Hi @Purpleheart107,
Thank you for trusting us with your story. First of all, I want to say that what you’re feeling—shame, guilt, and self-blame—is something many people experience after being scammed. These emotions are incredibly heavy, but please know they don’t make you “stupid” or “at fault.” Scams are designed to manipulate and take advantage of people, and it’s not a reflection of your intelligence or character.
It’s understandable that you’re hesitant to share this with your family or friends. The fear of judgment can be really powerful, especially when you’re already feeling vulnerable. But remember, you don’t have to carry this burden alone. Sometimes, sharing with just one trusted person can lift a significant weight off your shoulders. You might find that they’re more understanding and supportive than you expect.
You’ve already shown a lot of strength by filing a police report and acknowledging what happened. That’s not an easy step to take, and it shows that you’re committed to finding peace of mind and moving forward.
It’s also important to be kind to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, and what matters most is how we learn from them and move forward. Instead of focusing on what you lost, try to focus on what you’ve gained—wisdom, resilience, and the ability to protect yourself better in the future.
Given everything you’ve been through, both with this scam and your health issues, it might be helpful to talk to a professional counselor. They can provide you with the tools to manage these feelings of sadness and self-blame. You don’t have to go through this alone, and professional support can make a big difference in how you cope with this situation.
In the meantime, consider setting small, manageable goals to help you regain control, here are some options for your consideration. Taking these steps, no matter how small, can help you feel more empowered.
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Start a New Savings Plan: Begin by creating a new savings plan, even if it’s just setting aside a small amount each month. This can be as simple as saving a few dollars each week. The key here is consistency rather than the amount. Over time, these small contributions will grow, and watching your savings increase can provide a sense of accomplishment and a positive focus. You might consider setting up a separate savings account specifically for rebuilding what you’ve lost. Some people find it helpful to automate their savings so that a portion of their income is directly transferred into this account, reducing the temptation to spend it elsewhere.
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Explore Affordable Options for Your Physio Treatments: For your physical therapy needs, look into community-based or subsidized options that might be available to you. In Singapore, there are various polyclinics and public hospitals that offer physiotherapy services at lower rates. Additionally, some private clinics may offer discounts or payment plans for individuals facing financial difficulties. You can also explore whether any non-profit organizations provide support or grants for individuals with medical needs. Reaching out to a healthcare professional or social worker can help you identify these resources.
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Set Achievable Milestones: Break down your larger financial goals into smaller, achievable milestones. For example, aim to save a specific amount by the end of the month or commit to reducing non-essential expenses for a few weeks. Celebrating these small wins can boost your confidence and keep you motivated. Write down these milestones and track your progress—sometimes, seeing how far you’ve come can be incredibly empowering.
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Build a Support System: While you work on these goals, consider building or strengthening your support system. Even if you’re not ready to share your experience with your family or friends, surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who can offer encouragement and practical advice is valuable. This might include joining a support group, whether in person or online, where you can connect with others who have faced similar challenges.
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Practice Self-Compassion and Patience: Finally, remember that progress takes time. Be patient with yourself as you work towards these goals. It’s okay to take things one step at a time. Self-compassion will be key in this process—acknowledge the effort you’re putting in, and give yourself credit for each positive step forward, no matter how small.
Please remember, what happened to you doesn’t define you. You’re taking the right steps, and it’s okay to ask for help along the way. You’ve already shown incredible resilience by reaching out and sharing your story here.
Take care, do feel free to share with us if you have started something?
