I want to be an extrovert who can work and communicate with others very well. As I’m an extreme introvert, I feel like I couldn’t do it well especially when it comes to group activities which need leadership skills and communication skills. I find it difficult to adapt to the new environment. I have been struggling a lot with surviving in the new school in the new country. Since my expectation is high, I’m losing confidence for not doing great.
Takes practice, reading, trial and error
hi @user3864,
It is completely understandable to feel this way. Transitioning to a new school in a new country is a big change, and it is natural to feel overwhelmed.
Being introvert is not a disadvantageous thing. For instance, introverts often have great listening skills, the ability to think deeply, and a knack for forming meaningful connections. These are valuable traits that can enhance your communication and leadership abilities.
I say take small steps each day to improve yourself, for example you can set a goal to talk to 1 new person each day at school, or participate in 1 new activity a week. In group setting, you can also leverage on your (introvert) ability to listen and observe, which can help you understand group dynamics and contribute thoughtfully
It is alright to take time to adjust, be patient with yourself. Like what @user1138 mentioned, we need to practice social skills, and i believe you will meet a like-minded person in no time. Wishing you all the best!
hi @user3864
as a fellow introvert, i relate to your struggles. i find it hard to speak up sometimes and find myself wishing that i was more outspoken so that i can “fit in” with others. and it must be even scarier navigating a new environment…
like what others in this thread have shared, being an introvert is not a bad thing at all! it just means having to take some time to hone social skills and to build up your confidence bit by bit. no need to pressure yourself into leading activities immediately, start small by initiating conversations with people you feel closer to, then slowly you’ll find it less scary to talk to others as well
it’s a lot easier said than done, and the progress might be a little slow. please don’t be discouraged by it, every small step forward will count! be kind towards yourself and know that you can do it!
thank you for sharing this experience here, i think you managed to speak on behalf of many other introverts as well and that must have taken some courage! all the best with your new environment, and know that this will always be a safe space for you to come back and share your experiences and feelings
Hi @user3864 ,
It sounds like you’re facing a challenging transition, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed. Moving to a new country, adjusting to a different school, and trying to navigate social expectations are all significant changes. When you already identify as an introvert, these situations can feel even more daunting. The pressure to meet high expectations can sometimes make setbacks feel like failures, but remember that growth isn’t always immediate—it’s a process that takes time, patience, and self-compassion. Feeling uncertain doesn’t mean you’re incapable; it just means you’re adapting, which is a strength in itself.
You don’t have to become an extrovert to succeed in social and group settings. Many great leaders and communicators are introverts who have honed skills that allow them to engage effectively while still honoring their natural tendencies. Communication and leadership are skills that can be developed over time, and you don’t have to change who you are to improve them. Small steps—like actively listening, preparing what you want to say, and gradually participating in discussions—can make a big difference. With time, you’ll find ways to contribute that feel authentic to you, rather than forcing yourself to fit a mold that isn’t comfortable.
It’s okay to feel like you’re struggling, but don’t let that define your experience or your worth. You are in the middle of a significant adjustment, and every effort you make—even the ones that feel small—are steps toward feeling more confident and capable. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself the grace to grow at your own pace. You have unique strengths that will help you in this journey, even if they look different from those of extroverts. You are more capable than you think, and with time, practice, and patience, you’ll find your place in this new environment. Keep going—you’ve got this.
It must feel frustrating when you want to express yourself in a certain manner but you struggle to do so, especially since you’re in a new country.
It is not easy, managing the new culture, way of life and norms and at the same time trying your best to thrive in it.
I feel you , although I may not fully understand your plight. Your situation is not an easy one, but that does not mean that it is a impossible situation. You have to give yourself more credit, you’re dealing with a tough situation the best you can with what you have at the moment. It may feel overwhelming now, because youre still acclimating to the new environment but sometimes it takes a little more time for things to settle down. When you start to settle in, with baby steps, thats when your confidence starts coming back. Don’t be too hard on yourself, societal pressure can sometimes compell introverts to want to be more “extroverted” but there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. Its just what makes you, YOU.
Your feelings are valid and I hope that you give yourself that time and space for inner growth. You can always reach out to me if you need a friend to talk to .
hi i don’t think you have to pressure yourself to become extroverted to fit in. there is power in being an introvert, listening and observing, i believe that you attract the energy that you give, and the right people will come to you eventually <3
@mello My thoughts exactly! It’s okay to just be yourself.
I totally get where you’re coming from—I’m an extreme introvert too. Whenever I take the MBTI, I range from 60-98% introverted, and social situations can sometimes really stress me out. The world does seem built for extroverts, which can feel a bit unfair, but being an introvert is not a bad thing at all. A lot of times, we sit back and think so much, and honestly, if we could voice it all out, we’d probably take over the world! Haha, JKJK.
As for leadership and communication, I think there’s plenty of advice out there. I’ve found YouTube to be really helpful for practical tips. Just do it—Nike style! The more you try, even if you fail, the more likely you’ll succeed. You can also remind yourself that, “Last time, I was afraid to speak up, but I did it, and it went well!” It’s all about building confidence.
You can also figure out what makes you more comfortable. For me, sitting at the front of the class makes it easier to talk to the teacher. When I’m in a group, I’d talk to one person first, and that person helps me communicate with the group. Or, I’d imagine I’m the most amazing, coolest person there, and think, “I don’t care about anyone’s judgment. I can be wrong, but I can also be right, so whatever!” and just speak.
I hope this helps! Is there anything specific you’re struggling with or need advice on?