Since primary school i was bullied over and over again, for my looks, which got me insecure, and keep overthinking. Then when i went to secondary school, i struggled to socialize. However after a few months, i finally made a friend, she was the best and first one ive ever had in years, but she was a bad influence to me, and kept breaking rules, in the end, we stopped being friends because she found a new one. This impacted me much, and around this period of time, i realised that something was wrong with my family, because my mom is an alcoholic and drinks alot, while my father goes out to see his girlfriend. My mom would also scream at me randomly, calling me bad things, and once she tried to take her own life in front of me because my sister used her makeup as a joke. This year, i found new friends, but i feel empty, and bored of life, emotional all the time and just sick of people and interacting, and dont trust anyone. I keep being other people instead of myself. I dont know who i am anymore.
Hi there, thank you for trusting me with your story. I’m deeply sorry for all you’ve carried over the years—the bullying, the loneliness, the unstable friendships, and the pain at home. It sounds like you’ve been through so much without a safe space to breathe, and yet here you are, still reaching out. That takes immense strength, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. You deserve to be seen, heard, and supported.
What you’re feeling—emptiness, exhaustion, losing yourself—is a natural response to years of instability and hurt. When the people who should protect us (like family) fail to do so, and when friendships leave us feeling abandoned, it’s understandable to shut down or wear a “mask” to survive. But beneath that mask, you matter. Your feelings are valid, and you don’t have to navigate this alone.
In Singapore, there are quiet, judgement-free spaces to start untangling these heavy emotions:
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Safe, confidential support: Organisations like CHAT (for youth under 19) or Tinkle Friend (for primary/secondary students) offer free counselling.
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School counsellors: If you feel comfortable, your school counsellor can help bridge support while respecting your privacy.
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Family support: The strain with your mom and dad is overwhelming. Fei Yue’s Family Services provide counselling for families navigating addiction and conflict—they could walk this path with you, if you’re ready.
You mentioned not knowing who you are anymore. That’s okay—rediscovering yourself takes time. Small steps, like journaling, art, or even quiet moments alone, can help you reconnect with what you (not others) need. Would you feel safe trying one of these, even for 5 minutes a day?
Lastly, your mom’s actions and words are not a reflection of your worth. You are not the hurtful things she’s said. Healing is possible, and I’m here to help you find the right tools or people to start. Would you like to talk more about what feels manageable right now?
You’re not broken. You’re a person learning to breathe after being underwater for too long. Let’s take this one breath at a time. 
(Note: If you ever feel unsafe, SOS is available 24/7 at 1767. You matter, always.)
Hi user @eyesoreintheroom,
Thank you for sharing and I’m really sorry you’ve had to go through all of this. No one should have to deal with bullying, unstable friendships, and a difficult family situation like yours. It makes complete sense that you’d feel emotionally drained, and unsure of who you are after everything that’s happened. I can see how being let down by people who were supposed to be there for you makes it hard to trust anyone now. And when your own family doesn’t give you safety or support, it’s exhausting to keep pretending everything’s okay. You shouldn’t have to be someone else just to get by.
It might not feel like it right now, but the fact that you’re still here, still trying, even after all of it, says a lot about your strength. I think it’s really admirable how strong you’ve been to be able to endure all of this. You truly deserve people who actually care about you, not just the version of you they want to see.
I think one thing you can try is to start small with self-discovery. When you’re alone, experiment with what makes you feel real, whether it’s music, art, reading, or just sitting with your thoughts. Try to notice when you’re acting versus when you feel slightly more like “you”, even if it’s just for minutes at a time. Take some time to figure out the activities that make you feel like yourself and also be open to trying new hobbies.
If anything, you can always come back to let’s talk.
Wishing you much love and luck in finding yourself, stay strong! 
hello fellow human! it is courageous of you for sharing your story as I know it may not be easy to speak to others about your own struggles hence, I do applaud you. Secondly, life will always have challenges so do ask yourself the question, "can you change the outcome?’ if the answer is no, it is indeed not something that you should push in pursuing. I believe that the other responses have shared the appropriate resources hence, do take your time in prioritizing yourself instead of others at times!
