scam: i didn’t learn my lesson

[manda1]

not sure who saw my previous post about me getting scammed…. back story for the new ones: i found this channel on tele where the guy said he could help us earn money and so after seeing multiple reviews i decided to invest 117 sgd and see where that would take me. take note i only had about 200 sgd in my account at that time. after that the guy suddenly said i had to pay a sum of 611 sgd to activate my account, of which i did not have. i told them i didnt have enough money and said that’s where our transaction ends.

after i lost the initial amount i really should’ve blocked the person… he kept texting and bugging me and asking when i was going to make the payment to activate my account so i could get the earnings. he also tried to make deals with me. yesterday he texted me yet again proposing i just pay half of the money first and when i said no he said my money will be cancelled and he’ll receive a fine if i don’t pay the money. after i said sorry i can’t pay he told me im setting him up in this deal and that that was irresponsibility and i had no right to break the deal. i really should’ve just blocked him there and then…. but i suggested if i could just pay 100 sgd and he said can and i pay the rest after getting my earnings. somehow i was stupid and decided why not… paid the amount (not to him it was to a wallet address on crypto) and then had to verify my identity. first part required face selfies. second part he told me i had to pay 240 euro…… wah i wanna kms eh of course the second part would involve money i should’ve seen this coming…. now in total i have losses of 217 sgd… which is still less than my first scam of 700+ but still…. idk why i keep making such stupid decisions after being warned by everyone around me

i’m gonna end the transaction with the guy here already im done

[Wombat]

Hi @manda1, I read through both posts that you made today, as well as your first post about being scammed.

I can sense a common theme amongst your posts about wanting to escape, or distract yourself from reality. Your description about getting scammed, as well as your struggles with motivation suggests to me that you are not happy with the current life that you are living, and are looking for quick ways to escape from this situation (through easy money), or ways to distract and not engage with your schoolwork.

I wonder if there is a part of you that compels you towards these patterns of behavior, and whether you can be curious about what that part of you wants?

Some potential thoughts that you might have had:

I’m never going to succeed in school, so I’m not even going to try. Then I’ll have an excuse when I inevitably fail - This part of you might be trying to protect you from having your self-worth impacted by your studies, by pre-emptively self-sabotaging yourself.

If I make big money through this deal, then exams won’t matter anymore - This part of yourself is trying to tell you that your security and future doesn’t depend on your academics, and that there are other ways to be financially secure.

The intentions of these two parts are not malicious, and might even be correct, it’s just that the actions that result from these intentions are not helpful at the moment. Your self-worth does not depend on how you perform academically, even though in JC it can feel like it does, and you can secure financial stability even without performing well academically (depending on your definition of financial stability!).

I would challenge you to ask yourself, Why am I really doing what I’m doing?

What do you really hope to get out of making this money? Freeing yourself from the responsibility of working hard?

What do you really hope to get from distracting yourself? A break from work? Running from your responsibilities? Or some other need that you might have?

Am looking forward to hearing your thoughts if you have any!