Okay since I was young I really don’t like to socialize much. However I still remember there are times where my mother forced me to mingle with other kids, when I grow up, she will say things like you better go out with your friends otherwise you will be lonely, when I go out to overseas trip on my own, she said you will have to go with your friends otherwise you will be lonely. I really hate this situation is because it is like I do not have the means to stand up on my own foot. Now I’m at the age of 37, it was once I really flare up and actually close the door on her, she started calling me name and actually is very mean. This is a very selfish behavior which I don’t like. Actually I wanted very much to move out however the cost of living in Singapore is very high. I’m holding a relatively stable job however I do not like to socialize at the workplace, I find that the workplace is very noisy and I often like to find excuse to stay of the office room
The positive side of my mother is:
she has never asked me for allowance and she’s quite self-dependent
Hey @user1811 It is completely alright to be grown up as an introvert. We all know that we need a little bit of “me time”, that is time for yourself. Please don’t take it as a pressure that your mom keeps nagging you to socialise with others and take it slow. However I do encourage you to socialise with at least a few people whom you feel really comfortable with as its really important to have someone by your side when you need them I get it that feel like your mom feels you can’t stand up on your own feet but that’s not true, getting to know people and having someone to talk to during your tough or happy times is a genuine feeling I hope you feel better about this and I’ll always be here if you need to talk about anything!!
I’m really sorry you have to go through this especially when it’s from your mother but always keep in mind that you are the one who gets to choose whats best for you! Don’t let others guilt trip or emotional blackmail get you to change yourself. On the other hand you can calmly try talking to your mom about how her words make you feel, but this depends on your situation. Your mental wellbeing and happiness matter too
I am the opposite. My mom didnt allow me to go out w frens n i had to cope being alone in my room until i became a socially clueless weirdo when i started poly and she asked me why i am such a loner. Im like wtf
At times my folks can sound like that too, ustand where u are coming from. from what u have shared, u have tried to create boundaries even if she doesn’t like. That’s good step on yr part. Look up emotional immature parents-- the older Gen tends to sound quite extreme.
Ahh what u are describing: the workplace is very noisy and I often like to find excuse to stay of the office room – it sounds like being overstimulated. As introvert, need to have enough solo time to recharge. Im like this too, luckily my wkplace is huge enough i can find somewhere quiet to be
Hope u can find a quiet space. you’re not alone
It sounds like you’ve had a difficult time growing up where you were made to do things you didn’t want to do. It is so sucky to not have the space to say or do what we want and my heart goes out to you. What has been the spaces you carved out for yourself to do what you want nowadays?
I get it that feel like your mom feels you can’t stand up on your own feet but that’s not true, getting to know people and having someone to talk to during your tough or happy times is a genuine feeling