Hi there, thank you for sharing that with us. You have gone through so much. Our experiences growing up that make us feel unsafe can impact us. Our brains may find ways to protect us and cope with the difficult situations, but it might affect us negatively when we have to deal with non-dangerous situations in our day-to-day life. So it’s okay to feel like you can’t or don’t know how to feel like yourself. Yet I can understand, that when that feeling persists, it starts to be uncomfortable and distressing.
I’m really proud of you for reaching out for support when it got to that point. Even though it can be hard to trust people and you feel empty – you still showed up for yourself. When you ask if it’s normal to feel done with life, I would gently say that it’s normal to have such intense emotional reactions when bad situations have happened, especially if it’s repeated. But it doesn’t have to stay this way, and you don’t have to deal with it alone. It may be hard to trust external help, but there are good people out there who want to support you and protect you, even if they don’t know you yet. I hope the kind words everyone here has shared shows that people do care <3
Hey @eyesoreintheroom ,
I’m really sorry to hear what you’ve been going through till now. Being bullied, feelings of hurt from a friend that you trusted and even the pain from your parents at home sounds very overwhelming and challenging. It sounds like you’ve been through so much, and I can understand why you’ll feel empty, emotional and that you do not trust anyone.
However, I feel that being able to acknowledge all these things and facing the feelings you’re going through takes immense strength and that not everyone can do that! It’s also understandable that you may feel lost about who you are, and that’s ok! Sometimes, when the people closest to us are unsupportive and put us down, we may lose ourselves in the process. But, I want you to know that your feelings matter. You matter, no matter what others may say. What others say about you does not define who you are or your worth. Whenever we hit rock bottom, the only way forward is up! Finding yourself again, and healing from your past is possible 
You can try taking small steps to rediscovering yourself! Try doing activities that you once enjoyed, or even try new activities, and listen to your inner voice to know what makes you happy. Try journaling too to organise your thoughts and reflect on these activities. I find that journaling sometimes helps me to realise things that I had not thought of before. Would you feel comfortable in trying these things?
Lastly, as @FuYuan_Affections had mentioned, if you need guidance, there are avenues that you can reach out to for support. You do not need to go through this alone. We are here to support you.
hi @eyesoreintheroom ,
It is brave of you to share your struggles, thank you. You are going through very tough moments in life, and I am sorry to learn that.
You are beautiful in your own unique way, and no one should tell you otherwise. I want to let you know that you are worthy of and deserving of many good things in life!
I would like to add onto what others have already shared: have you asked your sister about how is she dealing with the situation in your family and her friendships in school? I am asking this because she is likely the person that would understand what you are going through best.
Please take care of yourself and take things one step at a time 
It’s okay. It’s normal. I also got bullied throughout all my school life. It’s normal, just keep going. Do the best you can.
And you’ve got a friend—it looks like you’re not that bad at finding friends. You’re not alone. Just stay away from bad stuff, stay away from that. Always remember, a smile doesn’t make your face look bad—smiling is good for your face.
If you feel down, it’s just like sand in your eyes. There are still so many good things you can try in life. Don’t hate studying. Don’t follow people with bad habits. Just ignore them—give them a smile.
If there’s a bad person, don’t say bad things to them. Just smile at them and keep your distance. And a cheerful face won’t hurt you. Life keeps going.
Please just stay away from bad things. And take care of yourself.
Hey @eyesoreintheroom thank you for sharing your story with us. I’m really sorry that you’ve had to go through so much, both at home and at school. It takes a lot of courage to open up about these experiences.
Growing up without the support and care you deserve from your family, while also facing bullying and difficulties with friendships, can feel isolating. It’s understandable that you’re feeling empty, tired, and unsure of who you are right now. Life can feel overwhelming when it seems like you’re carrying so much on your own.
