I’ve been in a break for a while, a few months without school, but this happens even when I do have school.
First thing is that I tend to replay social interactions multiple times after they are over, agonising on whether I said something wrong, even when I haven’t. This applies to simple conversations with acquaintances, strangers(like when buying food), classmates or even short phones calls. It’s really annoying because I keep thinking of it even when I don’t want to and I feel like I’m over-reacting.
This leads me to the second thing, disliking phone calls and even text messaging acquaintances about work, I would keep procrastinating or pretend I haven’t seen their texts yet. This also makes me dread every social interaction I need to have with people outside of my close social circle.
As an introvert who scored 99% inversion on personality tests, I wonder if this is just being shy or something else. Also, I just found this platform and would like to thank all the people who are supporting others, you are appreciated❤️
Happened to me a lot, i cringe over my social interactions in the past and these unwanted ruminations haunt me.
What helps is not being alone in my room cuz that causes the ruminations. CBT helps a lot w the unwanted ruminations. I went thru therapy b4, now I’ll just use ai, journalling, cardio and socialising to get rid of ruminations.
Hello @Sulis! First of all, you’re not the only one who feels this way. After conversations, many individuals, particularly introverts, suffer from this kind of social anxiety and overthinking. It just indicates that your brain is working a bit harder to absorb social circumstances, not that you’re flawed.
Although thinking over what you said and replaying talks in your mind shows that you are concerned about how you come across, try to keep in mind that most people don’t recall little things as well as you do. They are too preoccupied with their own concerns and ideas to think about anything you say.
It’s also quite typical to fear calls and texts. If you’re typically shy, social interactions—even those that take place online—can be taxing or unpleasant. Although it’s OK to take your time answering, you may discover that just sending the message and persevering through it helps to reduce your anxiety—it’s often not as horrible as our imaginations make it seem.
You’re certainly not alone in this, and you’re not overreacting. Treat yourself with kindness. Your emotions are real and do not negatively define who you are. Welcome to this platform, too! You are also valued.
Hey @Sulis, I can see that you’ve been dealing with a lot of inner struggle around social interactions, and constantly replaying conversations or avoiding people out of fear or discomfort must make you feel exhausted too. Do you feel like the pressure of wanting to fit in or say the “right” things?
It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling anxious about social interactions, especially if they don’t feel like they’re coming naturally to you. It’s okay to feel uncertain or overwhelmed, and you’re not alone in experiencing these emotions. You’ve mentioned that this happens even with small interactions, like buying food or texting classmates, which shows how much weight you’re placing on every conversation. This often happens when there’s a fear of being judged or not meeting some invisible standard. It can make every social moment feel like a test.
The fact that you’re reflecting on this and seeking support shows a lot of awareness and courage—these are strengths. You’re noticing the patterns, and that awareness is the first step towards growth. Your feelings of discomfort are valid, and it’s important that we acknowledge them rather than dismiss them as “over-reacting.” It’s also okay to feel shy or unsure sometimes. Many people experience similar struggles, and you’re not stupid for feeling this way.
You’ve also mentioned that you’ve been avoiding phone calls and text messages, which suggests you’re trying to protect yourself from discomfort. It’s okay to take small steps toward facing these situations, and you don’t have to be perfect. Each step, even a small one, is progress. Maybe we can start by recognising that these social situations don’t define you—your worth isn’t tied to every conversation or text message.
Can you think of any times recently when you felt a little bit more at ease in a social situation, even if it was just a small moment? I’d love to explore what made those moments feel less overwhelming. And if it feels right for you, you might consider trying some small exercises, like grounding techniques, to help reduce the physical anxiety during those moments of discomfort.
If there’s someone you trust, perhaps a close friend or someone at school, would it feel okay to reach out to them for support when you’re feeling this way? You don’t have to go through this alone, and they might be able to offer understanding and kindness as you navigate these feelings.
Remember, it’s okay to take your time with this. Every step you take to understand your feelings and navigate your fears is a sign of strength, not weakness. You are deserving of peace and acceptance, both from others and yourself.
Let us know if you’d like to talk more about this or if there’s a specific situation you’d like to explore further.