I want to be an extrovert who can work and communicate with others very well. As I’m an extreme introvert, I feel like I couldn’t do it well especially when it comes to group activities which need leadership skills and communication skills. I find it difficult to adapt to the new environment. I have been struggling a lot with surviving in the new school in the new country. Since my expectation is high, I’m losing confidence for not doing great.
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Takes practice, reading, trial and error
hi @user3864,
It is completely understandable to feel this way. Transitioning to a new school in a new country is a big change, and it is natural to feel overwhelmed.
Being introvert is not a disadvantageous thing. For instance, introverts often have great listening skills, the ability to think deeply, and a knack for forming meaningful connections. These are valuable traits that can enhance your communication and leadership abilities.
I say take small steps each day to improve yourself, for example you can set a goal to talk to 1 new person each day at school, or participate in 1 new activity a week. In group setting, you can also leverage on your (introvert) ability to listen and observe, which can help you understand group dynamics and contribute thoughtfully 
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It is alright to take time to adjust, be patient with yourself. Like what @user1138 mentioned, we need to practice social skills, and i believe you will meet a like-minded person in no time. Wishing you all the best!
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hi @user3864
as a fellow introvert, i relate to your struggles. i find it hard to speak up sometimes and find myself wishing that i was more outspoken so that i can “fit in” with others. and it must be even scarier navigating a new environment… 
like what others in this thread have shared, being an introvert is not a bad thing at all! it just means having to take some time to hone social skills and to build up your confidence bit by bit. no need to pressure yourself into leading activities immediately, start small by initiating conversations with people you feel closer to, then slowly you’ll find it less scary to talk to others as well
it’s a lot easier said than done, and the progress might be a little slow. please don’t be discouraged by it, every small step forward will count! be kind towards yourself and know that you can do it!
thank you for sharing this experience here, i think you managed to speak on behalf of many other introverts as well and that must have taken some courage! all the best with your new environment, and know that this will always be a safe space for you to come back and share your experiences and feelings 
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Hi @user3864 ,
It sounds like you’re facing a challenging transition, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed. Moving to a new country, adjusting to a different school, and trying to navigate social expectations are all significant changes. When you already identify as an introvert, these situations can feel even more daunting. The pressure to meet high expectations can sometimes make setbacks feel like failures, but remember that growth isn’t always immediate—it’s a process that takes time, patience, and self-compassion. Feeling uncertain doesn’t mean you’re incapable; it just means you’re adapting, which is a strength in itself.
You don’t have to become an extrovert to succeed in social and group settings. Many great leaders and communicators are introverts who have honed skills that allow them to engage effectively while still honoring their natural tendencies. Communication and leadership are skills that can be developed over time, and you don’t have to change who you are to improve them. Small steps—like actively listening, preparing what you want to say, and gradually participating in discussions—can make a big difference. With time, you’ll find ways to contribute that feel authentic to you, rather than forcing yourself to fit a mold that isn’t comfortable.
It’s okay to feel like you’re struggling, but don’t let that define your experience or your worth. You are in the middle of a significant adjustment, and every effort you make—even the ones that feel small—are steps toward feeling more confident and capable. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself the grace to grow at your own pace. You have unique strengths that will help you in this journey, even if they look different from those of extroverts. You are more capable than you think, and with time, practice, and patience, you’ll find your place in this new environment. Keep going—you’ve got this.
It must feel frustrating when you want to express yourself in a certain manner but you struggle to do so, especially since you’re in a new country.
It is not easy, managing the new culture, way of life and norms and at the same time trying your best to thrive in it.
I feel you 
, although I may not fully understand your plight. Your situation is not an easy one, but that does not mean that it is a impossible situation. You have to give yourself more credit, you’re dealing with a tough situation the best you can with what you have at the moment. It may feel overwhelming now, because youre still acclimating to the new environment but sometimes it takes a little more time for things to settle down. When you start to settle in, with baby steps, thats when your confidence starts coming back. Don’t be too hard on yourself, societal pressure can sometimes compell introverts to want to be more “extroverted” but there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. Its just what makes you, YOU.
Your feelings are valid and I hope that you give yourself that time and space for inner growth. You can always reach out to me if you need a friend to talk to .
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hi i don’t think you have to pressure yourself to become extroverted to fit in. there is power in being an introvert, listening and observing, i believe that you attract the energy that you give, and the right people will come to you eventually <3
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@mello My thoughts exactly! It’s okay to just be yourself.
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I totally get where you’re coming from—I’m an extreme introvert too. Whenever I take the MBTI, I range from 60-98% introverted, and social situations can sometimes really stress me out. The world does seem built for extroverts, which can feel a bit unfair, but being an introvert is not a bad thing at all. A lot of times, we sit back and think so much, and honestly, if we could voice it all out, we’d probably take over the world! Haha, JKJK.
As for leadership and communication, I think there’s plenty of advice out there. I’ve found YouTube to be really helpful for practical tips. Just do it—Nike style! The more you try, even if you fail, the more likely you’ll succeed. You can also remind yourself that, “Last time, I was afraid to speak up, but I did it, and it went well!” It’s all about building confidence.
You can also figure out what makes you more comfortable. For me, sitting at the front of the class makes it easier to talk to the teacher. When I’m in a group, I’d talk to one person first, and that person helps me communicate with the group. Or, I’d imagine I’m the most amazing, coolest person there, and think, “I don’t care about anyone’s judgment. I can be wrong, but I can also be right, so whatever!” and just speak.
I hope this helps! Is there anything specific you’re struggling with or need advice on?
