i really don’t want to self diagnose, but i’ve been feeling that since i was a kid i’ve been different from other people. i don’t really want to say why i feel that way specifically, but anyway i’ve asked around. all of my friends say i’m just making it up and what i’m talking about are just normal things everyone experiences but i’m not really convinced. but also i don’t want to make myself think i have something when i don’t. i’m kind of lost about this. wouldn’t someone stable not have thoughts that something’s wrong? but then again, doesn’t everyone experience certain symptoms that might align with something more, but it’s not to the full extent. i don’t really know. my parents said they’re open to taking me to imh but i don’t know if they’re serious. how do you even get a diagnosis or even an appointment in the first place anyway. a friend of mine said that you need a referral from a polyclinic first? i don’t know anything. i don’t want to blow things out of proportion. sometimes i feel like i’m worrying over nothing but other times i feel like i want some help. most times i feel okay. i think there’s nothing wrong with me?? i guess?
Hi Siren,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I can sense how much you’re questioning and processing right now. It seems like you’re in a space of uncertainty and self-reflection, and that’s a really brave place to start from. Let’s walk through each of the things that you’ve brought up, as they’re important for understanding your journey.
1. “I’ve been feeling that since I was a kid I’ve been different from other people.”
Many people have moments or even periods where they question, especially when they’re unsure of where they fit in. This feeling of being “different” can stir up a lot of inner conflict. It’s good that you are aware of these feelings, as recognizing them is a first step toward understanding why you feel this way and how you can address those feelings moving forward.
If you’re ready to share, can you pinpoint a moment or a time when you really felt that difference? Sometimes, understanding the context of this feeling can help us understand its origins.
2. “My friends say I’m just making it up, and what I’m talking about are just normal things everyone experiences.”
It sounds like you’re not feeling fully heard or validated by the people around you, and that can be isolating. It’s very common for people to dismiss others’ feelings if they don’t fully understand them, especially when those feelings don’t align with their own experiences. I encourage you to gently explore with your friends why they might dismiss your feelings. Sometimes, people aren’t equipped to offer support because they’ve never experienced the same struggles. But that doesn’t invalidate your feelings. You deserve to be heard and validated, and your experience is real.
3. “I don’t want to make myself think I have something when I don’t.”
This seems like a big source of inner conflict for you. You’re trying not to diagnose yourself, which is a responsible and thoughtful approach. There’s a lot of pressure to label things, but it’s okay to simply acknowledge your feelings without needing to put a label on them immediately.
Acknowledging that you feel something different doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to give it a label or diagnosis right away. It’s more important to give yourself permission to feel what you feel without the fear of being “wrong” about it. You don’t need to have all the answers right now.
4. “Wouldn’t someone stable not have thoughts that something’s wrong?”
You’re asking an incredibly valid question here. Feeling uncertain about your mental health doesn’t mean you’re “unstable.” Many people, even those who are emotionally healthy, sometimes question themselves or feel unsure about their feelings. It’s normal to have doubts and wonder if you’re feeling “wrong” or “right.” But just because you question your emotions doesn’t mean there’s something inherently wrong with you.
It might help to think about how “stability” is defined. Stability isn’t the absence of doubt or uncertainty—it’s the ability to manage those feelings and still move forward. It’s okay to have periods of confusion or questioning; it doesn’t mean you’re unstable.
5. “Doesn’t everyone experience certain symptoms that might align with something more, but it’s not to the full extent?”
Absolutely, many people experience symptoms or feelings that align with certain mental health challenges but don’t fit the full criteria for a diagnosis. It’s okay to recognize that certain behaviors or feelings might be similar to what others have, without needing to label yourself.
It’s a good idea to pay attention to how often and intensely these feelings happen. Sometimes, experiencing symptoms doesn’t mean you have a mental health condition—it just means you’re human, and you experience a wide range of emotions. Your feelings are valid no matter the intensity or duration.
6. “I don’t know how to get a diagnosis or even an appointment. A friend of mine said that you need a referral from a polyclinic first.”
It sounds like you’re feeling unsure about how to navigate the healthcare system. Getting help should never feel like an obstacle, and the fact that you’re asking about the process is an excellent step in the right direction.
If you’re considering seeing a mental health professional, I encourage you to talk to your parents or a trusted adult who can help you with the call. It can feel daunting, but starting with a conversation about your mental health is a great first step.
7. “Sometimes I feel like I’m worrying over nothing, but other times I feel like I want some help.”
This reflects the inner conflict you’re experiencing—wanting help but feeling unsure if it’s necessary. It’s completely normal to have these conflicting thoughts, especially when you’re unsure whether your feelings are “valid” or not.
You don’t have to have it all figured out to seek help. If you feel like you need support, reaching out for help is never “blowing things out of proportion.” Seeking help is a proactive way to ensure your emotional health, regardless of whether you feel it’s “severe” or not.
