hello, i’m new here. didnt have anywhere else to rant/vent to, bcse the people around me dont seem to understand the things i’m saying or feeling. i’m a sahm of 3. during my free time, i’d either read books or take a nap. growing up, the r/s around me wasnt great at all. so now that i’m a mother, i hope to raise my kids in a happy, non-judgemental environment. but as soon as i didnt want to partake in social settings bcse of the people involved, everyone started to talk about how selfish i was, for not bringing the kids around families. but the thing is, these are the very same people who have done or said hurtful things to me (directly or indirectly). the same people who think they are always right just bcse they’re older and “know better”. i’ve been constantly told to be the bigger person, and its always “thats just how she is”. i feel like it doesnt solve anything. i’m not asking for anyone to understand me but to not judge me for my decision to not bring my kids around these people. so am i wrong for that?
Hi @shiningflower13 
Firstly, I just want to say that you are strong and I really admire your mindset of wanting to raise your children in a healthier environment than the one you had. From what you have written, it sounds like you have been subject to such treatment from these family members for an extended period of time, and I hear that this must be really emotionally overwhelming for you. You are not in the wrong for wanting to protect your children from such treatment. You are also right in saying that being older ≠ being wiser. If they are unable to recognise and respect your boundaries, it is not your responsibility to appease them! I truly hope that you are able to seek respite from their ill treatment. Continue to focus on caring for yourself and your children. Take care!
Hey @shiningflower13,
Thank you for sharing this on the platform. It sounds that you feel emotionally frustrated and overwhelmed from constantly hearing people around you saying that what you’re doing is wrong and they know better. It must have been hard on you. First off, I find it really amazing and admirable that you want to raise your children in a better environment than the one you grew up in. It takes lots of courage to do something that may be uncertain or new, and I really admire you for it!
Next, regarding what others around you are saying, I think people will judge and comment on a lot of things, and at times even criticise. I guess that’s one area that could be difficult for us to control as we cannot control what other people say or do. But at the same time, I think only you will know what’s best for you and your children in your situation. If others won’t respect your decisions or your boundaries, it’s not your job to appease them. Just do what you feel is right for you and your children 
Hope you can find some peace from this and all the best 