ever since term 2 started, my mental health has been declining. my relapse on cutting is getting more frequent as i approach this year (my o level year) and i would usually act on my suicidal thoughts. during school breaks, i usually skip meals as idh appetite and nothing just appeal to me anymore, everything just seems unappetising to me as idh appetite ah. more and more recently, i’ve been feeling “fake” i don’t feel like me, i feel odd, i feel like my soul doesn’t belong in my body and it just feels like this body isn’t mine
1 Like
Hi there @wen,
Thank you coming on here and being open to share about your struggles with self-harm and depressed mood. I can’t imagine what it’s like for you - it sounds very bleak and tiring - but at the same time, I can see that you’re trying to work on yourself or to try to figure out what you can do. And I hope that coming on here can help to build on your resilience and draw support from the community 
I hear how tough things are is getting you to contemplate a situation where you no longer need to confront the distress or anguish… I get that. To feel to that extent means that you’ve been too overwhelmed to cope. I’d like to share that it can be helpful to get assistance from a trusted person anytime it gets too overwhelming for you. Let them know about the thoughts you’re having, how you’re feeling, and that you would want to be safe (e.g., keeping your surroundings safe, put away dangerous items like knifes/medications in locked cabinets, look for you immediately if you’re in distress, etc.). This plan helps them know what they can do exactly during those moments to support you. If you feel like you need to speak to someone immediately, or things are just highly distressing, you can reach out anytime 24/7 to Samaritans of Singapore (1-767), IMH’s 24 hour helpline (6389 2222) and SOS’s 24hour CareText: 9151 1767 (via WhatsApp).
Some of the things you describe about how you feel regarding your body seem to indicate a sort of depersonalisation. This unsettling experience is associated with extreme emotional states, exhaustion, trauma, etc. I’m curious to know whether something occured at the start of term 2? Have you spoken to someone you’re comfortable with about this before? I can’t imagine how isolating this feels for you, so social support can help you through this by having someone to turn to and not feel like you’re alone in this (and that you’re cared for).
I also wonder whether this had happened to you in the past - what would you do to help with the distress? I can see how it will be difficult to engage in those now but what would be things that you enjoy that can help boost your mood? Let’s tap on your strengths to halt or ‘break out’ of what feels like a downward spiral by expressing your emotions in a helpful manner, being kind to yourself, and shifting (to a more helpful) perspective.
Do also consider professional support to help you through in a safe and non-judgmental setting and to cope:
- Family Service Centres
- James Cook University Clinic
- NIE Wellness Centre
- NUS Clinical & Health Psychology Centre
I’m here ready to listen to you and I look forward to hear more from you. Remember that you deserve and can get all the support that you need. Hope to hear from you soon then, take care!
1 Like
heyyy sorry youre feeling all these amidst other life stressors like olvls ><
from all youve shared, it sounds like so so much is going on inside your mind… cutting, skipping meals, feeling odd. i hope you take pockets of time when youre feeling somewhat better to be kind to yourself. giving yourself a mental hug or pat on the back, identifying your strengths, pointing out to yourself who you love and who loves you, highlighting your interests. All these hopefully to remind you of some small good things. Small small actions or thoughts can alr!!
youre having a hard time and i hope it can get better over timeee, maybe slowly, but also surely.
confiding in a professional, i believe will help you make sense of all the confusing feelings and symptoms you experience. what do u think?
2 Likes
Hey @wen , thanks for being brave and coming to this platform to share your struggles. The fact that you even bothered coming on here to share shows that you want to help yourself, and I think you should be proud of yourself for that.
I think it would be good for you to identify your triggers: What’s triggering your suicidal thoughts? Is it the pressure from school, or are there other factors weighing in to make you feel upset?
Once you’ve identified the triggers then it’d be easier to work on them. For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by your studies, you can try planning a study schedule that is easy to follow where you have sufficient breaks and realistic study session goals.
If you need someone to talk to, maybe you can DM me on IG @atikaooi.vox
Take care and hope you feel better soon 
1 Like