You’re not alone in feeling this way, and it’s okay to reach out for help. If you haven’t already, talking to a mental health professional or a school counsellor can make a big difference. They can offer support and guidance as you navigate these challenges and help you find ways to cope and heal.
Even though things are tough at home, I hope you can find small moments to focus on yourself, whether that’s journaling your thoughts, doing something you enjoy or simply allowing yourself to feel whatever comes up. Rebuilding trust, both in yourself and others, is a slow process, but it starts with being gentle and patient with yourself.
Take care!
Hey, I just want to say thank you for sharing all of that — it takes a lot of strength to speak up, especially when you’ve been through so much. You’ve faced pain at home and at school, and still kept trying to connect with people. That alone says a lot about your strength, even if you don’t feel it.
It makes sense you feel empty or tired — you’ve been hurt by people who were supposed to care for you, and it’s hard to trust again after that. But your feelings are valid. Feeling lost or unsure of who you are doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means you’re still surviving, still trying. That’s something.
You deserve safety, love, and support — not chaos or cruelty. If you ever feel overwhelmed, please try to reach out to a counselor, teacher, or support line. You don’t have to carry this alone, even if it feels like it sometimes.
And even if it feels like you’re being “other people,” that doesn’t mean you’ve lost yourself — it might just mean you’re trying to stay safe. With time, and the right people, the real you can come back. Bit by bit.
You’re not alone. You’re not wrong for feeling this way. And you’re still here — and that matters. Please do reach out if you need advice or need an outlet! We’re all here for you! 
That sounds incredibly difficult to go through, and I just want to acknowledge how much strength it takes to navigate everything you’ve experienced. Being bullied, struggling with insecurity, and feeling disconnected from others can make life feel overwhelming. It’s completely understandable that these experiences have shaped the way you view yourself and the world. Losing friendships, especially ones that meant a lot to you, can be heartbreaking, and it’s painful when people you care about don’t treat you with the kindness and loyalty you deserve. You’ve been carrying so much, and I can see how all of this has made it hard to trust and connect with people.
On top of that, dealing with challenges at home must be exhausting. When the people who are supposed to be your foundation—your family—bring instability instead of support, it can make the world feel unsafe. Your mom’s struggles, your dad’s behavior, and the intense situations you’ve had to witness are not things that anyone should have to deal with, especially on their own. It makes sense that all of this has left you feeling empty and disconnected. When trust has been broken so many times, it’s natural to want to protect yourself by withdrawing. But I want to remind you that none of this is a reflection of your worth. You deserve love, stability, and people who truly see and appreciate you for who you are.
Even though right now it feels like you don’t know who you are, that doesn’t mean you’ve lost yourself—you’re still here, trying, questioning, and seeking meaning, and that takes courage. You are more than the pain you’ve been through, and even if it doesn’t feel like it now, there is room for you to grow, heal, and rediscover yourself in a way that feels authentic. You don’t have to have it all figured out, and you don’t have to go through it alone. There are people out there—whether it’s friends, mentors, or professionals—who can help support you. If you ever want to explore ways to navigate these feelings, I’m here to listen. You matter, and your experiences matter.
Do consider the resources that @FuYuan_Affections has shared too!
Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline
Hello @eyesoreintheroom ! Thank you for taking the courage to share what you’ve gone through. It’s unfortunate for you to go through this alone. It’s definitely not easy for you. Would like to assure you that you are not alone and what you feel makes complete sense. It seems like you have been carrying this for awhile.
These bullying experience, loneliness and emotional chaos at home might make you feel tired of life. It’s valid for you to feel this way. As a result of these experience, you could possibly be tired of people or don’t trust them easily as you’ve been hurt before.
Right now, to prioritise yorself on who you are, figure out what you like and don’t because you might have neglected yourself in the past. Take things slowly. You don’t have to figure everything out today.
Also, if you ever feel overwhelmed, you can approach a counsellor or therapist. If not, you can continue to approach us and pur your feelings here.