to stop comparing. My brother is also significantly smarter and more successful than me in school and everything. Teachers always praise him but have nothing good to say about me aside from me being a nuisance, but I’ve been trying so hard to study and do better but no one seems to notice or care. Everytime im compared to him it feels so unfair as my parents have spoiled him since young and all the mannerisms and expectations placed on me have been removed once he became the youngest, my father always loves to say that my brother is his favourite child and that i’m his “incorrigible child” and even if he means it as a joke I had to deal with this since I was 7. I get that I was never a good son or student but it doesn’t make sense for me to be treated like this. Everytime I get in a fight or something my father will say how i’ve never made him proud even once in his life. And my mother never defends me from my father’s scolding or beatings since young even though she always does with my little brother. Outside of house I never really have friends to discuss the topic, the closest I had was a girlfriend who I would tell my problems to but we broke up awhile ago and it seems like I have no one to tell this to. I don’t think i’ll find a solution to this and that I just have to bear with it for awhile more but at least i’ve got this off my chest.
Hi kangaroo12
Thank you for sharing your deeply felt concerns. It takes a huge dose courage to express your feelings. I am glad you are seeking help and exploring ways to reduce the current pain and hurt you are undergoing. Your feelings are fully valid and understandable. You feel unappreciated, unsupported and home has not been safe. That’s a lot to take in, I agree.
I recommend you speak to a school counsellor or a trusted teacher soon to get some support. The counsellor can provide a safe space for you to process your feelings. He/she can coach you on skills needed such as emotional management, expressing your views in a calm way, engaging parents, managing anxiety. Your teacher could help you with extra lessons, and in guiding on study techniques, managing time, prioritising.
Please also :
-Do regular Self-care: Engage in activities bringing you comfort (exercise, hobbies). Join CCAs and develop skills and friendships.
-Journal: Write down emotions and thoughts.
-Set boundaries: Learn to assertively express needs.
Remember, your feelings are valid, and seeking help is strength. Please know you are precious and worthy of love support and kindness. Stay focused on your goals and continue to improve daily no matter how small the growth is. You will see progress before you know it.
Hey @kangaroo12 , what you’re going through sounds overwhelming and suffocating. I think you’re very brave for taking the step of reaching out on this platform. I hear you, and I hope that you find strength in yourself and in everyone’s replies. Meanwhile, here are some things you can try:
- Journal/Message your thoughts. Even the act of texting yourself makes it seem like you’re ranting to a friend. Note down what triggered these feelings specifically, how you reacted, and how you made yourself feel better.
- Focus on things that heal and recharge you. Doing things alone can be therapeutic, such as eating something you enjoy, bringing yourself out on walks, exercising, or engaging in your hobbies and interests. It’s important to know your coping habits and what actually helps you breathe through life.
- Remind yourself that you are proud of you. Note down the things you survived through, the strength it took, and reward yourself for them. You are just one person and shouldn’t be holding the weight of the world on your shoulders.
I hope you find and remember things that bring you strength. We can’t control everything in life, but we can control how we react and cope.