How to make friends?

[Keri]

So next year I will be in a different class. I have a feeling I won’t be in the same class with all of my friends since all of us are aiming to be in a different class. I’m worried I’ll be a loner next year since I barely have any friends. There was once where I search on Google about how to make new friends. As expected, all it said was talk to them, introducing yourself etc.

But what if all of the students in my class already have friends. What if I talk to them and they think I’m bothering them? I don’t even know what to talk about with them in order to be friends with them. I feel like introducing myself or asking them if they wanna be friends with me feels kinda awkward for teenagers these days. How do I naturally be friends with them? Pretending to ask them for something doesn’t make me easily become friends with them cause I tried that once.

So how do I actually make friends? Introducing myself doesn’t feel like it’ll work and it’s awkward. Can I actually make friends and be close to them in class even if they already have their own group of friends? Will I be able to fit in next year in my new class? I’m not pretty and I’m not talkative. If I don’t approach anyone they won’t approach me either. They’ll approach the pretty ones. Please teach me how to make friends.

[octopus]

this is so true… i just started uni and im kinda going through a similar thing

i think a lot of us tend to speculate when were worried but you wont know what will happen until you go there!! plus if its really hard talking to people, you can wait until someone talks to you i really dont think people would only approach pretty or conventionally attractive people… even if they do i dont think anyone would want to be friends with someone who only likes them for their looks… plus people generally perceive themselves harsher than other people do haha

youll get lots of chances to talk to people during orientation, projects, class discussions, and stuff like that!! and there are many people who like approaching others first haha… im sure you can make friends slowly but surely

good luck with the transition to the new class!!! i hope you can be kinder to yourself

[strawberrymilk]

totally understandable, making new friends can be quite a scary experience especially if you’re more shy/softspoken etc. But at the same time you really wont know whats gonna happen until you change classes! plus people are usually nicer than you’d expect, and will talk to you if you approach them. You mentioned that you feel awkward about introducing yourself to others, but i think thats perfectly normal and good! it shows that you are confident because you are taking the initiative to get to know others

i have some lil tips that might help you make new friends. if you smile at others when they look at you, they’re more likely to think that you’re friendly and approachable. you could also just say a simple “hi!” to anyone who walks by. you can also casually start a conversation by complimenting someone. for example if a classmate has a cute keychain, you can mention it to that classmate and ask where he/she bought it from.

overall just keep and open mind and be kind to yourself as long as you put in consistent effort to try and get to know others, you’ll eventually make friends that you can vibe with!

[Jaws]

Sounds like you’re an introvert (like most of us). Do you have assigned seats in class? Maybe can start by talking to the one beside you. I find that the easiest way to start a conversation is by asking open-ended questions like “oh where did you get that bag?” or “what did you do over the weekend?”. People are generally more comfortable talking about themselves and their experiences.

If you have a friend that goes into the same class as you next year, great. If you don’t, then maybe have to find someone that you’re more comfortable with to bring you into their friend group. Hopefully that person is an extrovert that you can tag along to all the gatherings haha.

[manda1]

it’s tough entering a new class, i’m guessing you’re probably sec 2 this year and streaming is happening which is why you say you and your friends are aiming for different classes.

in sec 3 after i was placed in a new class i realised i already had some old friends in that class from sec 1 or cca. so it may not be as bad as you’re thinking.

but if it is and you really know no one, talking to your deskmate in class could be the most effective way to make a friend. i normally become good friends w my deskies because we only have each other in class and we’re bored sometimes so we talk. my friend group in sec 3 was a group of ppl who i either barely knew or not at all before then, but one of them was my deskie and then we pulled in one of her friends and this new girl and somehow formed that group. friendships happen more easily then you’d expect.

some first time convo topics

• ask for their name and prev class, talk abt prev teachers (if you had common ones you cld rant abt them haha)
• ask what subjects they’re taking
• ask what cca they’re in

other convo topics have been shared by prev posters but these are my go to qns when talking to new ppl :”) normally it works becos it’s two way (the person will ask u back the same qn) and yall can have a convo.

this is a very long post but i hope it was helpful!! do let us know how it goes if u rmbb! jiayous u got thiss 🫶🏻

[Tommyhorse]

Hey, I totally get how you’re feeling. I’m in university, and with all the module shuffling, I also find it tough to make new friends each semester. It’s especially hard when it feels like everyone already has their own groups, right?

But here’s something to keep in mind: just be yourself, and let things happen naturally. People usually gravitate towards others who aren’t trying too hard, and it feels way more comfortable when you’re not forcing anything. I know it sounds easier said than done, but when you’re just being you, it’s a lot easier for connections to form.

Also, a lot of people are likely just as nervous or worried about themselves as you are. They probably aren’t thinking about you as much as you think—so don’t stress too much about that. Everyone’s a bit caught up in their own heads.

Try asking open-ended questions when you talk to them, and show genuine interest in their lives. It helps people open up when they feel like someone’s listening and caring about what they say. And when they share something, reflect back what you heard to show that you really get them—it can go a long way in building connections. Over time, you’ll find that those conversations naturally lead to friendships.

I know it can feel awkward at first, but you’ve got this! You don’t need to change anything about yourself to make friends. Just being friendly and open goes a long way.

[potatooo]

Hello @Keri! As an introvert, I can definitely relate to how you’re feeling. From primary to secondary school, I had to switch schools after moving houses, and I found myself in a completely new environment without any of my old friends. I understand how tough that can be, and being an introvert doesn’t make it any easier. However, sometimes I think we tend to overthink things, and making friends can actually be easier than we imagine.

For me, I try to connect with people during group projects, orientations, or by joining in on conversations, because often I find it hard to initiate one myself . I was also once abandoned by a close friend, and it took a lot of courage, but I eventually approached a new group of people and joined their circle. Even when I moved on to diploma and university, I started without knowing anyone, but over time, I found it became easier to approach and make new friends.

{I understand you’re here to know how to make friends but I hope my experience make you feel that you’re not alone!!}