for the past 6 months, ive been trying to make friends online locally via annonymous telegram chat bots and apps. the objective was to make more friends that i can hang out w cuz my existing friends are either married, with a baby or extremely low maintenance , so i find myself alone on weekends. 6 months passed n not much friends were made. I was figuring out why, some say no chemistry n i was kinda shocked that they needed chemistry even tho its just friendship and we chatted for quite long. I did get some of their telegram but most will stop replying and i keep seeing this pattern happening. Some is too dry n i have to be the one talking and I ran out of things to say. I think i did went out with a few but nothing much happened after that cuz not much in common. Before these 6 months, i’ve tried to make frens with local fellow ppl with mental health issues and they are still the ones i keep in touch n occasionally hang out with til now. I can see why as we have a connection via mental health struggles, hanged out before but also low maintenance. Ppl did advice me to start making friends w normal ppl since im kinda normal again n thats why i started. It got me thinking how i made friends that last during education period, the reason for my cliques staying together is cuz that we are just joking all the time or another clique is cuz they are really chill n non judgemental. I think im lacking in jokes wise nowadays cuz i cant really guage if the new person meet r ok with my jokes. I wonder what are these ‘chemistry’ ppl are talking about nowadays to click as friends. May also be that they are just looking to text someone for fun and bounce. I’m also wondering why do ppl do that, wont that be a waste of time to chat w ppl with no progress even if the chat went well? I refrain from Meetup app meet ups cuz I cant figure out how to make frens w a bunch of people who already know each other. I’m only ok w talking to a stranger one on one. I’m kinda back to scouring the internet for new local ppl w mental health issues to befriend and hang out w again. I’m not dating cuz my career is still rocky and I’m still struggling w it. Tips and advice for my situation?
Making friends as an adult in Sinkiepore is impossible.
heyy thank you for sharing! i hear that you are facing difficulties maintaining friendships, and that is totally understandable! making longterm friendships is NOT easy at all, because it really depends on your situation, eg, being in the same class, same work team, common interests etc. and it also depends heavily on communication. i totally get it that it can be difficult to maintain consistent communication, because we are all busy with our own lives that we sometimes forget to check up on friends, or reply to our friends in time. I’ve lost quite a few close friends from sec school after i graduated because i was caught up in adjusting to my new life and new friends at poly. life is like that, these things happen to a lot of people, and its not anyones fault because we are all walking on different paths in life.
if you are thinking of making friends in real life, i know friendzone.sg organises small meetups that allow strangers to talk and make friends. they basically put a group of strangers together and provide some conversational materials to facilitate conversations. they have different groups for different conversation topics, from friendships, work, etcetc, so yea you’ll meet a bunch of people, and who knows maybe you might find long lasting friends there!
otherwise, maybe you could try to contact some of your old friends again? after all you had a connection with your past friends before, and maybe you just need to reach out to them again to rekindle the friendship. it might require some time and effort to maintain consistent communication, but thats how strong and long lasting friendships are often built. on the other hand, if things dont work out, its totally ok too! its impossible to be friends and have good chemistry with everyone. it takes time to find people who click well with you, so until then, be kind to yourself and keep trying, im sure you’ll meet some great friends in the future 
It’s really brave that you’re taking the step to initiate new friendships! Have you tried going for classes or workshops for skills/hobbies that you’re interested in? You mentioned that you have some friends from your mental health support group because of the similar experiences, or sense of camaraderie. I think this camaraderie can also be forged in other ways, since you can naturally become friendly with people who have similar interests from classes/workshops and bond over your progress together.
hey, i think it’s normal and natural to want to have friends. not just to spend time together but to also feel like you have your “tribe” around you when you’re going through a hard time. that being said, i don’t think making friends is easy at all because it’s usually a long process but i do think it’s worth it. if you’re into board games, or certain sports, i think some places do organise meet ups where you can meet people organically. but usually i’d say common interests would be a good gateway to making new friends.