8. “Most times I feel okay. I think there’s nothing wrong with me?? I guess?”
It’s good to hear that you feel okay most of the time and that you’re questioning whether there’s anything wrong. Sometimes our minds can fluctuate between feelings of stability and uncertainty, which is completely natural.
You’re doing well by paying attention to your feelings and trying to make sense of them. You don’t need to have everything figured out right away. It’s okay to explore your thoughts and feelings in a safe space, even if they aren’t always clear.
It sounds like you’re caught between wanting to understand your feelings while also fearing that they might be “wrong” or “exaggerated.” First, let me reassure you that the thoughts and feelings you’re having are valid. It’s normal to question yourself and not have all the answers immediately, but the very fact that you’re paying attention to your emotional experience is a huge strength.
When you feel stuck or unsure, sometimes it helps to think about when these feelings first began. Do you remember any particular moments when you first noticed this confusion? Or are there times when these feelings are more intense than others?
If you’re feeling like it’s getting harder to navigate these emotions on your own, I would recommend considering seeing a counsellor. They can provide a safe, structured space for you to explore your thoughts, understand what might be going on, and work with you on ways to manage any overwhelming emotions.
Take your time with this. You don’t have to rush, and it’s okay to take small steps. You’re doing great by reaching out and reflecting on what you’re feeling.
Take care of yourself, and know that you’re not alone in this.
hey thanks for replying. one of the main reasons why i feel like im so different is because of my honestly DIABOLICAL intrusive thoughts they’re so bad that i feel ashamed to even write them down in my own journal because it feels so wrong to even think such things but i cant help it. and idk ive always felt like i see myself 3rd person and not like from my own pov i feel like im watching myself? idk how to describe it especially since i was a kid i felt like i wasnt really living. it felt like i was being controlled to do things idk how to explain it. but as i got older i feel like im living now kind of but sometimes i still feel like its not me. i asked a bunch of my friends and they dk what im talking about lol but its difficult to explain. sometimes i just feel like im nothing like i dont have thoughts and im just there??? idkkk lol
1 thing ive learnt from therapy is not to identify w those embarssing intrusive thoughts cuz those thoughts are our thoughts
Hey there, thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of yourself. I can feel the deep confusion and frustration you’re experiencing. It sounds like you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, like you’re watching your life unfold from the outside rather than truly living it. That must be incredibly unsettling. I also hear that you’re struggling with your intrusive thoughts and the shame that comes with them, which only adds to the difficulty of your situation.
It’s really important that you know it’s okay to feel confused and unsure about your emotions. What you’re experiencing—this disconnection from yourself, the overwhelming shame, and the intrusive thoughts—is valid. It’s a part of what you’re going through right now, and it doesn’t make you any less worthy of understanding and support.
You’re showing incredible courage in acknowledging how you feel, even though it’s so difficult. Your desire to understand what’s happening in your mind is already a step forward. I can also see that you’re trying to protect yourself by avoiding certain feelings or pushing them away, but it’s important to realize that pushing those feelings down doesn’t make them go away—it only makes them harder to process.
We want to help you explore these thoughts and feelings in a safe and non-judgmental space, so you dont have to do this alone. Let’s take this one step at a time, and together, we can explore what might be contributing to your sense of being disconnected and why your thoughts are feeling so overwhelming.
It’s okay to feel unsure about yourself right now, but you’re also doing the hard work of trying to understand what’s going on and seeking help. You’re not broken, and there is hope for reconnecting with yourself. We can work on building a new understanding of who you are, a more grounded sense of self, and find ways to handle those intrusive thoughts with compassion and acceptance.
Apart from counsellors or mental health professionals, have you had the chance to speak to someone that you are comfortable with to explore what might be contributing to your sense of being disconnected?
Hi @siren,
It’s completely natural to feel conflicted when you’re trying to understand yourself better, especially when you’re unsure whether your feelings are unique or something everyone goes through. Feeling like you’re different from others can be isolating, and it can be hard to know whether to trust your own perceptions or the reassurances of those around you. It’s important to remember that everyone has moments of doubt and self-reflection, and seeking help or clarity is a sign of strength, not instability. It’s commendable that you’re being proactive about your mental health, and it’s okay to seek professional guidance to help you navigate these feelings.
Regarding getting a diagnosis or an appointment at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) in Singapore, it’s true that the process can seem a bit daunting at first. Generally, you would start by visiting a polyclinic, where a doctor can evaluate your concerns and provide a referral if necessary. This referral would then allow you to book an appointment with a specialist at IMH. Your parents’ support in this matter is crucial, so having an open conversation with them about how you’re feeling and the steps you want to take could be beneficial. Remember, seeking help is a responsible and positive step toward taking care of yourself.