Adjusting is difficult and wanting to be extroverted is no easy task too as an introvert myself I can relate a little with how you feel but you wanting to communicate better and be more extroverted is already some form of progress towards your goal! Hopefully these baby steps will help make you more comfortable with time and eventually you become even more confident! I believe in you!! Slowly but surely!
Hey @user3864
I hear you, and I want to tell you it’s completely valid to feel overwhelmed when you’re navigating so many changes at once: a new country, a new school - it feels like too much all at once.. definitely a lot to carry.
Being introverted doesn’t mean you’re not capable of leading or connecting with others - it just means your energy flows differently and leadership and communication come in many forms.
You don’t have to become an extrovert to work well with others. some of the best listeners, quiet leaders, and most empathetic teammates are introverts. there is something powerful about quiet charisma - the kind that doesn’t need to shout to be felt.
There are many ways to connect, lead, and communicate, and your way is just as valid. the way that makes you feel the most confident and being yourself.
You don’t need to be louder to be seen- just real to be remembered 
I hope this helps
Dear @user3864 ,
Im a fellow introvert! I understand your feelings of wanting to be more outspoken and interactive eith people. Especially with being in a new country with different cultural norms and socaial rules, it’s for sure not easy to connect seamlessly with new people. You’re not alone!
However, I want you to know that it’s normal to struggle. Even those who seem talkative and extroverted have their own struggles that we may not know about. It’s perfectly okay to have a tighter knit of friends and to make new ones at your own pace. What matters is that you are happy! Don’t let comparison steal your joy in life
hello, thank you for sharing! I understand you wish to express yourself more confidently and hopeful take up a leadership position. I believe that a leader doesnt need to be an extrovert, but someone who is able to understand the group’s struggles and uplift the group well. As an introvert, I believe it is also a plus point as you will be able to hear and understand the struggles of your groupmmates, and like what others have pointed out, it is not a disadvantage. I think having some conversations with a groupmate will be an excellent starting point:) Rooting for you!
Hi @user3864,
As an introvert myself, I can definitely relate to you. I feel extremely shy and uncomfortable especially in novel situations where I may not know other people. I believe that I am still on the journey to overcoming my fears of social situations and it seems like you are too. Recently, I have been trying to step out of my comfort zone more by engaging myself in new interest groups or activities that appeal to me. Sometimes I do end up cancelling last minute due to sheer anxiety and feel bad about myself. Remember that growth is not always linear and setbacks are completely normal! I encourage you to join me on a similar journey to open yourself up more. For starters, you may want to consider joining new groups/activities with someone that you are familiar with and close to, so that the experience isn’t completely new and daunting for you. You can slowly try to build your circle this way. Otherwise, you can engage with others online, which acts as a stepping stone to bettering your connections in real life. Meeting others online is less daunting in the sense that you need not communicate with them face to face and can communicate via text or video call (when/if you are comfortable!). I started out making friends online too before I got more comfortable getting to know others in person. In terms of leadership skills, you never know until you try it out! So be sure to snag the next opportunity and challenge yourself to go for it . Best of luck!
Hey OP,
I get you. I still struggle with social situations because I tend to overthink things.
“Oh no, no one is talking. What should I say?”
“Is it okay if I say this? What if it will turn out awkward?”
“I can’t think of anything else to say, what do I do?”
Socializing with new people is hard, let alone in your situation which is in a new school where some students are already in their own groups. Unfortunately, like learning a new instrument, socializing also needs practice. It takes a few hiccups here and there before you start to get comfortable with it.
One advice I still remember from my best friend is this: “people love talking about themselves.” And by that, it means that if you’d like to get to know someone better, ask questions about themselves: their passions, hobbies, interests, any story about events, etc. Then, from those conversations, you can pick out some elements that you may be able to add in.
“Oh, you know this music artist? Me too! What’s your favourite album from them?”
“You play basketball? We should go play together!”
Sometimes, some conversations will not go well, and that’s alright. You may not be compatible with some people, and that’s alright. It’s just part of the trial and error of socializing. I believe getting used to it will make you more used to socializing more
hi @user3864 , thank you for sharing! i really relate so much to your post as an introvert myself… and recently, i feel like it’s hard for me to make friends.. so i understand how you feel 
with a new environment and the other changes that come with living abroad, it must be tough to deal with everything, on top of socialising, hugs for youuu
i just want to reassure you that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert!! don’t blame yourself if it’s not as easy to approach and talk to people, everyone has different strengths 
perhaps you could start small, like “okay in this class i’m going to talk to one person” and slowly work from there! asking questions like “have you eaten, what did you have for lunch, how was your weekend” are simple conversation starters that i use — as you interact with more people, i’m sure you’ll be able to find what works for you!
you got this!! i’m sure you’re already trying your best, and i’m proud of you for that :)) cheering you on 
Hi user3864,
Thank you for sharing this, I completely understand how you feel. Wanting to thrive socially while feeling held back by introversion is really tough. The truth is, communication and leadership aren’t just ‘extrovert skills’, they’re “learned” skills. Even the most outgoing people had to start somewhere. What if you reframed this as practice instead of a test? Small steps matter: try speaking up once in a group, observing how others lead, or even practicing conversations in low-pressure settings.
It’s also okay to acknowledge how hard adapting to a new school and a new country is, that’s a huge challenge on its own. Be kinder to yourself. Confidence isn’t built overnight, and your high expectations might be masking the courage it already takes to navigate all this change.
Lastly, introverts often bring strengths extroverts don’t: deep listening, thoughtful input, and the ability to work independently. Could you lean into those while gently stretching your comfort zone? I wish you all the best!
miloluvr