It’s been 2 years

I’ve been worrying over something for 8 years, but only the last 2 years have i been worried over this issue every single day. Every night the worry gets the better of me and i start sobbing uncontrollably, i wake up with my bed sheets wet due to sweat, my nail peeling and the numbing feeling in my head is getting worse. Nowadays i can’t hold a conversation with the people around me due to the urge of crying and js trying to compose myself. My brain finds new things to worry obsess over and it found a new one recently and it is hindering me if any energy to focus on my work. I’ve thought about the sleeping pills on my bed frame some nights when my brain gets too noisy but i think about how selfish i’m being to my parents so i stop.

I cannot get through the day without checking if i’m still anxious over whatever i’m anxious about. Each time i check myself, it gets worse and it ruins my mood and nowadays i just sleep without doing work. The noms i once read is not as enjoyable anymore and i can’t distract myself with music anymore. I’m scared of my brain now pls help

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Hi Potatonparsley,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing about your experience. It must have been really overwhelming being plagued by worries and anxious thoughts every single day. You mentioned sobbing uncontrollably at night when the ‘brain gets too noisy’; and losing the ability to focus on tasks or to do things that you used to enjoy. I can imagine how difficult the experience has been for you and I’m so glad that you managed to find this platform to talk about it.

Firstly, while your worrying may seem or feel like a constant in your life, know that such tendency is a mental habit that can be altered. You can train your brain to tame the anxious thoughts and regain control over the situation. Here are a few steps that you may try:

  1. Identify it—Identify what you are worried about and distinguish between solvable and unsolvable worries. Write them down using a piece of paper. If the worries are solvable, brainstorm a list of possible solutions, as many as you can. Evaluate and pick the ones that you can address in the short term, then make an action plan. This helps put your worries into perspective and enable you to realise that you actually have the power to make the change you want.

  2. Notice it—If the worries are unsolvable, rather than actively trying to change, fight, or suppress your thoughts, take a step back and look at your thoughts as they are. Notice that you’re having the thoughts and say to yourself ‘I am having the thought that… and this is making me feel…’. Try imagining the thought (and any new worrying thoughts) as clouds drifting through the sky. Let them come and go. Even if they don’t seem to be going away, let them be there. Know that you can simply observe your thoughts without engaging them.

  3. Schedule—Rather than letting the worry dominate your whole day and affecting how you relate to people as well as carrying out your daily tasks, set a daily worrying period. Choose a fix time and place for your worrying (e.g. 3pm-3.15pm in your room). Put this on your daily agenda and make it consistent. When the time arrives, worry as much as you want. Once this 15 minutes have elapsed, put the worries away and transition back to your daily routine. If you find yourself worrying outside of the scheduled time, acknowledge that and gently remind yourself to save it for the worry time.

  4. Interrupt the worry cycle—If the worry gets really intense and overwhelming to the extend that you feel like you are spiralling out of control, get up and leave the current place. Go out for a walk or visit a friend. If changing the environment is not possible, change the atmosphere. Turn on your favorite songs or take a long shower. It may be difficult in the beginning but the more you do this the easier it gets. Persistent and consistent is the key.

  5. Talk it out—Find someone whom you trust and share with them about what is troubling you. Verbalising your worries may help to alleviate some of the anxiety and connecting with others may help to offer a fresh perspective to your worries.

Finally, being caught in a cycle of worry that never seems to end may feel scary and isolating, but know that you don’t have to suffer alone as help is always available. Do consider visiting a clinical professional if the worrying persists and you sense that it’s interfering with your physical and mental health.

I hope this help. Know that you deserve peace of mind and you have the power to make the change you want. Take good care (:

Hello @Potatonparsley sorry to hear what you are doing through. Can I recommend that you try this self-assessment on mindline - You may benefit from speaking with a school counsellor or doctor if your feelings of sadness and anxiety are persistent.

What are some of the things you worry about @Potatonparsley? I think you’re not alone. I’ve not faced this before but I have this friend who is constantly worried about getting into car accidents or even Singapore getting into a war with other countries. Like what @bon suggests, I think verbalising it could help. We’re here for you. :people_hugging: