hi, i feel like its time to change the way i think and my mindset but theres a few problems
about 2 years ago i started self harm and i now have permanent scars on my forearms thighs and shoulders. i wont get into why but i’m sick of feeling like ■■■■ and i want a normal life
ive been thinking of seeing my schools councellor but im worried they will call my mom
also just an additional fact i relapsed today because a girl in my school tried to commit suicide by jumping off the roof and idk why nobody is taking it seriously like its so annoying why is suicide and self harm so normalised nowadays like i could name 30 people in my grade who have hurt themselves
okay anyways back to the topic my teacher found out i self harm and told me to get help so im considering it
but if i go like i dont even know what to say to them
like yeah my life is ■■■■■■ but i dont know why i feel this way i mean theres some things that happened 4 years ago that affected me deeply but that was so long ago why do i still even care about it and why does it affect me so much
so why would i go? theres nothing the counsellor can do for me because i dont have any problems to solve
like i have no reason for why my life feels like this
so why do i feel like this all the time?
and if i go they’ll probably tell me some bullshit like so breathing exercises or yoga or something like ive already tried that and it doesnt work
I just want to start off by saying that it’s really meaningful that you want to change how you’re feeling and build a different life for yourself, that kind of awareness takes a lot of courage, especially when things feel as heavy as they do for you right now.
On the counsellor question, your worry about your mum finding out makes a lot of sense. School counsellors generally keep things confidential, and most won’t contact a parent unless they feel there’s an immediate risk to your safety. That said, you don’t have to just take my word for it. You could actually ask the counsellor directly about their confidentiality policy before you share anything personal. That’s completely ok to do, and a good counsellor will respect that question. It gives you a chance to understand the boundaries before deciding how much to share.
I also want to gently check in, you mentioned you relapsed today. How are you doing right now, physically? Are you okay?
If you do decide to go for counselling, you really don’t have to walk in with everything figured out or have any explanations ready. You could start as simply as “I’ve been struggling and I don’t really know why”, that’s enough too. You don’t need a clear reason or a problem to solve. The counsellor’s job is to help you make sense of things. Plus, the things from 4 years ago? The fact that they still affect you isn’t strange or weak. Sometimes the things that hit us hardest take a long time to process, and that’s exactly the kind of thing you can share with your school counsellor.
And if breathing exercises and yoga feel useless to you, tell your school counsellor that. A good counsellor won’t be offended, and it actually helps them understand what does and doesn’t work for you so they can try something different.
You clearly have a lot going on, and you deserve proper support. Please do consider reaching out, whether to your school counsellor or to a mental health helpline like National Mindline 1771 @ 1771 which is available 24/7 if you ever need someone to talk to outside of school.