Saying goodbye to my counsellor

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I’m graduating this year which means I’m no longer able to continue sessions with my school counsellor anymore. I’m just not ready to leave yet. It hit me really hard when I went to see my new therapist referred to me by the hospital I go to.

It felt like I was replacing my counsellor with this new therapist. The hospital setting made it feel so impersonal and just wasn’t what I expected at all. I thought I would be able to make the change, but I ended up crying about how I don’t want a new therapist and refused to continue with the session. Then I got up and told them I was never coming back. The whole time I felt really angry which was ridiculous because it’s not their fault.

I think I just couldn’t accept having to end my relationship with my counsellor and find it incredibly cruel for me to never be able to see them again after being so vulnerable with them. I’m afraid I’d never find someone as good as them and will never be satisfied with anyone else.

I’ve already talked to my counsellor about this and they were incredibly understanding and tried to suggest other resources for me but I’m just finding it really hard to let go. They’re the only person that I truly feel understands me and cares about my wellbeing. The connection is just so genuine and I always look forward to our sessions.

Honestly I just really appreciate all that they’ve done for me and know I shouldn’t get too attached but I can’t help it. I do have friends but we’ve never reached that level of emotional depth with each other. This just all really feels like a huge loss for me.

Am I being dramatic or are my feelings totally valid. I can’t be the only one who feels this way right??? How do I let go and move on because every time I think about it I start tearing up.

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Hi @appreciativegoldfish877,

The feelings you’re experiencing are completely valid and very understandable. It’s incredibly tough to say goodbye to a counsellor who has been such a constant, supportive presence in your life. This is especially so, after sharing a lot about of yourself and building that deep sense of trust. The grief, anger, and even resistance you felt during your first session with the new therapist show just how meaningful your relationship with your school counsellor has been. It’s not silly or dramatic to struggle with this transition. In fact, it’s common to find it difficult to let go of someone who has helped us feel seen and cared for.

While this loss can feel overwhelming, you do have options for additional support as you navigate this change. You could consider reaching out to mental health organisations in your community, exploring online therapy platforms, or joining peer support groups where others may be facing similar transitions. Sometimes, writing letters to your former counsellor (even if you don’t send them) or journaling about your feelings can also help process your emotions. If you’re comfortable, deepening conversations with trusted friends (even if it feels vulnerable) might offer some comfort too. Remember, building a new therapeutic relationship takes time, and it’s okay to mourn what you’re leaving behind while also being open to new sources of support.

I hope this helps! :+1: