ive always wondered if i have a mental health condition or something different about me. sometimes it feels like my mind works faster than my body and mouth can catch up. other times, it feels like i feel more intensely than i actually realise.
if i could write out an experience, there are times when i’d get mad at something someone does and i’d be able to process it quick. i’d know why i feel the way i do, i see the other person’s pov and i just want to be mad. i will talk about it and explain but the other person doesn’t really get it. then i’ll go to bed, wake up and basically forget i was even mad. i’ve always questioned why this is the case.
no matter how slow i try to go, everything just seems to be fast tracked. even my productivity at times. which is why i also procrastinate here and there. someone once asked me if i have adhd and i don’t know cause i never got it checked. i wanted to ask, is there really a difference if i was to be diagnosed or not for whether i do have adhd or some sort of condition.
i rely on the way my mind thinks and sees things and i’ve heard stories about diagnosis changing a person bc of meds. i’m scared if i get diagnosed, i can’t ignore the possibly of being prescribed medication and i fear i don’t feel like me anymore.
Dear @carnello
Thank you for sharing what you are experiencing. It sounds like a really complex and deeply personal experience, and it is only I natural why you’d be wondering about it. It must be frustrating to feel like your mind is running at a different pace than your body, or to process emotions so quickly that others don’t always understand. The way you describe your experiences—how you can intellectually understand your emotions but still feel them intensely—makes so much sense, and I can see why you’d question if there’s something more to it.
I think a diagnosis doesn’t have to change who you are—it’s not about labelling you but rather understanding yourself better. Whether or not you choose to seek one, what matters most is finding ways to navigate life in a way that feels right for you. If these thoughts are something that have been on your mind for a while, it might be worth speaking to a professional, not necessarily for a diagnosis, but to explore strategies that could help you manage things in a way that supports you. Seeking help doesn’t mean you have to take medication—it just means you’ll have more information and options to choose from.
Whatever path you take, you’re still you. Having clarity about how your mind works could actually give you more control, not less. You don’t have to figure it all out at once, but you also don’t have to go through it alone. 
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