Socializing is difficult

so… I find that the older I am the harder it is for me to befriend others (if that makes sense).
A lot of my classmates have told me that I am super introverted + shy and possibly the most introverted person they have met. I am currently struggling with fitting in with my cca as well. Most of the times, I feel like a ghost just wondering around in school.
It’s embarrassing because I’m older than most of them and I wish I was as fun or interesting like them. I just wish I was as easy going as them and had cool stories to tell.
I feel even worse that I stress over little things like this and it makes me not able to sleep at night.
I just don’t know why I exist.


Hi @justme, I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling to socialize. I know how difficult it can be to feel like you don’t fit in, especially when you’re surrounded by people who seem to be so much more outgoing and confident than you.

First of all, I want to validate your feelings. It’s completely normal to feel this way, and you’re not alone. Many people struggle with social anxiety, and it can be really difficult to cope with. I also want to assure you that you’re not a ghost. You exist, and you’re important. You have something to offer the world, and you deserve to be happy.

Here are a few things that might help:

  • Accept your introverted nature. There’s nothing wrong with being introverted. (I’m an introvert too. :face_with_open_eyes_and_hand_over_mouth:) In fact, there are many benefits to being an introvert. Introverts tend to be more thoughtful, creative, and independent.
  • Find your tribe. There are other introverts out there who feel the same way you do. Find a group of people who you can relate to, and who will accept you for who you are.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s easy to compare yourself to others, especially when they seem to be more outgoing and confident than you. But it’s important to remember that everyone is different, and we all have our own unique strengths and weaknesses.
  • Be patient with yourself. It takes time to build social skills. Don’t expect to become an overnight extrovert. Just keep putting yourself out there, and eventually you’ll find your way.

I find that starting small helps a lot. Don’t try to change everything at once. Just start by making small talk with people you see around campus or in your cca. If you find common interests, it’ll be easier to maintain a conversation. See if you can find something that you both enjoy, like a book, a TV show, or a hobby.


Hello @justme
Thanks for sharing, sorry to hear that you have been feeling this way at school HUGS. As a fellow introvert, I hear you and can definitely relate to some of the things you have mentioned. It’s very understandable to feel like it’s difficult to talk to others and build friendships especially when everyone else seems to be so much more confident, interesting, fun, and even cool. I imagine it can also feel quite intimidating and tiring to be stressing about the little details of day-to-day social interactions plus having all this interrupt your sleep is not great at all :confused:

But just wanted to reassure you that there is nothing wrong being more introverted/ shy than your peers. Everyone has different levels of comfort and energy in social situations and that’s totally okay :blush: You don’t have to be extroverted to be fun and cool, some of the coolest and most fun individuals I know are actually intro/ambiverts heh. That being said, socializing can be quite challenging for some of us and all of your concerns are valid and make a lot of sense. Wondering if there is anyone who knows what you are going through?