recently I’m actually so tired of life I cant have my own opinions, I can get scolded any time with vulgar and life is just impossible to live rn school is also killing me I didn’t do homework I don’t listen in class and to make things worse the topics we are learning in school is related to family and parents I hate this topic my father is just a monster who can scold me for whatever he thinks of my mother is another dog who helps my father I feel like nobody loves me why cant I just kill myself and die in peace.. yea I have always been feeling like this but recently it just got worse my mother started to hate me also..
Hey @LonelyShadow06,
What you’re describing sounds exhausting and overwhelming. Being scolded, watched, and feeling like you don’t get a say in anything would wear anyone down. When both school and home feel heavy at the same time, it can start to feel like there’s nowhere to rest.
We talked earlier about reaching out to National Mindline (1771), not as a way to judge you, but to help figure out what kind of support might actually ease some of this. Sometimes wanting everything to stop comes from the pressure being too much, and that’s different from wanting to hurt yourself, even though both feel awful to sit with.
For now, let’s slow it down and get clear on what feels most impossible right now. We can take this one step at a time.
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I’m really, really sorry you’re living with this much pain. What you wrote sounds overwhelming and lonely, and being shouted at, insulted, and not allowed to have your own opinions can make anyone feel trapped and powerless. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially not by the people who are supposed to protect them.
I want to say this clearly and gently: when you say “why can’t I just kill myself and die in peace”, that tells me you’re hurting a lot right now, and your safety matters. I can’t help with anything that would harm you but I do want to help you get through this moment.
Right now, you don’t need to solve your family situation or school or homework. You just need support and someone on your side. If you’re in Singapore, please reach out to:
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SOS Singapore: 1767 (24 hours)
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If you’re in immediate danger, please call 995 or go to the nearest A&E
You can tell them exactly what you shared: that you feel unloved, trapped, and exhausted. You don’t need the “right words.”
If calling feels impossible, is there one safe person you can message right now, a teacher, school counsellor, relative, or friend and say: “I’m not okay and I need help.” You shouldn’t have to carry this alone.
About school: it makes sense that you’re struggling to focus when home feels unsafe and painful. Topics about “family” can hurt deeply when your own experience is full of fear and anger. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, it means your environment is hurting you. I do want to check in with you: are you safe right now? If things feel like they might get worse, please reach out to emergency help or SOS immediately.
You are not unlovable. You are not weak for feeling this way. This pain is real and it can change with support, even if you can’t see that right now. I’m glad you spoke up here. Please let someone help you through.
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Thx for being the few who don’t judge me 
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Hey @LonelyShadow06,
I understand that @fuyuan_affections and I have discussed this with you in a previous conversation.
I hear your concerns about not trusting the school counsellor. Many people share this worry, especially when home already feels tense. However, I would like to gently remind you that counsellors are there to help and support you, not to get you into trouble. Their role is to look out for your well-being, especially during overwhelming times when it may be difficult to cope on your own.
Would you be able to share why you’re not comfortable with the counsellor? Was there an incident that made you feel this way? Understanding the cause of your anxiety might help us to find a resolution together.
That’s okay, it really is fine if you don’t trust your school counsellor. Being vulnerable takes a certain level of chemistry and safety, and you can’t force that with just anyone. Not clicking with one counsellor doesn’t mean counselling won’t help you, it just means that person isn’t the right fit.
What matters is that you don’t give up on support altogether. There are other counsellors (outside school, helplines, community services) who might feel safer and more understanding for you. You’re allowed to look for someone who actually listens and doesn’t make you feel worse for opening up.
About your Chinese teacher, being scolded for homework or “attitude” when you’re already barely coping can feel crushing. Teachers don’t always see what’s going on beneath the surface, and that doesn’t invalidate your pain. Feeling angry in that moment is understandable; it’s your mind reacting to feeling unseen and pushed when you’re already at your limit. What matters is keeping you safe and supported through it.
Given how intense things feel right now, please still reach out to someone, even if it’s not the school counsellor. You deserve help that feels right for you, not help you have to force yourself into
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my primary school teachers and counsellors told me that they will keep everything private but the next day my mother got called to school also idk why I just don’t trust anyone anymore I feel like anyone could stab me in the back any moment that was what I learnt years ago when I got bullied
the more annoying thing about my Chinese teacher is that I told her I don’t want to talk to her about this thing and I wanted to go CCA but she just don’t f***ing understand hints she said I can excuse u from CCA does she not know its a rlly sensitive topic for me also she said this is very important and what I’m so young or some ■■■■ who cares if I’m young she told me she understands but I don’t think so yes I know teachers roles is to help students study but not scold them for their PERSONAL REASONS shes so damn annoying I’m having a lot of killing thoughts rn.. also I’m kind of surprised you understand my anger so thanks..
I’m really glad you told me this, and I’m really glad you noticed that someone understanding your anger helped a little. Your anger makes sense, you did set a boundary, and it wasn’t respected. When a teacher pushes on a topic you’ve clearly said is sensitive, especially in front of CCA and other pressures, that can feel violating and suffocating.
At the same time, I need to be very clear and gentle with you: I can’t support harming anyone. The fact that you’re having killing thoughts right now tells me your emotions are overflowing, not that you actually want to hurt someone. This is your mind screaming, “Stop. This is too much.”
Let’s pause this moment together for a second:
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Put your phone down briefly.
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Take one slow breath in for 4 seconds, out for 6.
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Remind yourself: “I don’t need to act on these thoughts. They will pass.”
About your teacher….teachers often think “important” means academic urgency, but they don’t always understand emotional readiness. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong or immature. You were trying to protect yourself, and that matters.
But because you’ve said you’re having killing thoughts right now, it’s really important you don’t stay alone with this. Please reach out to:
- SOS 1767 (24/7), you can say, “I’m overwhelmed and having violent thoughts. I need help calming down.”
Thank you for trusting me with something this intense. I do understand your anger and you deserve support that helps you feel safe, not pushed past your limits. Please let someone be with you through this moment.
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Thank you for being so supportive not everyone sees me like this they see me as lazy demon whose so evil
You are most welcome and I’m really sorry you’ve been made to feel that way before. The fact that you care, reflect, and want to do better already tells a very different story. You deserve compassion, especially from yourself too!! Feel free to share more or update us when you feel like it 
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