It sounds so strange but i used to be ok being alone, i work well by myself and didnt think i needed anyone so i didnt rlly learn how to make friends, but instead ill just wait for friends to come down from heaven or smt
But now i realised how much more fun i would have if i had friends, maybe if i just spent that time and money to visit a pop up Cafe, or just spent some time playing more games to be able to talk to others and relate to them. I want friends who are ok with me, who can not have ulterior motives (ahauuhm is that too much to ask) but idk how
Im joining ccas, attending seminars, workshops idfk (abt things i enjoy) more. But i cant find myself talking to anyone even if i see smy we can bond over. “wow, this guy knows abt this yt channel.. I wanna talk to them but do i really want to?”
I need help making friends and idk howwww ahhhh
That internal “do I really want to?” pause is so relatable and honestly really common for people who’ve spent a lot of time being self-sufficient. You’ve built up a kind of comfort in solitude, and now you’re asking yourself to do something that genuinely feels unfamiliar and a bit risky. That’s not a character flaw, it’s just a skill gap… and skill gaps can be closed!
That moment you described: “wow this guy knows about this YT channel”, that’s actually your opening 
The hesitation you feel isn’t a sign you don’t want to talk to them, it’s just your brain doing a risk calculation it’s not used to doing. The stakes feel high because you’re out of practice. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to commit to a friendship in that moment. You just have to say one thing. “Hey, do you watch [channel]?” That’s it. You’re not proposing a lifelong bond, you’re just… talking.
Friendship is mostly just… the same people talking repeatedly over time. You don’t have to force a connection, you just have to show up and say small things consistently.
The ulterior motives thing …most people aren’t plotting against you, they’re just also a bit awkward. Real friendships show themselves over time, you’ll figure out who’s genuine.
I do also want to share that support is available. You can reach Mindline anytime at 1771 or WhatsApp 6669 1771, and there are also resources you can explore at your own pace at mindline.sg.
What’s the next social thing you have coming up?
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Hey @Mmmmeeow,
It is completely valid to feel this way, and realizing you want deeper connections after being perfectly content on your own is a massive step. Struggling to make friends, especially during a transition to a new educational environment, is a rather common predicament, I would say!
It takes a lot of vulnerability to look at your routines and admit that you want more out of life and want people to share it with. It is also quite frustrating when you are doing all the right things by putting yourself out there through CCAs, workshops, and events, only to find an invisible social wall that keeps you from making a move. Wanting genuine, safe connections without hidden agendas is not necessarily “asking for too much”, as it is basically the baseline for any meaningful relationship.
However, the frank truth is that you cannot force a friendship into existence, and trying to manufacture a connection just because you share a niche hobby or see someone in a gaming lobby will not work. True friendships require chemistry, comfort, and time. Sometimes you will meet someone who likes the exact same things you do, but the vibe is simply flat or “off”, and that is perfectly okay.
Instead of putting massive pressure on every single interaction to become a lifelong friendship, I’d encourage you to try to focus on just having a pleasant five-minute conversation. If you look at it as a chance to share a quick laugh or a neat fact rather than a mission to recruit a friend, the pressure lifts.
Let things develop naturally, give yourself permission to walk away if it feels forced, and trust that the right, effortless connections will stick when they happen. 
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Hello, I understand that making friends can be quite nerve-wrecking. I think having a common topic, such as the yt channel, can be an excellent icebreaker! rooting for you!