Therapist drama

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tw/ sui

hello! the situation is rather subpar at the moment… two days ago i just got discharged from imh (feel free to judge) and im still kind of readjusting from what felt like prison :confused: today i saw my therapist and in a terrible turn of events she feels there is nothing more she can do with me and would like us to pause our sessions and wants me to go for family counselling instead (which the imh care team recommended too)… she feels unless family counselling goes well there is nothing for her to do and we will Not be meeting again… while i understand this has been a massive shock to me because my therapist is like the Only person i can talk to and my only source of comfort or support :confused: i also feel like i can never see her again because i have little to no hope for family counselling… my parents have put in zero effort whatsoever unless they can throw money at my problems and i do not see them trying or changing at all… im sick and tired of getting my hopes up just to be disappointed over and over again and i dont want to be the only one putting in the effort all the time… im 19 and im a student so im not financially stable either. i feel so alone and abandoned and its bringing back the suicidal thoughts and urges that left me hospitalised for a week in the first place. the last thing i want is to end up back there right after i got discharged and endure the judgement of all the nurses :confused: my only thought is that i should have killed myself the firt time i wanted to and i feel like all the effort ive put in wasnt worth it… i am so lost and confused and alone what do i do :frowning:

thank you for reading and listening…

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Hey @ileo

Thank you for choosing to share your story with us here on let’s talk. It sounds incredibly tough, and I’m glad you reached out to share your feelings.

I’m sorry to hear that your experience in IMH was very much less than ideal, it never feels good to be judged. I hear your struggle that you feel your suicidal thoughts rising again due to your therapist saying that she is putting a pause on your sessions, it definitely can feel overwhelming especially when you feel that your main support is taken away.

I hear that you have no hope in family counselling due to your family’s lack of support. However I just want to encourage you to not give up completely, even though things may seem really bleak at the moment, sometimes family therapy may open new channels of communication, maybe they just need an external person to nudge them to change.

However in the meantime, maybe it’ll be good to find other sources of support such as friends, support groups etc.

Frankly speaking, I am quite shock that your therapist would just leave you hanging like that, individual therapy can complement/ go-along side with family therapy.

Based on your financial situation, you can look at places offering pro bono/ subsided counselling like Care Corner (Mental Health for Youth (INSIGHT) - Care Corner Singapore l) or Limitless (Get Help: Talk to Someone — Limitless)

I just want you to know that you are important, we may not know each other but know that the community here at let’s talk cares about you and want to see you thrive. You’re never alone! Please take care of yourself and reach out whenever you need to.

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thank you marshmallow yoghurt :slight_smile:

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Hi @ileo,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your feelings. I can hear how much pain and frustration you’re experiencing right now.

You’ve just been discharged from IMH and are feeling like you’re readjusting from what felt like prison. The sudden change in your therapy situation has been a massive shock. Your therapist, who has been your only source of comfort, suggested pausing individual sessions in favor of family counseling. I understand how abandoned you feel by this decision because you don’t have much hope for family counseling due to your parents’ lack of effort and emotional involvement. You’re tired of being the only one putting in effort and don’t want to be disappointed again.

At 19, as a student, you’re facing financial instability and feelings of loneliness and abandonment. This situation has triggered suicidal thoughts and urges, which you’re trying to manage. Despite everything, you’ve shown incredible strengths. You’re very aware of your emotions and the dynamics in your family and therapy. You’ve continued to engage in therapy and are reaching out for help now. You’re openly sharing your thoughts and feelings, which is a crucial step in seeking support. Despite setbacks, you’ve taken steps to improve your mental health in the past.

Your feelings of being lost, confused, and alone are completely valid. It’s essential to address the resurfacing suicidal thoughts. Please reach out to a crisis hotline or a trusted person in your life right away. Here are some resources you can contact:

  • Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 24-hour Hotline: 1800-221-4444
  • Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH) Helpline: 1800-283-7019
  • CHAT (Community Health Assessment Team): Phone: 6493-6500 / 6493-6501

While it’s daunting given your past experiences, family counseling could provide a new perspective and support. It’s worth discussing your concerns openly with the family counselor to see if there’s a way to address these dynamics. If you feel your current therapist isn’t meeting your needs, consider reaching out to another therapist or counselor. Sometimes, finding the right support can make a big difference.

Reflecting on your strengths can help you navigate this challenging time. You’ve shown incredible resilience and strength. You’ve taken steps to seek help and improve your situation, which is commendable. Engage in activities that bring you comfort and relief. Whether it’s a hobby, talking to a friend, or simply taking a walk, small actions can sometimes help manage overwhelming feelings.

You’re not alone in this, and we care about your well-being. It’s okay to take one step at a time and seek the support you need. Please continue to share your thoughts and feelings as much as you feel comfortable. We’re here to listen and support you through this.

Take care and hope to hear from you soon.

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thank you fu yuan :disappointed: i will try my best with what i have… i think i am just a little hurt because ive worked with my therapist for 3 years and have gotten incredibly attached… far too attached for my own good… sigh

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Thanks for sharing so vulnerably @ileo. The feelings of being abandoned must have been terrible. Have you said these to your therapist? I’m sure they didn’t mean to make you feel this way with their actions. My guess is that they felt the family counseling might help you make more progress in your situation and I hope they don’t just leave you in the lurch!

On therapist attachment, that’s kinda common I guess. @Marshmallow.youghurt shared more here: Fear of fully getting better

I think it’s important to realize that you’re more than just your mental health adversities. At some point, you’re going to have to lead your life without your therapist - maybe that’s the goal of therapy?

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hi jaws, yes you’re right. i don’t expect to see my therapist forever but im just a little taken aback by how sudden it is… especially when things haven’t settled down quite yet… but i did ask for a last session next week so i will try to clarify things with her…

thank you for your support!

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I hope it goes well @ileo and that you get the closure you need/ want, do share with us the outcome of the session if you’re comfortable to do so! Wishing you well always! :slight_smile:

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will do! thank you marshmallow yoghurt

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Hope your session with her goes well! Let us know how it goes, we’ll be here to listen :smiling_face:

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hello friends it went well it was just a big misunderstanding :pray::pray::pray: she wanted me to do individual sessions w the family therapist but ill be doing them w her instead :pray::pray::pray: thank you all tor your support :heart_hands::heart_hands:

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That’s good to hear, @ileo! Hope the sessions go well and you get the support you need. We’re cheering you on from here :smiling_face:

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Hello @ileo ,

Second what @Jaws said, I really hope that the sessions goes well and you get the support you need, always remember you deserve to live out to your fullest potential, live your best possible self! Rooting for you always! Take care! :slight_smile:

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