tw/ sui
hello! the situation is rather subpar at the moment… two days ago i just got discharged from imh (feel free to judge) and im still kind of readjusting from what felt like prison today i saw my therapist and in a terrible turn of events she feels there is nothing more she can do with me and would like us to pause our sessions and wants me to go for family counselling instead (which the imh care team recommended too)… she feels unless family counselling goes well there is nothing for her to do and we will Not be meeting again… while i understand this has been a massive shock to me because my therapist is like the Only person i can talk to and my only source of comfort or support
i also feel like i can never see her again because i have little to no hope for family counselling… my parents have put in zero effort whatsoever unless they can throw money at my problems and i do not see them trying or changing at all… im sick and tired of getting my hopes up just to be disappointed over and over again and i dont want to be the only one putting in the effort all the time… im 19 and im a student so im not financially stable either. i feel so alone and abandoned and its bringing back the suicidal thoughts and urges that left me hospitalised for a week in the first place. the last thing i want is to end up back there right after i got discharged and endure the judgement of all the nurses
my only thought is that i should have killed myself the firt time i wanted to and i feel like all the effort ive put in wasnt worth it… i am so lost and confused and alone what do i do
thank you for reading and listening…